Angry White Dude has received some disturbing news from the manufacturer of his big, sexy t shirts! According to Anthem Studios, AWD has fallen way behind Ann Barnhardt and marginally behind that furry hatted bastid at I Own The World in sales! Now how’s that supposed to make me feel? I mean, Ann Barnhardt is a bad-ass Christian girl who is no friend of Islam…which makes her a friend to me…but she has a pink AR-15! I crap you negative! AWD isn’t used to finishing in last place! Especially to a pink gun-toting babe! This sh*t has got to stop, people!
Don’t get me wrong. AWD likes Ann’s and IOTW’s t shirts. Hell, I bought one of each myself to sport around at my right-wing extremist haunts. But AWD needs to get some shirts sold or Anthem Studios people say they’re going to start ordering my shirts with lace! Here’s the one I bought from Ann…makes me want to go out and go joust a libtard! It just has that cool-looking King and Queen sh*t look to it. Can’t wait to get it!
And here’s what AWD goes Wal-Marting in just to stir up trouble:
AWD had a guy come up to him a few weeks ago in Wal-Mart (hell no! I wasn’t on the moisturizing products aisle!) and say, “hey, I love to read I Own The World. Cool shirt!” I said, “Oh yeah? Wanna fight about it?”
So for a limited time only, AWD has arranged the personal services of 73 almost-virgins for anyone buying an Angry White Dude, 100% cotton, 100% supa-groovy, pre-shrunk, bad-ass t shirt. No, it won’t be the same damn 73 almost-virgins that y’all have to share! You’ll get your very own litter to select from. I don’t know about y’all but AWD likes my womerns a little on the trashy side. Who wants 72 virgins when you can get some flippy floppy in with some gen-u-ine trashy almost-virgin womerns? You better believe these fillies have seen one up close and liked it! Just think how they’ll light up when you come strolling through the pearly gates of Allah’s tent sporting a sexical-looking AWD shirt! They’ll be on you like a Muslim on a goat! You’ll be unsheathing that sword of jihad for some serious battle….if you know what the Big Sexy means! And if you’re a filly wanting to buy an AWD shirt, I’m working on getting that fuzzy foreigner Fabio on the roster for when Allah calls you to the big tent party in paradise. He might be gay, though. Fabio’s a foreigner.
Here are two designs every dude should have in his wardrobe:
And one for the fillies:
Here’s the link to Anthem Studios so you can start ordering your cheap ass a t shirt or four!
Here’s a guy I might send an AWD shirt to for free except I think by the way he talks makes him sound a whole hell of a lot like an Englishter. It’s probably not legal over in Englandistan to wear an AWD shirt anymore. The Queen was bugging the hell out of me to sell her a few a while back. Called bullsh*t on that. Can’t have no damn Queen running around in one of my supa-sexy shirts out in public! How embarrassing would it be if she wore an AWD shirt with one of those silly looking hats. That just ain’t right, unless it was a cowboy hat.
Anyway, even though he’s a fuzzy little foreigner, I like this Pat Condell cat a lot. He likes Muslims almost as much as AWD…which is not at all. I like his videos. This one about sums my feelings about Islam up nicely:
The question is whether the people will rise up against Islam while our leaders apologize to them? What do you think?
In fact, I’m going to do an open post on that question. Do you think the West has the cojones anymore to put down Islam? One day it’s going to be them or us. A movie comes out over here about Muhammad and they burn down our embassies in the Middle East and kill Americans doing it. They kill Americans and burn down our embassies and we don’t do jack crap!
And for Music That Doesn’t Suck tonight, it’s Texas’ own James McMurtry. AWD caught James a couple weeks ago at the Continental Club upstairs while down in Austin. Been a fan for many years. Ten bucks to watch James play for 90 minutes to 20 people. Damn, I love me some Texas. Here’s a great song about “Ruby and Carlos.”
And this is one of the greatest songs ever written about meth production and family reunions. All the places discussed in the song apparently exist up in Oklahoma. James’ dad is Larry McMurtry who wrote The Last Picture Show, Lonesome Dove and Brokeback Mountain. We’ll just forget about that Brokeback Mountain part. I love me this song called “Choctaw Bingo.” For all you gun nuts, James knows his way around some guns. Just listen. AWD’s got him a SKS, too. And some steel-core ammo with them berdan primers!