AWD was just perusing the net web after a full weekend of slaying evil jihadist deer in the woods of north Texas and came across a few photos of the type that every male who ever wants to reel in the biscuit with a young lovely should avoid taking at any cost. Even at the threat of being made to covert to Islam or getting your head-bone disconnected from your neck bone or taking a photo like this….better to end up on Youtube with your melon sitting on your chest! At least your relatives can say you went out a hero rather than a poofter-looking girly man. (Warning, these are quite painful)
Great googly moogly that’s gay! I’m sure those two Obama voters love them some puppies and all but they couldn’t look more effeminate if they were photographed giving Barry Manilow a wash, set, and manicure after whipping up a marvelous souffle…in the nude…with Elton John looking on.
Before AWD became a supa-famous international blogging sensation, the Big Sexy used to have a bunch of employees he managed when he was just a regular cat working for the man (who held me down!). We’d have an annual meeting some damn where every year and all the management types and their lowly employees subordinates would attend. The company would hand out a company logo shirt and take a group photo of all the attendees together on the last day of the meetings wearing the stupid shirt. AWD would instruct his lowly surrogates, “every year some damn body will wear his stupid logo shirt tomorrow instead of the last day when he’s supposed to wear it. Don’t be that guy! If you wear the stupid logo shirt tomorrow, I will hunt you, I will find you, and I will kill you.” It’s the same with photos like this:
Now, I know some of you dudes on AWD have a cat for some reason or another. So I’m going to try and tread lightly here. I don’t really know why you have a cat unless you’ve run out of targets….but to each his own. Just know, if I ever get my meat hooks on a photo of any of y’all like Lance above, I will terrorize your ass forever by posting it every damn where I can find on the net web!
Holy bejeezus! That’s just pitiful. Maybe he’s old and has something wrong with him…like being a liberal (which pretty much goes without saying) or something. Or maybe he was just cold and wanted that fat bastid cat to warm him up by the way he’s cuddling up to that thing. But look at the expression on that cat’s face. Looks like he just crapped all over the old liberal. I’m telling ya, that cat is evil, man. Evil!
If I haven’t made my point yet, just check out this last one:
This is just so wrong on so many levels. First, unless you’re a Dale Earnhardt fan or live in Aynor, South Carolina, it’s time to lose that mullet, junior. If you do live in Aynor and are an Ironhead fan with a mullet, you’re probably the mayor! Also time to trash those Members Only jackets, too! You look like Ahmadinejad for heaven’s sake! Actually, that guy in the photo looks like a guy who would torture and kill cats. So ladies, stay the hell away from him! I’m pretty sure that won’t be a problem.
To all my pet-loving friends, it’s just hard to look manly taking a photo holding an animal…unless the animal is dead and has antlers and you’ve just shot it. Now, you could tie little antlers on a dead cat but it really wouldn’t fool anyone…except your fellow libtards. Now, maybe you’re not interested in attention from curvy fillies. If that’s the case, then you’re probably reading the wrong blog or have already been banned from commenting for being an obnoxious libtard. But a good AWD rule of thumb is this: when it comes to taking cute little photos of you lovingly holding your pets….DON’T BE THAT GUY! You’ll thank the Big Sexy later. I crap you negative.
Now, if you’re hell-bent on taking a photo of you holding something sweet and don’t have a Hooters girl stashed away somewhere….it is perfectly acceptable to take photos with your weapons. Unless you’re a wigger and look like this:
If you are a wigger who wants to make stupid photos with guns, then please follow the actions of this guy because you’re a disgrace to the race, Homes.
Hell, best advice here is don’t be any of these guys! Because if you are, there’s a great chance you will spend a lifetime holding your own…if you know what AWD means!
OPEN POST TIME. Feel free to send the AWD any gay pictures of yourself and your pet. Or you can keep discussing boring ol’ politics! You’re choice.
Music That Doesn’t Suck tonight is my favorite tune from one Steve Miller. Probably the only tune from Steve Miller I really like. I never cared too much for Steve…even though he’s from Texas…but this is one badass song and I never get tired of it. Here’s Serenade from some damn album that was released some damn year. And I never figured out what that “pompatoose of love” thing was. So there, Steve!