BIG AND SEXY, BAYBAH!

Angry White Dude has received some disturbing news from the manufacturer of his big, sexy t shirts! According to Anthem Studios, AWD has fallen way behind Ann Barnhardt and marginally behind that furry hatted bastid at I Own The World in sales! Now how’s that supposed to make me feel? I mean, Ann Barnhardt is a bad-ass Christian girl who is no friend of Islam…which makes her a friend to me…but she has a pink AR-15! I crap you negative! AWD isn’t used to finishing in last place! Especially to a pink gun-toting babe! This sh*t has got to stop, people!

Don’t get me wrong. AWD likes Ann’s and IOTW’s t shirts. Hell, I bought one of each myself to sport around at my right-wing extremist haunts. But AWD needs to get some shirts sold or Anthem Studios people say they’re going to start ordering my shirts with lace! Here’s the one I bought from Ann…makes me want to go out and go joust a libtard! It just has that cool-looking King and Queen sh*t look to it. Can’t wait to get it!

And here’s what AWD goes Wal-Marting in just to stir up trouble:

AWD had a guy come up to him a few weeks ago in Wal-Mart (hell no! I wasn’t on the moisturizing products aisle!) and say, “hey, I love to read I Own The World. Cool shirt!” I said, “Oh yeah? Wanna fight about it?”

So for a limited time only, AWD has arranged the personal services of 73 almost-virgins for anyone buying an Angry White Dude, 100% cotton, 100% supa-groovy, pre-shrunk, bad-ass t shirt. No, it won’t be the same damn 73 almost-virgins that y’all have to share! You’ll get your very own litter to select from. I don’t know about y’all but AWD likes my womerns a little on the trashy side. Who wants 72 virgins when you can get some flippy floppy in with some gen-u-ine trashy almost-virgin womerns? You better believe these fillies have seen one up close and liked it! Just think how they’ll light up when you come strolling through the pearly gates of Allah’s tent sporting a sexical-looking AWD shirt! They’ll be on you like a Muslim on a goat! You’ll be unsheathing that sword of jihad for some serious battle….if you know what the Big Sexy means! And if you’re a filly wanting to buy an AWD shirt, I’m working on getting that fuzzy foreigner Fabio on the roster for when Allah calls you to the big tent party in paradise. He might be gay, though. Fabio’s a foreigner.

Here are two designs every dude should have in his wardrobe:

And one for the fillies:

Here’s the link to Anthem Studios so you can start ordering your cheap ass a t shirt or four!

Here’s a guy I might send an AWD shirt to for free except I think by the way he talks makes him sound a whole hell of a lot like an Englishter. It’s probably not legal over in Englandistan to wear an AWD shirt anymore. The Queen was bugging the hell out of me to sell her a few a while back. Called bullsh*t on that. Can’t have no damn Queen running around in one of my supa-sexy shirts out in public! How embarrassing would it be if she wore an AWD shirt with one of those silly looking hats. That just ain’t right, unless it was a cowboy hat.

Anyway, even though he’s a fuzzy little foreigner, I like this Pat Condell cat a lot. He likes Muslims almost as much as AWD…which is not at all. I like his videos. This one about sums my feelings about Islam up nicely:

The question is whether the people will rise up against Islam while our leaders apologize to them? What do you think?

In fact, I’m going to do an open post on that question. Do you think the West has the cojones anymore to put down Islam? One day it’s going to be them or us. A movie comes out over here about Muhammad and they burn down our embassies in the Middle East and kill Americans doing it. They kill Americans and burn down our embassies and we don’t do jack crap!

And for Music That Doesn’t Suck tonight, it’s Texas’ own James McMurtry. AWD caught James a couple weeks ago at the Continental Club upstairs while down in Austin. Been a fan for many years. Ten bucks to watch James play for 90 minutes to 20 people. Damn, I love me some Texas. Here’s a great song about “Ruby and Carlos.”

And this is one of the greatest songs ever written about meth production and family reunions. All the places discussed in the song apparently exist up in Oklahoma. James’ dad is Larry McMurtry who wrote The Last Picture Show, Lonesome Dove and Brokeback Mountain. We’ll just forget about that Brokeback Mountain part. I love me this song called “Choctaw Bingo.” For all you gun nuts, James knows his way around some guns. Just listen. AWD’s got him a SKS, too. And some steel-core ammo with them berdan primers!

