Is there nothing the federal government won’t spend our money on? Congress cannot not spend our damn money! Dims and Republicans these days would spend $1 billion to watch an elephant hump a tree. Why? It’s not THEIR money! No wonder we’re $16 trillion (and rapidly growing) in debt!

Now we learn the government spent $30,000 to study….I crap you negative….gaydar! Gaydar (for all you breeders out there) is when one homo-sexule can identify another homo-sexule just by looking at them. For $30 large, do you know how much gun-dar AWD could enjoy?

AWD is pretty perceptive all by my lonesome and without a government subsidy. I have all kinds of “dars” working here. First, I have black-dar. I can pretty much 100% of the time tell when someone is black. Same with cracka-dar. I can tell without fail a cracka…even from a distance. And I have a pretty keenly developed sense of chink-dar where I can identify Asians. It’s not that hard, just look for the crashed vehicle causing the traffic jam.

But gay-dar? For $30,000? Sheee-ut! It’s not that difficult to pick out a poofter. Like AWD’s angry white brother says:

“Those you suspect the most, usually are.”

And damn if he isn’t right with that little piece of info! The Big Sexy could have saved taxpayers the $30,000 by providing for free these tell-tale signs of homo-sexules.  You can usually tell a cat is a “sensitive guy” if:

  • he owns a cat
  • uses words like “fabulous” and “marvelous” incessantly
  • has strands from his pillow caught in his teeth
  • has a strong working knowledge of beauty products
  • reads “mens magazines” such as GQ and Esquire
  • hangs out in Chicago bath houses and has a body man named Reggie Love
  • is a Democrat
  • describes certain foods as something “to die for”

And you can pretty much tell a womern is a lebanese if she:

  • looks like a man
  • wears flannel shirts
  • is a completely miserable, mean human being
  • is a Democrat

I know some of this scientific sh*t might be a little difficult for some of you goat ropers to understand. So the Big Sexy is going to light a candle rather than curse your darkness. While it may be difficult for the untrained eye, AWD is going to show you photos of a homo-sexule man followed by a photo of a hetero-sexule man

HOMO-SEXULE MAN

Some of the subtle hints you might look for are the lipstick, painted fingernails, and makeup on this fellow. Yes, I think it’s pretty clear. This is a Democrat.

Here is a photo of a heterosexual man:

This man is in possession of a firearm. A good sign for hetero-sexules. Also a good sign for men that don’t take any guff from Mezcans.

There!  put $30 grand in your pocket!  AWD rests his case!  This is just another example of government pouring money into studies that are worthless and don’t do any good!  But at least this worthless study went to a study on gay humans.  I’m surprised the government didn’t spend $30k or more on gaydar in Siamese salamanders!

Like AWD said, I’m gifted. I have all these dars naturally. But I’m pleased to share these tips with you dudes and dudettes. I’m beginning my graduate-level studies of animal-dar. So far, I’m pretty advanced in the field of dog-dar and cat-dar. Like I said, it’s a gift. Hell, maybe I can get a grant!

Here’s the link to prove AWD didn’t make this sh*t up!

Here’s another expert in the field of gay-dar. He’s also the King of Country Western Troubadours. It’s Unknown Hinson (named after his father on his birth certificate) singing “Your Man Is Gay.” He’s also a scientist.

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51 Comments

  1. AWD,

    I’m a little worried… I feed a stray cat twice a day. In casual conversation, I’ve mentioned that I’ve been feeding this stray for two years now, and most people say it is no longer a stray, but belongs to me.

    Your first “sensitive guy” comment… he owns a cat. God forbid if I moisturize in the morning or decide to shave my legs… if so, just shoot me.

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  2. AW, What are the clues your black-dar picks up on?

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  3. SPURWING PLOVER says:

    John Wayne was a real ma Pee Wee Hermin is a total dweeb

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  4. Why you be hatin on us gays?
    I once was at a party, the host had worked for starlet [name deleted] and told stories of travolta, stallone, parker stevenson, cruise etcetc.
    He [not me] said they all be gay.

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    • RedStaterNYC says:

      90404, yous got da gays? Well i’ll be damned. Anywho, yeah–all dem celebritards be gay. comes with the territory.

      But even stallone?

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  5. Damnit AWD, guess I’m on the list as well for owning a cat. But I think I made up for that by also owning a dog the size of a small horse, a big ass truck, and plenty of guns in the safe.

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  6. I have to side with Paul B and J in MS on the cat side of the aisle. I’ve watched my 15-pound tom cat torture, shred and eat mice in a way that would make a gay man faint dead away.

    Think: if a cat was the size of a dog, it would be all over for Fido…

    Cats rule, dogs drool.

