After being named to the Fabulous 50 conservative blogs, conservative superstar blogger Angry White Dude made a shocking confession today. The Big Sexy uses blog-enhancing drugs. His announcement was inspired by bicyclist Lance Armstrong’s confession that he is a drug-taking, lying, skinny dog!

Lance Armstrong has for years denied taking performance enhancing drugs. However, Armstrong was banned for life and all eternity from riding a bike after the chief bicycling organization in the world, “The Chief Bicycling Organization in the World” found him guilty of doping to win his unprecedented seven Tour deeeee France victories! Armstrong’s penalties included not wearing those gay little bike-riding costumes, not being able to clog up traffic on a bike, not being allowed to put playing cards in the spokes, and not having the uncomfortable sensation of having those skinny little bike seats going up the culo.

World famous and supa-sexy blogger Angry White Dude has long been accused by fellow conservative bloggers of using blog-enhancing drugs to write his chart-topping blog posts. He has always responded when asked how he is able to continually write such high-quality blogs by saying, “it’s a gift!” But today, he came clean with a startling revelation for his supa-sexy blogging abilities. In a prepared statement, the Big Sexy said:

“While AWD’s rise to the top of the conservative blogging world has been nothing short of miraculous, I must confess that I have not done it on natural talent alone. I have had help achieving my super-sexiness and ability to write top-quality right-wing extremism day in and day out. I can no longer go on in good conscience taking credit on my blogging talent alone so I will share my secrets.

Before posting a new blog article, AWD slathers himself with copious amounts of Hai Karate after-shave to help achieve the highest levels of supa-sexiness. After which, the Big Sexy puts some Teddy Pendergrass on the stereo to further enhance the moment. After achieving a trance-like state of sexiness, AWD puts on his leopard-spot robe (you better believe it’s all silk, baybah) and meditates until I achieve a super-human level of super-sexiness. Coupled with my natural redneck, right-wing, trailer-trash, inbred (according to libtards) opinions, AWD is able to create chart-topper after chart-topper posts which has put him on the top of the blogging world. So AWD confesses today before Allah and the world that AWD uses various blog-enhancing tools to enhance his otherwise super-groovy blog posts.”

But AWD was not finished. He outed several conservative bloggers for using blog-enhancing drugs and techniques:

“AWD knows for a fact that Big Fur Hat, Mr. Pinko, and Cardigan also use something to help them with their creativity at I Own The World. Since they are yankees, they’re probably using all manner of drugs. I’m not sure what it is, but those I Own The World guys are definitely on something! Probably smoking the diggity-dang or drinking copious amounts of Wild Turkey!

And the Gateway Pundit? Don’t get me started! Jim Hoft is on every blog-enhancing drug known to man! Oh sure, he plays Mr. Innocent and all….but nobody writes that well day in and day out! It’s time to come clean, Jim!”

There! AWD feels much better now! It’s not that AWD has tried to fool anyone! But, face it, can any one blogger be this sexy and good on a daily basis and write chart-topping content without help? But it’s not my fault! AWD is a victim of his own sexiness. Womerns and sexy fillies expect top performance from AWD day in and day out. I didn’t choose this supa-sexiness for myself! It was thrust upon me! I’m a victim! I’m not responsible!

Let’s face it, nobody wants to read boring blog posts, so AWD will continue to use his blog-enhancing, supa-sexy blogging techniques! If people want to read boring blogs, they’d read Little Gay Footballs or something.

Here is one of the Teddy songs AWD prefers to achieve top levels of sexiness (sexy alert):

Sexy, baybah!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *



  1. Who the hell is Jim Hoft and where is he from? AWD is the one

  2. Oh the humanity.

  3. Rockets red glare says:

    AWD, are there not more serious issues? I mean, take this damn laser bore sight I just received via our great postal service. After hours of dialing in the “eye” on this jewel, using precision gage pins as a sort of feeler gage, I carefully stuffed it into the receiver and slowly engaged the bolt.

    What did I see? A direct reflection of the 1:7 twist of the inside of the barrel shadowing on the cardboard.

    Now this bore sight may not be in the same league as others I’ve read about due to the fact that when I pulled it out, it took a direct high velocity hit to the first hard surface (concrete) I could find.
    The end cap and batteries did not come apart, and honestly thats saying alot.

    So, I plan to set it up at fifty yards to help dial my new scope in.
    And when it is in several pieces, I think I may send it back with A kind note thanking the manufacturer for their fine product in helping me sight things in.

    Oh. By the way, made in China M+!?:r F”@?$=g Ba$?=@$s.


  4. Here is a way that Obama could confiscate guns:

    Back in 1933 President FDR banned the private ownership of guns:

    “FDR’s gold confiscations in April 1933 and thereafter carried with it severe fines and jail terms for the non-compliant. The political assault on “hoarding” criminalized an innocent and efficient means of holding one’s wholly legitimate possessions. It’s true that hoarding typically occurs amid fears of potential seizure or other political mistreatment; see for example today’s huge cash hoards and the reluctance to lend or invest.”


    What is say that Obama does not do something similar except he replaces gold with guns. Keep in mind that if a private citizen legally owns guns then he is registered into a government system. Therefore the government has a potential blacklist to enforce gun laws. Now, what if the government did not confiscate guns through force, which would cause a rebellion, they go for gun owners finances instead. For example, suppose a AR-15 costs $1,500.00 and its owner is a registered gun owner. The federal government could then charge the owner of the gun any where between $3,000.00 to $5,000.00 via wage and bank account garnishments, or leans on their real estate. They would have people by the financial balls. Once they turned the guns over all fines would cease to exist.

