Greetings, from AWD’s Secret, Undisclosed Global HQ

February 3, 2012 | Filed under: One Big Angry Family | Posted by: RedStaterNYC

It’s me, a-Mario!

They Call Me Texas Red

So I’m here in Dallas, or some suburb nearby. (I don’t really know—this place is so huge I’m just generally confused. I mean, more generally than generally, even. I mean, DFW’s bigger than Manhattan, and AWD’s standup shower in the guest bedroom is bigger than my apartment, if you dig.) But anyway, the point is I’m in the promise land, baby.

So what’s on tap for us two banditos locos this weekend?

Anyway, open post. Or not. I don’t care—I’m partying with AWD in Texas tonight!

No they don't!

Addendum!

Redneck Heaven, Eff Yeah

Not sure about the "redneck", but the "heaven" part is apt!

Shortlink:

Posted by RedStaterNYC on February 3, 2012. Filed under One Big Angry Family. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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34 Responses to Greetings, from AWD’s Secret, Undisclosed Global HQ

Try and make me proud Red, and keep it clean. I know you will be careful with that weird science down there in Texas. Now, this message will self destruct in ten seconds…

Lucky13
February 3, 2012 at 4:38 pm
- Lucky, as you’ll see we’re keeping it very clean!!!
  
  RedStaterNYC
  February 3, 2012 at 6:20 pm
Oh yuck~! Where in the world did you come up with that bottom picture Red..don’t know whether to laugh or cry!

You guys have a good time…and tell Big Sexy howdy…still waiting for a reply from him via email too. If he gets the time, after all this time.

Btw…we’ve got that global warming thing going on here in Big Sky Country as well…and we’re lovin’ it!!

bigtimer
February 3, 2012 at 4:39 pm
- Same down here–I’m sweating my you-know-whats off!
  
  RedStaterNYC
  February 3, 2012 at 6:21 pm
RedState
Just what the hell is that thang?

ga steve
February 3, 2012 at 4:57 pm
- GA, no idea–just typed in “weird” into Bing and that came up. Felt right…
  
  RedStaterNYC
  February 3, 2012 at 6:21 pm
  - Red that picture is so Creepy and disturbing on so many levels. Looks like a litter of Ol Mo’s and Georgie’s “kids”.
    
    Dirty Al the Infidel
    February 4, 2012 at 2:09 am
Welcome to Tx. Red. Hope you have a good stay and enjoy some world class meskin food. As long as AWD is packing, biggest worry you got is Oak Lawn mosquitoes. If you fools run out of something to do, holler and we’ll meet up and thin out the hogs and coyotes. Don’t forget to go check out Foat Wuf too.

Angus
February 3, 2012 at 4:58 pm
- Angus, AWD was just talking about that. I’m up for it! You got the big guy’s info? Let’s shoot some critters (may or may not include liberals)…
  
  RedStaterNYC
  February 3, 2012 at 6:22 pm
  - Don’t forget your Firearms rules http://dailycaller.com/2012/01/16/13-politically-incorrect-gun-rules/
    
    Dirty Al the Infidel
    February 3, 2012 at 8:54 pm
apropos of nothing:

A Greyhound bus was driving cross-country with a guy each from Idaho, Iowa, New York, and Florida. After a ways, the guy from Idaho opens the window and throws out a bag of potatoes, explaining that he’s going back home where there are plenty of potatoes, so he doesn’t have to lug that heavy bag around any more. After another ways, the guy from Iowa throws out his heavy bag of corn. After another ways, the guy from Florida opens his window and throws out the New Yorker.

misterbill
February 3, 2012 at 5:22 pm
- Billiam, reminds me of this old groaner:
  
  A Mexican, an American, a Jamaican, and a Russian are stranded together on a life boat out at sea. At one point, the Russian pulls a flask out of his pocket, takes a swig, and then tosses it into the ocean. The others look at him aghast. “Hey, we would’ve liked some of that!” says one. The Russian replies, “Sorry, comrades—it’s just that, in Soviet Russia, there is so much wodka we don’t think twice about wasting it.” Everyone begrudgingly accepts this excuse. A short while later, the Jamaican fires up a blunt, takes a couple puffs, then flicks the rest of it into the ocean. Again, everyone is aghast, and someone says, “Hey, we would’ve liked some of that!” To which the Jamaican replies, “Sorry, mon, it’s just that in Jamaica we have so much weed we don’t think twice about wasting it.” Everyone, again, accepts this excuse and looks back out to sea. Then, a few minutes later, the American picks up the Mexican and throws him into the ocean.
  