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  7. You forgot to mention you can identify a queer by they’re feminine voices and/or use of a lisp.

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  8. Will never forget this. When my son was about 3 years old, he happened by the tv when a talk show was on. There was a gayer-than-springtime hairdresser talking about moisturizing, or some such fluff. My son watched him for a couple minutes, then said, “Why he talk like a girl?” Out of the mouth of babes…..

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  9. First of all, gaydar? Really?! A waste of money to be sure. What business does the government have in trying to identify gays? Why are they so concerned with who has poopy dick, is Obama looking for a new DL partner, after all black males are not gay they are just on the “down low”.

    And AWD, I have a couple of gay friends that wouldn’t fit on your list. They don’t own cats, don’t talk with lisps, and are all republicans. Republicans are supposed to be the party of limited government, personal responsibility and freedom…. So why do most conservatives rip on a gay persons sexual preference?? Isn’t it their free choice? I think that when you rip on gays like that, while funny, can only serve to keep the gay vote on the democrat side of the isle. Thanks for the laughs though.

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    • Semper Fi, lighten up. Just having a little fun after talking politics all week. By the way, this page is not a recruitment page for the Republican Party.

      awd

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  10. SPURWING PLOVER says:

    I wonder where the gay thugs fron ACT-UP are right now? They need to be comming under a RICO invesigation

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  11. Gotcha. But I was just trying to make, what I thought, was a valid defense of the people whose lifestyle you were having fun, I’m not without a sense of humor, and found what you said to be funny, I wasn’t trying to rip on you for saying anything, and I sure as shit wasn’t trying to recruit for the repubs. Sorry you didn’t like the fact that I shared my perspective, I will try not to let it happen again, I mean God forbid someone has an opinion slightly different than the people who post on here. That must make me a tight ass troll, right, I should lighten up and ignore the bull shit my gay friends go through every day, being shunned by friends, family, and most of society, and the ONLY people who stand in defense of their freedom is the G@d damn democrats. I used to think this site was a place for conservatives and independents to talk all things politics, but Its clear now only if AWD agrees with what you say, otherwise you just need to lighten up?! F-ck that you can have your site.

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  12. Semper Fi………

    It’s a dead give away when you see some guy walk-dancing down the street in a pink thong swinging his meat all the way down the street to the tune of YMCA……don’t ya think

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  13. Yes it most certainly is, I’m not challenging the content or AWD’s right to say what was said, I was just trying to get across that, while they are few, there are people out there who don’t fit the mold of fem, swish hip pansies in pink, and that while to most conservatives, it may be an oxymoron, there are gay conservatives who should feel included in the conservative community not made fun of or stereotyped.

    But now I’m starting to sound like the word police and I don’t want that either. I just wanted to make my point not start a confrontation. I’m sorry it devolved the way it did, just should have simply said in the first place that not all gay people are that way…. And then left it at that.

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    • I think most people here at awd understand…..we here just hate “political correctness” so much that we have at every subject and every group no matter what……….just have at them because it’s fun…..

      If your into political correctness this is not the place to be……maybe Huffington Post is better for ya…..

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    • RedStaterNYC says:

      Yeah i’ll echo bluto in that I don’t think anyone here is categorically anti-homosexual, but confines it to fags of the faggy variety. Like awd says, “i don’t care if you want to eff a snake–just don’t make it my bidness.”

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  14. MM likes cats and he’s straight – honest. I also am to the right of the Republican Party and yes , I agree that the Repubs are the Stupid Party. I continue to resist the temptation to use makeup and nail polish.

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    • RedStaterNYC says:

      Mm, I’ve known very heterosexual guys who are”cat guys”–but, in my experience, you’re an anomoly. But you’re in good company. My neighbor is a gun-toting (yes, in nyc) conservative with two kids and a smoking wife. And he’s a cat guy. Go figure!

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      • Thanks Red State NYC. I know what you mean – you’re probably right about cats. Ever notice in old movies the bad guy often has a cat. I like the picture of John Wayne. He and I have the same birthday, May 26. They show old John Wayne movies on television every May 26. I was born in 1940 so I’m older than dirt. It zips by quickly. My German-born uncle was born on the same day and year as John Wayne, May 26, 1907, a great fellow, funny as heck, heavy German accent, but was easy to understand, came to the U.S. in the early 1930s, left a hellhole, didn’t know English, could’ve been a comedian. He was also an America-firster, fire-breathing conservative, business owner, drove America-made cars. He like a lot of (legal) immigrants appreciated what freedom we have left. He died in 1980 and I still miss him…I like GunOwners.org better than the NRA. I’ll bet that gun license was tough to get in NYC.

