What? Don’t imams have clocks in Islam? Don’t imams wear watches? Doesn’t anybody over there have an hour glass or something? Maybe a sun dial, you miserable savages? What is it with those fuzzy little varmints over there in Allah land? Every day AWD hears from some bass-ackward Muslim leader flapping his pie-hole about the “ushering in of the 12th Imam” and how he will destroy America and Israel, the Great and Little Satans! Well, I wish the 12th Imam would hurry up and usher his slow ass into action…I’m getting sick and tired of waiting around! Let’s go, 12th Imam…meter’s running, ya ig’nant bastid!

Today, another savage little fuzzball Muslim leader in robes said Joooos will be exterminated when the 12th Imam returns. Yeah, yeah, yeah, tell somebody that believes in your stupid hocus pocus, Hadji! Last week, it was Syria that was going to spur the return. Before that, it was some other middle east hellhole that was going to spur the return of the 12th Imam! Before that, it was Muslim womerns wearing western clothing that was going to spur the return!

Know what I think? I think this 12th Imam cat is lost! He’s as lost as a woman trying to remember where she parked her car at the mall. Or maybe he’s on a two-month drunk or something! Hell, he could be following the NASCAR circuit and got drunk as a whale poot in Talledega for all we know. Or maybe he thinks he’s the 13th Imam and is also waiting for the return of the 12th Imam. Maybe this “spurring in” of the 12th Imam is exactly what needs to happen….like sticking a spur in his butt to get his lazy ass out of bed and return, for heaven’s sake!

You know, Muslims don’t appear to be very bright. You can’t be bright and believe all the sh*t they believe. Let’s face it, anyone who can be made to believe that by blowing themselves up and killing innocent people will win them 72 virgins in heaven isn’t going to cure cancer anytime soon. Also, I mean, let’s face it…does anyone really want 72 virgins anyway? Maybe a few would do to spice things up but, for the Big Sexy, I like my womerns a tad on the trashy side, baybah. So I have a great idea to calm things down in the wacky world of Islam! All we have to do is slip in a fake 12th Imam…it’s not like they have a picture of him….to get those terrorizing sumbitches to settle down over there. Or get those camel-humping cavedwellers laid. With a woman. For once.

The fake 12th Imam would have to be good…we need to put some careful thought into this…somebody that really plays the part of the 12th Imam well. No, not Michael Moore. Those Arab whack jobs might think they’re being attacked by Jabba the Hutt. Aha! I’ve got it! The Iron Sheik! Yes! It has to be the Iron Sheik! He’s perfect. He’s from Iran and speaks that godawful savage language nobody can understand…he’s just the fake 12th Imam we need!

So here’s the plan. We parachute the Sheik with a bull horn into Tehran saying “All right all you camel humpers..I’m the 12th Imam and I have finally returned…late as hell…but I have returned nonetheless and I am pissed!” There would be massive confusion and those terrorist bastids would be crapping their burqas! Then we have the Sheik say something like:

“Verily, I say unto you diaper-heads, Allah has told me to get my ass down here and settle you mutts down! Allah said if y’all blow up one more person or thing, there ain’t gonna be NO virgins…or trashy womerns either…waiting for you up in paradise! In fact, Allah says he’s a Pentacostal these days so just cut out all that terrorism BS and start handling some poisonous snakes!”

I’m telling you right now, AWD ought to be running the CIA! I’d have those camel humpers running around in circles! How does the AWD continually do it? It’s a gift.

So, real 12th Imam, just stay wherever the hell you are! If you’re laid up with a bunch of infield NASCAR sluts in Talledega..just stay there! We’re tired of waiting around for your slow ass! You had us, you lost us! And we don’t need no stinkin’ 12th Imam around anyway. We have the Iron Sheik!

Maybe they can have a big ol’ Return Of The 12th Imam party and do the holy Dance Of The 1000 Imams!

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  1. Sounds like a hell of an idea to me.

  2. Figures, the 12th Imam would be a wrassler.


    Do they make left turns, or right turns?

  3. You know whats funny? I did a Bing search on ‘paid trolls’ and all the results were about ‘Right Wing Trolls.’ No bias there. I guess the Left doesn’t pay their trolls.

  4. AWD
    Just read on weasel zippers that islam doesent approve of wraslin, muslims are not allowed to do sports that might hurt them, suicide vest are ok since thats not a sport.

  5. OK all you rug pilots, camel jockeys, and allah lovers – FOAD ! I think we white people should declare war on your towel heads – maybe get you those 72 virgins a little quicker.. By the way will it be 72 virgin towel heads ?? If so – no thank you – they be some ugly skanks- and they probably wouldn’t know what soap is ! Take all your imams and other rag head losers and just FOAD !