  RedStaterNYC
  February 3, 2012 at 6:23 pm
  - Red–That ain’t self deportation–but I love it!!!
    
    misterbill
    February 4, 2012 at 9:37 am
misterbill
I knew a guy that went out to Las Vegas in a $50,000 Cadillac and came back in a $200,000 Greyhound bus.

ga steve
February 3, 2012 at 6:01 pm
- Well if its joke night try this one:
  A man was going to make his first trip to Boston and a friend told him ‘Be sure to try the prepared cod fish, they call it scrod, it’s great.” After arrival the fellow hailed a taxi and asked the driver “Can you tell me where I can get scrod?” The cabby replied “Buddy, I’ve been asked that a thousand times but this is the first time I’ve heard it in the pluperfect subjunctive.” Then he threw the passenger out of the cab That ought to make it blend in.
  
  not2latenow
  February 3, 2012 at 6:37 pm
  - I originally came from Boston. An old ditty goes:
    
    Her’s to good old Boston,
    the land of the shrimp and the cod,
    where the Cabots speak only to Lodges
    and the Lodges speak only to God!!!
    
    misterbill
    February 4, 2012 at 9:39 am
Damn this place is getting weird. I thought http://www.peopleofwalmart.com was strange. Looks like RedStater is already in the sauce down in the Lone Star area.

not2latenow
February 3, 2012 at 6:06 pm
- n2ln, well…
  
  eh…
  
  yeah.
  
  RedStaterNYC
  February 3, 2012 at 6:24 pm
  - Okay since we’re doing the Wally world thing (Notice one “F” bomb, I didn’t write it);http://ogdaa.blogspot.com/2012/02/talk-about-fuck-world-attitude.html
    
    Dirty Al the Infidel
    February 3, 2012 at 8:00 pm
hope everybody is having a good time

tankernh1
February 3, 2012 at 7:53 pm
Am I the last to know about this? Obama will be on the GA ballot. From WSBTV Atlanta
http://www.wsbtv.com/ap/ap/georgia/ga-judge-rejects-attempt-to-keep-obama-off-ballot/nHS9Q/

not2latenow
February 3, 2012 at 8:10 pm
- not2late
  I guess I’m the last to know, I had my doubts of any thing happening since it took place in a Fulton County court.
  
  ga steve
  February 3, 2012 at 8:20 pm
  - Here’s more from the Atlanta Urinal Constipation:
    http://www.ajc.com/news/georgia-politics-elections/judge-obama-eligible-to-1330300.html
    
    not2latenow
    February 3, 2012 at 8:32 pm
Just in time for hate whitey month, Mahogny mobs will probably be out in force after this is shown.
http://www.thegrio.com/black-history/smithsonian-channel-releases-mlk-assassination-tapes.php

ga steve
February 3, 2012 at 8:13 pm
An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet..
‘I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day,then eat regularly
again for 2 days then skip a day ……. And repeat this procedure for 2 weeks.
The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds.’
When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60 lbs! ‘Why, that’s amazing!’ the doctor said, ‘Did you follow my instructions?’
The Irishman nodded … ‘I’ll tell you though, be jaesuz, I t’aut I were going to drop dead on dat ‘tird day.’
‘From the hunger, you mean?’ asked the doctor.
‘No, from the feckin’ skippin’

Angus
February 3, 2012 at 8:19 pm
@RedStater…

Now you be careful down there in the “Big D” with the Dude! I don’t want to hear about your little fillies havin’ to go to the Police Station to bail either of you out! From what I hear, I am not sure which one of you two are not the best influence on the other!