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  15. SPURWING PLOVER says:

    KEEP ALL PETS AWAY FROM PETA,KEEP PETA AWAY FROM THE PETS

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  16. I feal safe when it comes to that Gaydar AWD. The reason being, I trap stray cats and turn them over to pest control. If it has a collar it get let go. A few years back, a grey bobcat ended up in the trap. That was a fun carry to the pest control building. It got a ride up north with the pros. They can be mean as hell as they eat fluffy up!

    Can I adopt a bobcat cub and make it my own without setting of the Gaydar?

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  17. Paul B

    F~ck off.

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    • Hey Semper Fi,

      Be smart enough to hit the reply button… don’t make me look for your response. Guess I hit a nerve with you big boy… just as I expected when you objected to AWD’s post. Apparently you’re a closet dweller because you tried to appear straight in your previous post… maybe you’re just a switch hitter and offended only part of the time, but you come here and start you’re PC crap and this group will tell you where you can get off.

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  18. Bluto

    f~ck the huff post. I prefer AWD thank you, I’m not into political correctness either, wasn’t trying to come across that way. I’m not new to this site, I’ve been stopping by for almost a year now. Don’t usually comment though, if someone doesn’t walk the line on this site dumb asses like Paul B make idiotic comments to compensate for too much anger and a lack of basic intelligence.

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    • Semper Fi…

      I know you’ve been here along time. I like your input. I wished this wouldn’t have turned it to a brouhaha between all you guys. It seems needless…you’re all great guys.

      You have a right to your opinion and you shouldn’t feel choked by others from expressing it here…at all. – I understood what you were expressing, we’ve got some gays on both sides of our families in this home…and they aren’t anything like what is displayed for all to see via the lib msm.

      Anyhow…I’ve refrained from commenting on this all day. I’m hoping the three of you work out you differences. ~ Just a wish.

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    • Semper Fi

      All of us here at awd know you are entitled to any opinion about any thing here or anywhere for that matter……..sometimes when some of us “think” we might have found a troll we go a little over board at times trying to provoke the troll…….our mistake…….Paul B is a good guy…..don’t think he meant any real harm……..

      anyhow, glad to see your with us……..we all are just trying to have some fun….and stay informed about what’s going on……..

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  19. No worries, my apologies guys.

    Thanks Bigtimer

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    • You’re more than welcome. I meant it.

      Btw…you’ve tried to smooth over things, explain where you’re coming from, apologized, which in my opinion none was needed… enough already.

      I hope what’s happened here doesn’t discourage you from stating your opinions in the future…when I said I’ve always enjoyed your input…I sincerely meant that.

      I thank Bluto also for reaching out and explaining how things can happen to all at times.

      I just read your personal story at the bottom of the page…my heart goes out to…and your brother too. ~

      ‘Nuff said. Wish him, you…and all of us well in the future.

      ‘Walk a Mile in My Moccasins’ comes to mind.

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  20. See, this is a perfect example of how the gheys cause problems. I personally don’t know any gheys. I don’t like gheys, but I don’t like cabbage either, to me they are about the same. Every where you go today it’s ghey this and ghey that. I read on Weasel Zippers earlier that Gadaffi was not after all killed by gun fire, someone shoved a bayonet up his ass. Ain’t that some shit? Go figure, it was probably because of the ghey outfits he wore all the time.

    Semper Fabulous

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  21. I own a cat… I’ve had him for a little over 5 years. And I can safely say that I’m a pretty manly Dude. I certainly prefer the Dudettes. And I fish and hunt. And own a gun, with plans to get one or two more in the near future. And I like REAL sports (football, boxing, MMA, and the like). So please… cut me some slack on owning the cat. Pretty please…

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  22. Yeah Paul

    F~ck off

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    • Soooooooo, do you dress in pink or do you prefer lavender??? Just how close do you walk to the line big boy???

      Also, are you the lady of the house, or do you do the yard work???

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  23. Paul B,

    I tried to apologize but your ignorance astounds. Bluto says you are a good guy but seriously man you’re an ass. And just so ya know there is no reply button on the mobile version of this website, just the leave a comment section, so search or not I really don’t care what you have to say or if you read what I have to say. I will say this though, if you are ever in Elko Nevada look me up, I will be more than happy to kick your ass all the way back to whatever hole you crawled out of. Closet dweller?! Really? That’s cleaver, did it take you all day to come up with that one? It’s not the first time I’ve been called shit for standing up for my friends and family, and I’m sure it won’t be the last. My brother was put into a coma because somebody thought it would be cool to beat up on the gay kid, and in their drunken fury they didn’t realize they took their beating too far. My brother is 90% deaf in both ears now, the price he paid because some ignorant jack ass like you decided to make fun of him in front of his buddies and group mentality took over and went too far.
    As to me walking the line, pal, I wish I could, just so my brother would know how much I really do support him, even when and where it might not be popular. You don’t know a damn thing about me.

