It’s time all you goat ropers stop clinging to your evil Wilson Combat .45’s and Weatherby .300’s! This crime wave has gone too far and must stop! Luckily, AWD has come to the rescue based upon the example set by Worcester, Massachusetts. I’m going to have myself a little ol’ gun buy-back program and you’re all invited!
According to the Daily Caller:
Citizens can anonymously turn in ”unloaded and wrapped in a bag” semi-automatic firearms, handguns or long guns in exchange for a flu shot and a Wegman’s gift certificate for $75, $50 or $25 respectively. The police department also welcomes residents to turn in non-operable guns, live ammunition and firearm accessories, although no incentive is offered for those items.
Now, AWD calls bullsh*t on turning in any guns that don’t work! Might as well turn in a rock! But I will accept any unfired ammo. I also will accept knives and flashlights. Love me some flashlights! As long as they work!
To stop crime, AWD will accept your crime-committing guns no questions asked. If you turn in a gun, you’ll receive the following:
- 1911 .45 ACP – one genuine sexy AWD t shirt guaranteed to get your ass laid and a bottle of Hai Karate after shave
- .22 or .32 handgun – a bottle of lavendar-scented bubble bath and a box of tampons
- .270, .308 or 30-06 by Ruger, Winchester, Remington – two AWD t shirts and whatever change AWD has in his pocket.
- AR-15 or M4 – three AWD t shirts, $25, and the personal cell phone number of Janine Turner
- Glock handgun – two AWD t shirts and “Dude of the Week” status on Angry White Dude.com
- Weatherby .257 or .300 – three AWD t shirts, Dude of the Week status and a date with Janine Turner!
As you can see, AWD is serious about stopping crime in America! Who wants a gay gift card to Wal Mart or a flu shot when you can sport your own supa-sexy AWD t shirt and run around town with Janine Turner on your arm? (Disclaimer: date with Janine Turner subject to my talking her into going out with a redneck, goat-roping redneck like yourself….which is doubtful, junior)
The city of Worcester says that over 2200 guns have been turned in since the program started in 2002. AWD figures I can easily double that number, build my arsenal and get rid of a boatload of AWD t shirts that you cheap bastids aren’t buying!
AWD is all about stopping violent gun crime….and building my personal arsenal at the same time! So all you
stupid idiots fine citizens just bring your evil guns down here to Dallas so AWD can dispose of them properly into my gun safe. Just think of all the lives you’ll be saving!
I think Worcester, Massachusetts is somewhere near Boston. Only yankees could fall for something as stupid as to give their guns away for a flu shot they could get for free down at the clinic!