Got to be one of the cleverest
e-mails received in awhile.
Someone must be “Deadly” at Scrabble.
Wait till you see the last one!

PRESBYTERIAN:
Rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
Rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
Rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
Rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
Rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:
Rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

DORMITORY:
Rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

SLOT MACHINES:
Rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
Rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
Rearrange the letters:
LIES – LET’S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
Rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z ‘S

A DECIMAL POINT:
Rearrange the letters:
I’M A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
Rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
Rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
Rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

FINALLY….
FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA
Rearrange the letters:
STRUGGLING INCOMPETENT LIAR

MTPatriot
February 3, 2012 at 8:28 pm
For those of you Dudes and Dudettes with a sense of adventure, the following is for you!

http://www.youtube.com/embed/ER1PGYe9UZA

MTPatriot
February 3, 2012 at 10:09 pm
- Freakin’ Awesome, I wouldn’t jump myself but that was cool.
  
  I suspect this vid and a few Honky Tonk brews will be the inspiration for Red and AWD base jumping this.
  
  http://www.roadsideamerica.com/attract/images/tx/TXSANcowboyboots.jpg
  
  Waspish
  February 4, 2012 at 12:22 am
- What a fantastic film! To actually fulfill the flying dream would have to be one of the greatest sensations possible.
  
  Timbo
  February 4, 2012 at 11:38 am
Since the Dude is in Texas, I’d very much like to hear his philosophical thoughts about the recent riots at Houston’s DeKaney High School. They can’t be labled as race riots since white students weren’t involved.

thunk
February 4, 2012 at 11:10 am
How To Be a Racist and Get Away With It

Memphis, Tennessee, media ignore disc jockey Thaddeus Matthews’ racist, abusive insults during his profanity-laced interview with Republican congressional candidate Charlotte Bergmann.

“I’m so sick of your shit, yourself, and I’m about to put your ass up outta here. You are a token negro that white folk have control over. … Get up and get your ass up outta here. Get your stupid, ignorant ass up outta my studio.”—Thaddeus Matthews

As Bergmann was leaving the studio, she extended her hand to the Memphis DJ:

“I don’t need to shake your hand. I’m scared because some of that whiteness might rub off on me.”—Thaddeus Matthews

Matthews’ tirade has garnered attention throughout the blogosphere, but mainstream and local media have ignored it. Bergmann said that no politicians have phoned and no organizations have spoken out expressing their outrage over the DJ’s racist, abusive rant.

“The anger has been expressed throughout the nation, but not in my local … area.”—Charlotte Bergmann, Republican congressional candidate

Bergmann is running in Tennessee’s mostly-black 9th District against Democrat Steve Cohen. Cohen received national notoriety in September 2008 for comparing Obama to Jesus and Sarah Palin to Pontius Pilate.

Cohen is a member of the Congressional Progressive Caucus and the first Jew to represent a majority black district. In 2008, he tried to become the first white member of the Congressional Black Caucus, but CBC members didn’t like the idea of a white Jew in their ranks.

Matthews is lucky that he called Bergmann a “curly-haired nigga” and not a “nappy-headed ho, or he’d be in real trouble right now.

http://elvisnixon.com/2012/02/04/how-to-be-a-racist-and-get-away-with-it–hint-it-helps-if-you-are-a-liberal.aspx

ELVISNIXON.COM
February 4, 2012 at 12:49 pm
- It is hard to reply to someone who keeps saying “I axed you blah, blah, blah.”
  
  Someone ought to axe him how he got a radio show.
  
  misterbill
  February 4, 2012 at 6:09 pm
DAMN! Feel so left out!!!!

American Infidel #1
February 4, 2012 at 4:29 pm
We called CITY SLICKERA as FLATLANDERSand some dumb city kid visits afrm sees a pile of milk bottles and says LOOK A COWS NEST

SPURWING PLOVER
February 4, 2012 at 10:25 pm

Greetings, from AWD’s Secret, Undisclosed Global HQ

34 Responses to Greetings, from AWD’s Secret, Undisclosed Global HQ

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