WHAT THE CHE, MERCEDES BENZ?

MERCEDES COMMITTING AMERICAN MARKET SUICIDE

Mercedes Benz has a brilliant strategy to sell cars in America! Use the image of a communist murderer who despised America! Brilliant! Wasn’t Hitler’s image available? Mercedes Chairman Dieter Zetsche recently appeared at the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas under the banner of Ernesto ‘Che’ Guevara. Che was the Argentine communist that helped Fidel Castro overthrow the Batista government in Cuba. Guevara was also a bloodthirsty mass murderer who delighted in executing his political enemies. Or anyone else, for that matter. He suffered a natural death from a .45 caliber headache in Bolivia while trying to overthrow that government in 1967.

Why would Mercedes Benz select Guevara? Who the hell knows? Don’t even try to figure out the mind of Germans! I’ll be blunt. AWD has never met an Aussie I didn’t like. Conversely, AWD has never met a German he liked. All fuzzy foreigners have various degrees of weirdness in them but Germans pretty much peg the meter! Other than Arabs who are in a league all by themselves. Every Gunter, Dieter or Uwe (pronounced ooh-vay, you goat ropers) I’ve ever known have been cold, heartless bastids! Germans have personalities like ten day old turds, zero sense of humor and are rude to boot! And every damn one of those heartless bastids dresses the same! Head to toe in black, goofy bowl-head haircuts and little granny glasses. It must be a law over there to dress up like the Cure!

AWD was visiting the beautiful country of Costa Rica with an old college buddy about 6 years ago. We were enjoying the wildlife (ohhhh, the wildlife, baybah) down there over ten days. Of course, that was in AWD’s single days. We were cruising down the plaza in San Juan one day when we saw a bunch of morons dressed totally in black clothes, bowl-head haircuts and little goofy glasses. They stood out like Janeane Garofalo in a makeup department. I looked at my friend and immediately said, “a bunch of @#*& Krauts!” Sure enough, we walked close by and heard them talking German. My friend thinks he’s this big international kind of guy who wants to be friends with anyone who comes close to him. When he tried to talk to those Germans, they basically blew him off just like I knew they would. Rude, cold bastids.

Back to Guevara and Mercedes. The backdrop behind the Mercedes Benz Chairman showed Guevara with his gay little beret with a Mercedes emblem on it. Genius! Oh, they also had the phrase “Viva la Revolucion” on the banner. Extra genius! What revolucion are they talking about? The Cuban revolution that destroyed that county while Che and Castro stole from, murdered and/or imprisoned tens of thousands? I’m sure the Cuban people might disagree with Mercedes about how successful the revolution has been for them. Of course, unless they are very old, most Cubans have no idea what a Mercedes Benz is! They’re still driving 1950′s vintage rusting American cars! Viva la revolucion, indeed! Stupids!

The German bastids quickly got an earful from people with decency and quickly apologized for using Guevara’s image:

“Daimler was not condoning the life or actions of this historical figure or the political philosophy he espoused. We sincerely apologise to those who took offense.”

The hell you weren’t! Anytime a company uses a well-known figure, they have to realize that people will equate that person and their actions with the product.

So Mercedes wants to sell their pricey cars to Americans and they choose a communist murderer who despised the United States? I guess they didn’t think of Iran’s Ahmadinejad or Mr. Potato Head Chavez of Venezuela. They could have hired those two terrorists to drive around in Mercedes Benz cars. Maybe driving over the US flag. Yeah, yeah, that would really sell some cars.

And for all those cool college kids waving around flags of Che Guevara at their Occupy and Poop events or wearing Che t shirts, here’s how Comrade Guevara would have treated you:

“The U.S. is the great enemy of mankind!” raved Mercedes Benz new U.S. sales icon. “Against those hyenas there is no option but extermination! We will bring the war to the imperialist enemies’ (Americans) very home, to his places of work and recreation. The imperialist enemy (Americans) must feel like a hunted animal wherever he moves. Thus we’ll destroy him! We must keep our hatred (against the U.S.) alive and fan it to paroxysm! If the nuclear missiles had remained (in Cuba) we would have fired them against the heart of the U.S. including New York City. The solutions to the world’s problems lie behind the Iron Curtain. The victory of socialism is well worth millions of atomic victims!”

Too bad Mercedes didn’t Photoshop Guevara wearing all black clothes with a bowl-head haircut wearing gay little rectangular glasses. Would have been more realistic! Screw Mercedes Benz and all the Gunters who work there! I think I’ll stick with Ford pick-ups, myself!

PUT THIS ON A T SHIRT!

Here’s a good take on those fuzzy little foreigners known as Germans:

Here’s Beck with a study on Che:

Shortlink:

Posted by AWD on January 14, 2012. Filed under In The Press, Politics, Random Posts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry