Is there nothing the federal government won’t spend our money on? Congress cannot not spend our damn money! Dims and Republicans these days would spend $1 billion to watch an elephant hump a tree. Why? It’s not THEIR money! No wonder we’re $16 trillion (and rapidly growing) in debt!
Now we learn the government spent $30,000 to study….I crap you negative….gaydar! Gaydar (for all you breeders out there) is when one homo-sexule can identify another homo-sexule just by looking at them. For $30 large, do you know how much gun-dar AWD could enjoy?
AWD is pretty perceptive all by my lonesome and without a government subsidy. I have all kinds of “dars” working here. First, I have black-dar. I can pretty much 100% of the time tell when someone is black. Same with cracka-dar. I can tell without fail a cracka…even from a distance. And I have a pretty keenly developed sense of chink-dar where I can identify Asians. It’s not that hard, just look for the crashed vehicle causing the traffic jam.
But gay-dar? For $30,000? Sheee-ut! It’s not that difficult to pick out a poofter. Like AWD’s angry white brother says:
“Those you suspect the most, usually are.”
And damn if he isn’t right with that little piece of info! The Big Sexy could have saved taxpayers the $30,000 by providing for free these tell-tale signs of homo-sexules. You can usually tell a cat is a “sensitive guy” if:
- he owns a cat
- uses words like “fabulous” and “marvelous” incessantly
- has strands from his pillow caught in his teeth
- has a strong working knowledge of beauty products
- reads “mens magazines” such as GQ and Esquire
- hangs out in Chicago bath houses and has a body man named Reggie Love
- is a Democrat
- describes certain foods as something “to die for”
And you can pretty much tell a womern is a lebanese if she:
- looks like a man
- wears flannel shirts
- is a completely miserable, mean human being
- is a Democrat
I know some of this scientific sh*t might be a little difficult for some of you goat ropers to understand. So the Big Sexy is going to light a candle rather than curse your darkness. While it may be difficult for the untrained eye, AWD is going to show you photos of a homo-sexule man followed by a photo of a hetero-sexule man
Some of the subtle hints you might look for are the lipstick, painted fingernails, and makeup on this fellow. Yes, I think it’s pretty clear. This is a Democrat.
Here is a photo of a heterosexual man:
This man is in possession of a firearm. A good sign for hetero-sexules. Also a good sign for men that don’t take any guff from Mezcans.
There! put $30 grand in your pocket! AWD rests his case! This is just another example of government pouring money into studies that are worthless and don’t do any good! But at least this worthless study went to a study on gay humans. I’m surprised the government didn’t spend $30k or more on gaydar in Siamese salamanders!
Like AWD said, I’m gifted. I have all these dars naturally. But I’m pleased to share these tips with you dudes and dudettes. I’m beginning my graduate-level studies of animal-dar. So far, I’m pretty advanced in the field of dog-dar and cat-dar. Like I said, it’s a gift. Hell, maybe I can get a grant!
Here’s the link to prove AWD didn’t make this sh*t up!
Here’s another expert in the field of gay-dar. He’s also the King of Country Western Troubadours. It’s Unknown Hinson (named after his father on his birth certificate) singing “Your Man Is Gay.” He’s also a scientist.