Know what you get when you cross Yoko Ono and a pig? Nothing. There are some things even a pig won’t do.
One of the world’s most annoying and irrelevant little bugs, Yoko Ono, has raised her little ugly head again. So annoying is that little grandmama-san that John Lennon actually thanked the gunman. In Japanese, ‘Yoko Ono’ translates to ‘annoying, irrelevant little yellow bug.’
Yoko’s clothing line is so awful and gay, to even consider wearing it a cat would have to overdose on gay-influencing practices for years, if not decades. I’m talking major gay wow factor! I’m talking about cruel torture practices as having to watch The View and Ellen shows daily, being forced to moisturize while attending a Feng Shui (or however the hell you spell it) decorating class with the NYC Male Chorus, or having to take rose petal bubble baths to the soothing, wafting sounds of Kenny G, or taking a quilt you knitted to be unveiled at Worlds AIDS Day, and worse. If there is anything worse. Oh yeah, there is. You’d have to also be a Democrat.
There are a couple of rules AWD has for his clothing ensem. Don’t wear anything you can’t picture the Duke in. Start with the feet. Boots. Preferably cowboy boots but AWD has some Blundstones that are some of my favorite casual boots. Jeans on the weekend and hunting hogs. And not poofter jeans you have to go to a jean boutique to buy. Any jeans found at WalMart and you’re wearing AWD regular guy wear. An AWD t shirt tops off that weekend wear perfectly. For a suit (like any of you goat ropers has a suit!), it will be regular suit colors like gray, blue, black, or olive. Oh, and if the colors of any of your shirts are named “mocha, tangerine, tart, or cranberry, you’re probably already a homo and don’t need any help from Yoko Ono, junior. Oh, and no jewelry except a watch and a wedding ring. Once my ex-wife and I met Tom Brokaw in NYC. He was wearing a bracelet. I crap you negative. But, of course, he’s a Democrat. My ex suggested AWD get a bracelet. I divorced her. Oh, the only other jewelry item that is acceptable for a man to wear is a Glock or his preferred sidearm.
Think the Big Sexy is making this sh*t up about Yoko Ono’s Homo-Wear? Check this out.
I think those pants are made with a genuine hand-print of Barney Frank. I guess they’d go well at the NYC St. Patrick’s Gay Day parade. Anyone who wears pants like that ought to have the print of a boot on their ass, too!
Here’s more pieces of Poofter-Wear:
Just consider the white dots on Lance on the left-hand side as bulls-eyes. Good lord! I’m just glad AWD’s daddy isn’t alive to see this mess.
Oh yeah, there’s more!
That’s racist! Is that a bra? For a male? Note to Yoko: men don’t need bras. Except Michael Moore.
It gets worse!
This sh*t makes the rest of Yoko’s stuff look like Brooks Brothers! The inscription below the ringers says “”Ring for your mommy piece y.o. 69-12,.” That don’t even make sense! She is a Japanese, you know. I’d prefer Poofter-Boy puts the ringers on his chin and nose. Better targets.
You’ll love this!
Perfect for casual gay Fridays in the office! With pants like that, you’re going to have some pain in your butt. Where AWD lives, you’re getting your ass kicked. Where people would wear pants like that, it’s going to be worse for your ass! Much worse!
Can you picture the Duke in these:
Neither can I! I only wish Sean Penn wasn’t alive to see all this! Or Alec Baldwin. Or Robin Williams. Or George Clooney. Or…
Any dude that would wear boots like that would be bellying up to the bar slamming down a nice, frothy ice cappuccino or wine spritzer with a Perrier chaser before attending his local Moveon.org meeting. And the bar wouldn’t have a Ladies Night, either.
Yoko Ono needs to give up clothing design and go back to annoying the world every ten years or so. Her clothing line isn’t going over so well. When asked about his opinion on Yoko’s clothing, Elton John said:
“Man, only a fag would wear that sh*t!”
Rule of thumb for all you young guys who haven’t yet fully developed your sense of clothing style. First of all, don’t read any so-called mens fashion magazines. They’re run by males trying to be women. If you think you can learn about being a man from reading a fashion magazine, you’re doing it wrong. Just follow AWDs instructions and you’ll be reeling in the biscuit with babes your entire life. Womerns don’t want to be with wussified, gay little peacocks…unless they’re Democrats. In that case, they probably are lebanese, anyway. Just look to manly icons like Ronald Reagan, John Wayne, Unknown Hinson, and AWD. We’ll shoot you straight when it comes to manly wear. And you won’t end up being a Democrat. Or biting pillows.
Since we’re talking about you young fellers finding yourselves some young lovelies, you might want to write yourself a number one chart-topping hit in addition to dressing in manly clothing!