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    • Semper Fi,

      You also do not know anything about me. I’m sorry your brother was attacked and has lasting injuries from the hands of those who would be hateful enough to attack him… something I do not condone. I don’t think anyone here would have responded in a negative way if you would have informed us about your brother. I think however, that everyone reading AWD’s post knew it was strictly humor on this site, and in my opinion you were just downright rude in your remarks… but that is just my opinion.

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    • Semper Fi, I am sorry your brother was on the receiving end of violence. I think you realize many of my posts are sarcastic and mocking, sometimes over-the-top and not always serious. If you’ve read this page for a while, you know I have NEVER called for violence against gays and never will. I tease them from time to time but that’s all it is….kidding.

      Everyone will get their toes stepped on from time to time on this page. We are outspoken and loud. This particular post was not funny to you because of your brother. I understand and I apologize if you or your brother was offended. I just was tired about writing about politics and saw something that I thought would be a little humorous.

      I wish you and Paul would let it drop. Paul wants to defend my post and you were offended because of your brother. I value the opinions that you both share here. None of us will agree all of the time and I’ve seen these little spats crop up between dudes and dudettes many times over the years. Just understand that everything AWD writes is serious. If you’ve noticed, nobody gets out alive around here. Again, I apologize if you were offended.

      awd

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      • It’s finished AWD. Guess I just have a favorite few around this site… and yes, I do try to take their side on occasions.

        Hey Semper Fi, you have my apology if you will accept it.

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  24. Point AWD tried to make was gov’t wasting money, as usual ,on something that is idiotic ,and, useless. They wouldn’t have to go far to find some gays to study,start at the top and work all the way to msnbc!

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  25. AWD, yes I am aware that many of your posts are sarcastic, and funny. I am sorry this got so out of hand, and maybe Paul B is correct in saying that I should have said something about my brother in the first place, but I didn’t want to out my brother on this site because he stops by here just as often as I do. It is a daily conversation for us to discuss what we read on AWD. As to me being offended, I was not, not really, it’s not the first time somebody thought I was a troll, or that I thought somebody was a troll, and I’m sure it will not be the last.

    Paul B, dude apology accepted, no hard feelings on my end. Trust me I hate PC as much as the next guy, for me though, this is a very difficult area to figure out. I’m sorry I wasn’t up front with my brothers situation.

    Bro, I hope if you see this, that I didn’t embarrass you. You know I have thin skin when it comes to defending you and your lifestyle. I didn’t want to make this about you at all, and still I managed to drag you into it. I just got so pissed and upset that I aired your laundry for everybody on this site. I really hope you miss this post, an don’t have to read any of it, but if you do, give me a call. Love and miss ya bro.

    As Paul B said, It is finished.

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    • Semper Fi,

      I’m still new to this site compared to say Bigtimer and some others, but I consider myself a regular here and always enjoy reading the thoughts of other individuals as I generally come away each day learning something I didn’t know. I’ve read your post a few times and have commented positive with what you had to say, but when I read your thoughts about the site and that nobody could now post without AWD’s approval, it just rubbed me wrong. Once again I apologize to you because I was totally out of line with what I said… please be part of what I consider an outstanding group of people… I’ll look forward to seeing you here and reading what you have to say… enough said.

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  26. Humility can help people forgive each others differences. Forcing one’s opinion on onother is a form of mental rape. Discussing our differences with a kind heart will make peace a lot easier.

    AWD’s mascot, John Goodman’s character from the movie The Big Lebowski, should tell all you need to know.

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  27. Frank Rizzolio says:

    The Cat thing really hurts man. How about poodle instead. You should see my cats run when Im shooting birds out back.

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  28. TiminKuwait says:

    I have a step brother that is a fag. He’s been with his fag boyfriend for about 12 years now. One day he and his homocrapian are down visiting his dad. I’m in the living room wiring up a new sound system I bought my mom and step dad. Get it all done and switch on the TV. As usual, nothing good was on.

    That was when the peterpuffer piped up and said, “There never is anything good on and we don’t watch much….except Golden Girls. Oh yes we love Golden Girls reruns.”

    I had to get up and leave the house out of respect for my stepdad!!

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  29. Ambassador Chris Stevens was gay.He was sacrificed on the altar of Obama’s reelection effort.

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