  6. The 12th imam can’t come up from the well until there is total chaos ,Valerie went over and explained to them that O was working hard to get him to come out,but, had to take a break . Be patient AWD ,Syria and Jorden want to get in on this event!


    A few rounds of RAY STEVENS song AHAB THE AHRAB

  8. Genius, AWD! It just might work!

    Wait, what does the Angry White Imam have to say about this?

  9. “You know, Muslims don’t appear to be very bright. You can’t be bright and believe all the sh*t they believe.”

    It’s all the inbreeding!

  10. Mr. Grumpus says:

    Ah very very good, we make large boom for allah! Like kaboom! And then we feast on dates and bread and drink from the slurpee machine!

  11. AWD,
    GREAT site!
    As a sometime AWD myself–who happens to have a PhD in Islamic history and tracks Islamic beliefs about the 12th Imam and the Sunni Mahdi–I thought you might be interested in my website:
    Keep up the good work!

  12. Speaking of 12th Imam (sort of), anyone else watching “Homeland”?

  13. Mr. Grumpus says:

    Yes Redstater, I’ve see all the Homeland episodes. I was pretty content with it until Carrie told Naseer that he was perverting the teachings of the prophet, as if a white girl from America understands the Quran and Sunna better than a practicing muslim.

  14. Mr. Grumpus says:

    Sorry about that Redstater, still very good show anyway. Sometimes I rant and forget the spoiler alert. That tidbit shouldn’t spoil much for you though.

  15. Mr. Grumpus says:

    Redstater, since I’ve got your attention for a moment, what’s with all the lefties posing as conservatives at American Thinker lately? I notice you hang out there a good bit as do I. I’ve read more garbage comments in the last 2 weeks than the last 2 years put together.

    • Yo! I actually don’t visit American Thinker much these days (not for any reason other than that life is short and reading is long). I think you must have my mixed up with someone else.

      As for the bevy of trolls over there, I have to guess some of American Thinker’s more un-PC articles (which seem to be popping up with more and more frequency over there, much to their credit) have probably attracted the attention of the $PLC/Media Matters/Daily KOS brownshirts. I know AmRen has been cross-posting some of their articles lately as well, which may have served as a conduit for the cockroaches.

      In any event, I hope they’re not too overrun. May have to institute a system of moderation to weed out the flak.

  16. The 12th I-Man was in reality the late Johnny Carson, who turned down the job because he refused to wear a towel wrapped around his head.
    Ed McMan would have had to introduce Johnny as, “HERE”S the 12th IMAN!”

  17. Mr. Grumpus says:

    I think you must be right. The dead giveaway goes like this: I’m as conservative as they get, but we should limit guns to six bullets per magazine.
    It’s almost as if there’s a troll brigade that swarms to destroy or mislead the discussion of new ideas.

  18. Grey Mobius says:

    I really think the root of the ‘72 ever-renewing virgins’ thing is that the Muslims have an overwhelming, morbid fear of comparison.

    On another note: There is a Koranic scholar named Christoph Luxenberg who discovered that the Koran was mistranslated from Syro-Aramaic instead of Arabic [or visa versa – I can’t remember which] and the meaning of the ‘72 ever-renewing virgins’ is more correctly translated as ‘a bowl of white raisins of crystal clarity’. These fanatics are blasting themselves into pâté for what amounts to a handful of dried snack fruits! Imagine their surprise when they get to Hell – ‘I died for what?!’

  19. Cinnamon Girl says:

    Perhaps Al Gore is the 12th Imam:

  20. Fed Up Texan says:

    Who wee the first eleven Iman turds?

  21. There’s a chart of them here, if you’re interested:

  22. Perfect place to throw in this ~

  23. OT – boener reelected speaker. The final insult by the rinos.

    NOW is it ok to discuss a third party? Or is there still a belief that the gop can be corrected through voting?

    • We only have one party system.Democrats and Democrats who call themselves Republicans.

      • Easier just to call them all progressives. I feel bad for the few that don’t fit in with the progressives. These are the ones fighting for freedom from government control.

  24. Shock Radio says:

    Why the Punjabi / Sikh dance video? Surely you don’t think Islam and Sikhism are even slightly related. Turbans? Is that it?

    Love the AWD site, BTW.

  25. Food for thought……….

    In the coming New Year, 2013, both Groundhog Day and the State of the Union address will occur on the same day. This is an ironic juxtaposition of events. One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to an insignificant creature of little intelligence for prognostication.

    The other involves a groundhog.


  26. everything about 12th imam in