I know, I know, we just ran this post back in December. But you know AWD is all about safety and preventing gun deaths. I am particularly all about relieving you of your expensive, quality firearms for the chance of going out with Janine Turner (which will never, ever happen). But hey, you play the lottery, don’t you?

AWD is re-opening my gun buy-back program now that even crappy guns are selling at huge premiums. Just think how happy your moisturizing libtard neighbor will be to see you turn in that AR-15 to AWD. Why he’ll be as giddy as a little schoolgirl! It’s time we have a conversation about guns on this blog. And that conversation should be about giving AWD your guns!

It’s time all you goat ropers stop clinging to your evil Wilson Combat .45’s and Weatherby .300’s! This crime wave has gone too far and must stop! Luckily, AWD has come to the rescue based upon the example set by Worcester, Massachusetts. I’m going to have myself a little ol’ gun buy-back program and you’re all invited!

According to the Daily Caller:

Citizens can anonymously turn in ”unloaded and wrapped in a bag” semi-automatic firearms, handguns or long guns in exchange for a flu shot and a Wegman’s gift certificate for $75, $50 or $25 respectively. The police department also welcomes residents to turn in non-operable guns, live ammunition and firearm accessories, although no incentive is offered for those items.

Now, AWD calls bullsh*t on turning in any guns that don’t work! Might as well turn in a rock! But I will accept any unfired ammo. I also will accept knives and flashlights. Love me some flashlights! As long as they work!

To stop crime, AWD will accept your crime-committing guns no questions asked. If you turn in a gun, you’ll receive the following:

  • 1911 .45 ACP – one genuine sexy AWD t shirt guaranteed to get your ass laid and a bottle of Hai Karate after shave
  • .22 or .32 handgun – a bottle of lavendar-scented bubble bath and a box of tampons
  • .270, .308 or 30-06 by Ruger, Winchester, Remington – two AWD t shirts and whatever change AWD has in his pocket.
  • AR-15 or M4 – three AWD t shirts, $25, and the personal cell phone number of Janine Turner
  • Glock handgun – two AWD t shirts and “Dude of the Week” status on Angry White
  • Weatherby .257 or .300 – three AWD t shirts, Dude of the Week status and a date with Janine Turner!

As you can see, AWD is serious about stopping crime in America!  Who wants a gay gift card to Wal Mart or a flu shot when you can sport your own supa-sexy AWD t shirt and run around town with Janine Turner on your arm?  (Disclaimer:  date with Janine Turner subject to my talking her into going out with a redneck, goat-roping redneck like yourself….which is doubtful, junior)

The city of Worcester says that over 2200 guns have been turned in since the program started in 2002.  AWD figures I can easily double that number, build my arsenal and get rid of a boatload of AWD t shirts that you cheap bastids aren’t buying!

AWD is all about stopping violent gun crime….and building my personal arsenal at the same time!  So all you stupid idiots fine citizens just bring your evil guns down here to Dallas so AWD can dispose of them properly into my gun safe.  Just think of all the lives you’ll be saving!

I think Worcester, Massachusetts is somewhere near Boston.  It’s some damn where near that bastion of libtarded Yankee-dom. Only yankees could fall for something as stupid as to give their guns away for a flu shot they could get for free down at the clinic!

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  1. I don’t know why I didn’t think of the gun turn in program to stop violence. Its just sooooo simple, 1. Offer a cheap incentive to turn in guns, 2. All the criminals will just line up to get their incentive. 3. Now no more criminals have guns. If we just do the same thing for autos, hammers, knives, bows, baseball bats,
    sticks, rocks, etc., voila – no move deaths at all.
    Lets get on with the next problem, that one was so easy to solve.


    Liberals only do GUY BUY BACKS so they can go around feeling all warm and fuzzy inside and so they can appear of GOOM MORNING AMERICA,TODAY,CBS SUNDAY MORNING,20/20,NIGHTLINE,DATELINE NBC,CBS MORNING NEWS,60 MINUTES or some liberal leftists talk show where they can stand in front of the cameras and gush and slush about how wonderful they feel becuase most all liberals are all mouth and no mind

  3. Check this out. ~

    Oops…helps if I put the link here. 😉

  4. FuriousFatMan says:

    all I have left is a couple shotguns. sold my ar-15 a few months ago so I could buy a truck.

    first thing I thought after Sandyhook… “Why the f**k did I sell my gun?”


    i’ll never get it back now.


    • Don’t worry man you can kill more people with a truck than a gun, and claim it was an accident. And when you get out of jail for involuntary man slaughter, you can buy another truck.

      However you will still be restricted from owning a gun.

      • FuriousFatMan says:

        it’s just a little 90’s ranger. that should lower the body count a bit. she is push button 4×4 w/ low range! means the buggers wont bog me down!


  5. I’d rather have my guns confiscated by the Fedzilla than turn them in for a gift card. I’ll eat dirt before I sell any more guns.

  6. How about a 338 winMag with letupold var-x scope sited in for 500 with ammo?

    To send some love from long distance, use the very best!

    Blistered, out!

  7. You can trade guns for flu shots in Massachusetts, for sports event tickets somewhere else, I forget where. Keep the gun, pay for the flu shot. Sickening manipulation of the naive, isn’t it ? When Australia stupidly confiscated and melted down guns, they also melted law-abiding citizen resistance to criminal activity. The thugs have continued to run wild there in what is now one of the world’s largest gun-free zones. Liberals are taking advantage of mass stupidity in their zealous gun-grabbing efforts in the wake of a tragedy.
    “The only no-compromise gun lobby in D.C.” – Rep. Ron Paul (R-Texas)
    The NRA? Nope, Gun Owners of America. The NRA will make a deal with liberals. will stand its ground. Ron Paul’s toll-free message number is 1-888-322-1414.

  8. Pingback: Could this Scandal bring Obama down? | BLOGGING IOWADAWG STYLE

  9. Rocktets red glare says:

    A little self serving AWD, but easy on the Yankee stuff, because Im on YOUR side brother….!

    But hell I hear ya, Im gonna get me a shirt dammit!

  10. Rocktets red glare says:

    Per Chrime stats in Chicago, if you have a gun that was involved in a felony, turn it in for cash, no questions asked. No ballistic checks.

    Cops are outraged by this, at least some of these weapons could solve a murder, just sayin……..

    • Hell…they already did the same thing in New Jersey not that long ago. – Issues you raise were first and foremost on my mind as well. Plus, you have to wonder how many of those that are turned in aren’t kept for some that work there own grift..if ya know what I mean.

  11. Rocktets red glare says:

    Just askin, know what a throw away in Chitcago is?

    Just askin.

    • I’ve always understood it was a gun not connected by any trail to the carrier that could be planted on the victim of a ‘Mistake’ shooting.

  12. You didn’t mention what one gets for turning in a .380 Bersa, or a Mossberg 500. What are you giving out in exchange for those?