    • Keep in mind that the BATF is an arm of the president’s Treasury department, which controls the IRS, and they control taxation and penalties for not paying said taxes.

    • Damn shame about Teddy’s car wreck. It’s funny, the older I get, the less I’m interested in pop music. I listen to classical, or talk radio these days. Even the Allman Brothers are starting to bore me.

      And on another note, even if they lose on this new gun grab thing, they are never going to give up, never.


    And lets not forget how the BATFE has come under criticism for its nazis gastapo tactics against innocent gun owning americans just like hitlers own SS goons and the NBPP is obamas BROWNSHIRTS

  6. Rockets red glare says:

    Ok, back to serious stuff.

    I read alot, and I admit I am a real time alternative news junky.

    Not Conspiracy junk, the news that is pushed by the MSM propaganda in conjuction with the crap Jay Carney and the reverends are beginning to come forth and spew. Real honest people stuff. News the MSM corporate
    Propagandist David above the law meet the press Gregory (fag) keep hidden.

    Truth is my good brothers and sisters, regardless of what you may see on TV or read in the communist press, there are more of us than them.
    As the communists push their ideology over the airwaves, there is US!
    They see a perfect storm to push their agenda, with truly all the stars and planets aligned in their favor.

    One problem. The vast majority can see thru this crap, and see clearly thru the lies and deciet. From both sides of the aisle.

    I personally knew what we would be up against 35 years ago, I’m from the Chitcago area. I will never forget my Grandfather telling my union thug uncle, why would you fight and hate your employer, at the time, Bethleham Steel?..

    Union thugs back in those days were straight up communists. The hate and anger they spewed was more than retorech , many people were beatin and killed. Disagree with their jive, you got your ass beat.

    Its called solidarity.

    The spawn that came out of this runs DC now. But, I digress.

    Right before the Bill ayers, Bernadine Dorn, Frank marshall davis gave us first Hillary Clinton, then Obbumer, I read a book titled Culture of corruption, Michelle Malkin. I grew up in this!

    Read that book, then read and study the scripture of the Progressive commy left:
    Saul Alinskey rules for radicals.
    Read the Cloward Piven act and understand their intent was/is, its come to fruition.

    There is a Sheriff in Kentucky, who recently declared that regardless of what the current regime, Holder and Obumer say about guns and our second amendment, it will not be valid due to his sworn oath to uphold the Constitution. He represents the people, and has more authority than any fed agency. ANY FED AGENCY.

    States, especially in the south and South west are preparing their giant foam middle finger for gun running Holder and Obummer. If the States and Sherrifs hold their ground, and just one single Governer would enact a state wide militia, not the national guard, the Tyranny would be put in check.

    I say let the NY, Detroit, California, Chicago, reap what you sow.
    Go straight to hell and leave the rest of us alone, and we refuse to bail you out, collapse and go to hell.

    I thank AWD for allowing me to rant on his dime, you all are some very fine people.

    Time is short, I beg and pray that all of you God fearing people watch one movie together in groups and have an open debate.

    Agenda: Grinding America Down.

    God Bless our kids, and God Bless YOU!

  7. Mr. Mittens says:

    AP Wire
    Dallas TX.

    “The Big Sexy uses blog-enhancing drugs.”

    Inside sources say it’s Cat Nip.

    And public record shows that last night the paramedics were called to “The Big Sexy’s” residence were he was allegedly found, buck nekkid on the kitchen floor of his upscale crib, lapping milk from a saucer.

    He was subsequently taken to a hospital, and a fur ball was removed from his throat. He is recovering in ICU and said to be in good spirits.

    Doctor Frisky El Gato said he has seen an alarming rise in the number of cases involving “Cat Nip” abuse within the Blogging Community.

    • Mr. Mittens, be prepared to receive a strongly worded letter from my attorney! There ARE such things as HIPAA privacy laws, sir!


      • Sorry Dude every time I leave the computer on that darn cat causes trouble.

        He scooted out the backdoor and across the field as soon as he heard you Lawyered up, it will be hard to serve him with a summons now.

  8. Okinawa Marine says:

    Hey AWD….I once wrote in a blog while consuming a bottle of Budwiser. Does this put me in the “Enhanced” category? But, I was wearing Converse All-Star Chuck Taylor shoes, does that help? I dont know whether or not to turn my self in to the authorities, or to go on the Oprah Win-a-free show!

  9. Just like Lance, big sexy, that takes BALL! Get it?!?

    Blistered, out!

  10. I will piss in AWD’s over-sized cup any day.

    I did not have sex with that girl… oh wrong accusation?

    Am I fired?

  11. I only had one glass of beer – honest….

  12. Mr Pinko, back to your bong with the others at IOTW!


  13. really enraged says:

    Damn! Been missing all this alternative good stuff for too long. The price of being a stupid old fart, I guess. Now bookmarked.

  14. I know for a fact the bloggers on ThePeoplesCube are up to their eyeballs in beet vodka.

  15. Three other people on blog-enhancing brain modifiers are Frank J, Harvey and Basil at IMAO.


  16. I did not inhale