Self-professed slut and female Democrat icon Sandra Fluke, who became known for demanding the American taxpayer pay for her birth control because she has a lot of sex, made a campaign stop yesterday to share her charms for Obama in Reno, Nevada. The event was held in a parking lot of the local Sak-n-Save grocery store attended by only 10 people.
Fluke and her fellow-Democrats with the morals of drunk Mezcans became incensed when Fluke was called a “slut” by Rush Limbaugh after her appearance at a Congressional committee hearing where she made the demand for taxpayer-paid birth control and admitted thousands of troops had marched through the gates.
While yesterday’s turnout was dismal, the attendees left satisfied after hearing inspiring words from Fluke. She said:
“I’m trying to do everything I can…and I mean EVERYTHING…for an election that I feel is very important. I have a unique opportunity for how I get to do that. So after this event, I will use my well-used talents to help continue President Obama’s vision of hope and change over in that van across the parking lot. I want all of you behind me!” b
Campaign event attendee Richard Long said:
“I just was going to the Sak-n-Save to pick up some beer for the 49’ers game when I saw a small crowd gather. I thought it was a fight so I went over to check it out. Some guy told me that there was some slut who was going to sleep with everyone who listened to her speech and said they’d vote for Obama…so I said, “Hell yeah!”
Asked if Ms. Fluke’s services will alter his vote in the election, Mr. Long said:
“Look…I’m horny, not stupid! I just wanted to get laid, not end up broke living in a socialist country. Yeah, I screwed Sandra Fluke…I mean, who hasn’t? But screw Obama! Ain’t no way I’m voting for that clown!”
Truck driver Mike Koch said after exiting the rear of the 1972 EconoVan where Fluke had just performed her Get Out The Vote services said:
“I have to hand it to them Democrats! They really have taken campaigning to a new level. Maybe they could get more than 10 people to show up if they could get one of those hot Hollywood liberal babes to show up and Fluke us! I mean, that Eva Longoria could draw a crowd…and I wouldn’t mind wearing her little stupid, liberal ass for a hat, but it was nice to spend a little time with Sandra. It wasn’t a bad experience. I just believe a lot of voters had already cast their ballot with Sandra long before I got there!”
Also appearing at the campaign event was none other than former President Bill Clinton. He said to a reporter while climbing out of the van:
“I have been a fan of Sandra Fluke for some time. But, I did not have sex with that slut…err…woman, Ms. Fluke. I did stop by the van after the campaign event where she gave me a very long oral argument on the penal code, if you know what I mean. Luckily, I had stopped by the local cigar store beside the Pik-n-Poke…I mean Sak-n-Save…and Ms. Fluke did enjoy learning how to improperly use a cigar!”
Sandra Fluke has become a hero to slutty, liberal women across America. She is scheduled to speak and have sex in Carson City tomorrow. Reportedly, 12 homeless men are already waiting for her appearance, two more people than attended her event today. The NY Times reported:
“Sandra Fluke’s support of President Obama is paying off. Her enthusiasm is resulting in crowds at her campaign events growing by 20% each day!”
While Fluke was not satisfied by the turnout of only ten people, she can take pride that her crowd exceeded that of President Obama in Ohio by four people.
In other news, conservative women are foolishly stating they don’t need the government to pay for their birth control and are not Flukes! Teabagging racists! Here is a group of so-called Women Warriors flapping their gums about self-reliance or some other foolish, antiquated belief!
If only some of those babes cared as much as Sandra! Yeah, baby!! You can visit their website at Woman Warrior.