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12 Comments

  1. Unfortunately, in his speech to Muslims in Egypt a few years ago, B.O. made a vow that “America is not, and never will be, at war with Islam.” He made the vow on our behalf because 1) he is a Muslim himself, and 2) he doesn’t care what the hell our opinion is on the matter. As such, he declared open season on America and Americans, and assured our enemy that we would never retaliate.

    IF the west will ever have the testicles to stand up to these barbarians, it will undoubtedly be Israel that does the dirty work — or starts it. If America throws B.O. out of office, and we actually elect a President who will back Israel against the Islamic savages, MAYBE the rest of the Western world (which must be getting as sick of this looting/burning/slaughtering scenario as we are) will come back to life and join the revolt. It’s a long shot, and whether Romney will put his money where is mouth was in his speech to the Israelis remains to be seen.

    In the meantime, YES, I do think the people will rise up against Islam. Gun sales in the US haven’t gone through the roof because we’re afraid of Mormons.

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  2. Damn Dude Ruby and Carlos was god awful depressing, but the musical delivery was excellent. I’m afraid to listen to Choctaw Bingo.

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  3. Cinnamon Girl says:

    As soon as I can afford to I’ll buy a t-shirt.

    Meanwhile, I’m loving the Pat Condell video.

    I’ve told this story here before but I’ll tell it again. About 20 years ago I met a woman in a mall in Missouri. She was selling perfume at a kiosk. I noticed her Scottish accent and remarked on it, asking what brought her here to the states. She said it was the Muslims. I was confused so she explained that they were taking over the UK and she found them unbearable, and she warned that if we don’t do something about them they will come to the U.S. and attack us.

    Here we are all these years later, and they’re worse than ever. They DID come here in 2001, hijacked some jetliners with our people on board, and murdered 3,000 of our own in a single day. Of course, they’d learned how to do it right here on our soil.

    On that day I thought of the Scottish lady. She’d told me it was going to happen. Perhaps she was thinking of Lockerbie, Pan Am Flight 103, as well as the day to day life that had become the new UK. Flight 103 was done by Libyans, the last of which was let go, having been the only one convicted, on passionate grounds because he had prostate cancer.

    From Wikipedia:

    “Despite being advised by their governments not to travel to Lockerbie, many of the passengers’ relatives, most of them from the US, arrived there within days to identify their loved ones. Volunteers from Lockerbie set up and manned canteens, which stayed open 24 hours, where relatives, soldiers, police officers, and social workers could find free sandwiches, hot meals, coffee, and someone to talk to. The people of the town washed, dried, and ironed every piece of clothing that was found once the police had determined they were of no forensic value, so that as many items as possible could be returned to the relatives. The BBC’s Scottish correspondent, Andrew Cassell, reported on the 10th anniversary of the bombing that the townspeople had “opened their homes and hearts” to the relatives, bearing their own losses “stoically and with enormous dignity”, and that the bonds forged then continue to this day.”

    And today our leaders, our own president and secretary of state, apologize to Muslims the world over. They released an apologetic video in Pakistan and hours later our embassy there was besieged.

    While I don’t want to see Americans pre-emptively attacking Muslims who happen to live here in the U.S., I am convinced that if the Muslims try anything to physically harm us here it will be war on our doorsteps and we will win. It’s just that it shouldn’t come to that.

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  4. Let me forewarn AWD members about AWD T-Shirts… after I purchased my AWD T-Shirt, 72 fat virgins with missing teeth appeared in my bedroom… needless-to-say, I sent them all home.

    What I did receive from AWD and Anthem Studios, was a great super sexy heavy duty T-Shirt guaranteed to piss off liberals… thanks AWD.

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  5. Let’s talk about this 72 virgins that each dead muslim fighter gets.
    I did some math just trying to see just how many dead muslim fighters there were and then multiplied that 72 for each dead martyr, and my calculator locked up!

    Jesus H Christ, in order to supply these virgins, they are now down to the 1st grade in elementary school!!!

    This religion is a mockery, just trying to believe this shit.

    Do you believe it??????

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  6. Dude, you do realize where the heart on that shirt comes from don’t you? Yes that’s right, France. The people in the Vendee who resisted the government tyranny used it as their battle flag. Thankfully my French ancestors left before that all took place. They came from the same region.

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  7. I have heard and read some of the reviews, on Amazon.com, about the 3 wolves howling T-shirts and the effects it can have on women for even the nerdiest young men. But now that I can buy an AWD T-shirt and get 73 almost virgins how could I possibly resist that offer?

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  8. Gary Nelson Harper says:

    Getting a 404 Forbidden error on the Anthem URL.. Server may have Thailand blocked… will attempt bypass through San Francisco proxy server in a few hours.

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