AWD was just kicked back in the Captain’s chair perusing the interweb net when it occurred to me that the world is going to end this Friday. Dayum! That sure snuck up on me. I was going to change the oil.

I started thinking about all the things I didn’t get the chance to do. Like run a marathon or become an expert calligrapher. Or take that course on decorating. You know…Feng Shui, man. Of course, y’all know I’m sh*tting you. AWD wouldn’t run to get out of the way of a train. And the only thing I know about decorating is army cots, ammo boxes and Hooters calendars will tie any room together nicely. When it comes to decorating my crib, AWD ain’t going to listen to a bunch of mini-van-crashing Chinese varmints!

What I’m wondering about is should I shave tomorrow and Thursday? I mean, I’m pretty sure Friday is the day but I can’t be really sure. I hate to go out looking like George Michael. Or, worse yet, not going out and still looking like George Michael! I hate shaving and normally don’t on the weekends unless I’m going to see my parole officer. One damn thing I do know is AWD is paying no bills before Saturday! Evil 1%’er corporations! THAT’S RIGHT! SUCK ON THAT AT&T, YOU BASTIDS! I could have bought a iHouse for what I pay for them damn iPhones every month! And I am happy to inform you I exceeded my data plan this month, too! BWAHAHAHAHA!

It’s kind of weird thinking Friday is the big day. Regrets? I’ve had a few. But, then again, too damn few to mention. I like to think I have lived a funky life and have been more free than most. I have laughed a lot, cried a little, done some sh*t that would turn you white, but pretty much lived a regular, good, conservative life. My kids are the world’s best and I love their guts. I guess I regret not finding the little filly until I was a little longer in the tooth.

Being supa-sexy and having a monster-sized unit has not always been as easy as you might think. But I’ve learned to deal with it.

So what are your plans for Friday? Are you going to shave? Ladies, don’t answer that. I hope you’re not going to spend your last hour watching The View. I would recommend more wholesome activities like a Chuck Norris marathon and listening to Kiss Alive.

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26 Comments

  1. SPURWING PLOVER says:

    The new Four Horsemen are GOVERMENT,ENVIROMENTALISM,LIBERALISM,SOCIALISM,

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  2. Lefty Mongtard says:

    I’m going to sit at my comrade chairman Hussein shrine and drink kool-aid on Friday. The immaculate messiah Hussein will smote the end of days with his magic scepter! Ummmm umm yes we can!

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  3. Quartier LeBlanc says:

    To hell with shaving, you probably shouldn’t even change your underwear.

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  4. anotherangrywhitedude says:

    I am going to stay home because I will be laughing too hard when the world doesn’t end…again. The Mayans couldn’t predict the end of their own civilization, yet we are to believe they predicted the end of the world? Lame.

    AWD, as for shaving…we are all sexy bastids so it wouldn’t matter either way. Shaving or not will never change that. Can I get an amen, fellas?

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  5. Crap, you sent me scurrying to my calendar to confirm doomsday was Friday. Now I have to put out the trash for Thursday pickup. Now exactly what time on Friday does the world end?? How the hell do the Mayans know. They did not have watches, or did they? An old Fossil was recently found in Mayaville and the hands were stopped at 8:00 PM. This means that I can light up a bid ol stogy and pour a glass of Garrison Brothers whiskey, have dinner before the world ends. Question AWD, is it gonna hurt?

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  6. I thought I was the only one who didn’t shave on the weekends???

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  7. SPURWING PLOVER says:

    A meteor will smash into SAN FRANCISCO and annialate the entire bay area

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  8. Damn the world would have to end on Friday, why not Monday? I hate Mondays!

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  9. Dang! I just paid most of our monthly bills the last ten days, have one more major one due Friday…to pay or not to pay, that is the question! ๐Ÿ˜‰

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  10. SPURWING PLOVER says:

    MERRY CHRISTMAS MR POTTER

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  11. I havn’t shaved in a few months, or cut my hair for that matter. Why start now? I’m gonna get up, go to the job, pay my part for the welfare state, and then enjoy my 5 day weekend. I’ve taken 2 deer thus far this year, hoping I can add to the count this weekend. Been chewing on my homemade buck jerky this morning, tasty stuff.

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  12. Any Fine Filly’s that think the men in their lives haven’t been swinging the ‘ol Sex Bat and hitting home runs, now have the opportunity for an appointment with me, Waspish the Doctor of Love, between now and the end of the world on Friday.

    Satisfaction guaranteed.

    If for some unseen reason the World does not end Friday I will provide a full refund, minus a 20% re-stock fee

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  13. And I just got new ceramic brake pads for the truck. No worry, they came with a lifetime guarantee!

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  14. Are you gonna listen to some whacked out savages whose only contribution was a f***ing calender that was in secounds? Not minutes, hours or days but secounds.

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  15. Awesome. That means I don’t have to pay property taxes or Christmas shop.

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  16. The wifey’s birthday is tomorrow, but she is out of town until Saturday. So if I’m to trust the mayans, in theory I could get away with not getting her a present……

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  17. The free world as we knew it ended in Nov when millions of assholes voted for the messiah. We can look forward to 4 more years of government control and bullshit thanks to the give me a free hand out crowd. The Obama loving pukes should be the first ones to die if there is an apocalypse. By the way Lucky 13…ceramic doesnt burn so youre good to go….LoL

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  18. I woke this morning to find the Mayan prediction had come true. Everyone and everything had been destroyed and replaced with an exact duplicate.

    (Credit to Steven Wright)

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  19. Still here. I found this to be rather…interesting…

    Coldest Week Since 1938 Kills 45 Across Russia

    http://sweetness-light.com/arc.....NTaC9ljOt9

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