AWD hates Geraldo Rivera. Geraldo (scientific name: geraldus assholius doucherous) is a douche nozzle of the first order. Remember when he got bashed by a chair in the nose on his stupid TV show in the 80’s? I loved that. Probably the greatest thing I’ve ever seen on TV. Possibly my life.
Also, remember when Geraldo was packing some lame little peashooter wheel gun on his gay little hip when bin Laden was supposedly holed up in some cave in Afghanistan? Rivera said he’d shoot bin Laden if he saw him. AWD was pulling for Osama bin Laden! Funny true story, the soldiers over there hated Rivera so bad that they’d wipe their hands in their butts before shaking hands with Geraldo to pass along molecular particles of assular bacteria! Bwahahaha!
Now Geraldo has brought his douche baggery to a new low level! With tens of thousands of his fellow New Yorkers freezing and without power after Hurricane Sandy, here is what Geraldo posted on Twitter today. I crap you negative!
“1st morning off since storm- scrambling to find generator to save my Koi fish in pond-“
Now, I know what you goat ropers are saying! You’re saying “what in the hell is a @#*&ing koi, AWD?” Well, it’s nothing more than a metrosexual carp! A stupid, ugly, bottom-feeder with a few licks of makeup. Just like Geraldo! Here’s a photo of them ugly suckers:
I hope his Tweet serves as an announcement to NY’s hungry that the Rivera domicile has lots of fancified, faggy fish ready for immediate consumption! And I hope somebody eats every damn one of them sumbitches in front of Geraldo and his big homo mustache while he weeps softly into his tissue!
Hey, Geraldo, maybe there’s a generator hiding for you in Al Capone’s secret room! Douche bag! Next thing, he’ll be complaining he’s out of tampons!
Amazing the difference between conservatives and liberals when it comes to natural disasters. Conservatives band together and help the less fortunate. Greedy libtards buy up all the generators so their gay fish don’t suffer! I imagine Geraldo doesn’t live in a small place. Wonder how many unfortunates he’s allowed to sleep or rest at his house. What am I thinking? He’s too busy petting his precious koi! Who has time for the suffering masses he normally weeps for…as long as someone else takes care of them! After Hurricane Katrina, Geraldo was saddened by the destruction of his favorite beignet restaurant in the French Quarter! He cares. He really cares.
But the Big Sexy cares even more! That’s why AWD is posting Tex Wasabi’s Koi Fish Tacos Recipe for all the starving masses in New York City. If it’s me, I’m frying up a few them suckers and having me a big ol’ fish sammich! And, hey, I heard there’s a whole pool full of them colorful bastids at one douche tard Geraldo Rivera’s crib! It’s located on the koi-keeping side of town! You know, the side of town where the males do a lot of moisturizing. Hell, you “sensitive guys” can probably gorge yourself on koi while rummaging through Geraldo’s extensive collection of lavendar-scented bubble baths and emollients! (AWD had to look up how to spell emollients)
Nothing like that damn Geraldo Rivera to harsh the Big Sexy’s mellow over here! So he’s being awarded the lowly Libtard of the Week award. Geraldo’s such a douche he should have his own award named after him. The Koi Gay Mustache Douche Bag Award! I hate that guy and his fag fish! Bon apetit, New Yorkers!