No-no-no-no-no-no-no noooo!

Have you seen the Eddie Money Geico commercial? He owns a travel agency and the family wants tickets for a vacation. He can only sing his song “Two Tickets To Paradise.” If you can call that singing! Holy mother of crack pipes! What the hell was that! This is one of the most painful commercials to watch in the history of painful commercials! It took me a few weeks to recover from the shock after seeing Eddie Money in this:

Maybe Eddie has turned into a Muslim and wants to go to Paradise to get his 72 singing lessons. Or 72 doobies. Maybe he’s trying to melt our infidel faces with his putrid singing. I’d rather have two tickets to Detroilet than two to Paradise if I have to listen to Eddie Money sing anyore!

When AWD first saw this spot, I thought it featured Laverne from Laverne and Shirley….after being on a three week drunk! I thought, damn, that Laverne sure is looking bad these days. And why is she singing an Eddie Money song? Than it hit me….great googly moogly! That sumbitch ain’t Laverne, it’s Eddie Money! He looks worse than Penny Marshall! If that’s even possible!

I’ve seen and heard passed-out drunks singing karaoke better than Eddie in this commercial singing his own damn song! “Pack-ur bags and deeve anight.” This commercial sure makes me want to pack up my bags and put them in the Volkswagen microbus and follow the Eddie Money Rehab tour across the country. I could see all the bowling alleys I’ve always longed to see!

Disclaimer. After seeing this commercial a few times and recovering from the shock, I looked up Eddie Money to see if he had a stroke or was mentally retarded or something. I obviously didn’t want to criticize him if he had some medical or mental problem. But nope. He’s as fit as Michael Moore! Reports say Eddie ate a lot of drugs over the years and that’s why he looks like a severely drunk and retarded Penny Marshall. And sings worse!

Geico, have you no decency? Did you not realize Eddie Money looks like an old, drunk Penny Marshall and scares children before airing this commercial? And what about the American people? We’ve suffered through that little Englishter lizard bastid for three or four generations now. Then you have a politically correct pig flying on a plane. Now you hit us with this? Haven’t we suffered enough, Geico?

To top this attack off on the aural and visual senses, the commercial ends with two metrosexuals (translation: homosexuals in a metro) playing bad bluegrass and being gay, goofy, and stupid. Just like all metrosexuals. All this terrorizing of my life by a damn car insurance company! It’s enough to make me go out and buy a minivan and crash into everything like a Chinese driver!

This isn’t really a male-bashing commercial. It’s a crack-smoker/retarded person-bashing commercial. If anyone is interested, you can see Eddie Money on the current Rehab Tour. He’ll be performing August 17th at Chub’s Bait Shack on Lake Texoma. In the back parking lot. Beside the minnow tank.

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115 Comments

  1. Jeffrey Plude says:

    Me again, it’s confirmed that he did have a stroke about 40 years ago. Well he’s getting old. I still don’t agree with their policy. Refer to my last post.

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  2. Jeffrey Plude says:

    And I don’t understand why people think that this is FUNNY!!! DUH!!

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  3. Jeffrey Plude says:

    GET A LIFE!!

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  4. We should’ve known something was fundamentally off with Money years ago when he penned the lyric: “I got a hunger / It’s a hunger.” That line from Take Me Home Tonight told me all I needed to know about the amount of coke this guy was doing and this stupid commercial only confirms it.

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  5. Brian jewell says:

    I just laughed my ass off! My 6 year old son thought I was going have a Eddie Money stroke! I couldn’t stop, best belly, crying laughing I’ve done in about a year! Holy crack pipes! Shirley! Etc., So yeah, I took this article as poking fun and written by someone like me! So come on people, don’t be so sensitive, go get laid and laugh ALOT as much as you can in these messed up times! And remember, Eddie Money got PAID for this! I’m sure the man owns a damn mirror AND has a manager, and knows how bad he sounds! So lighten up and laugh your ass off, life truly IS SHORT! And thankyou to the author for giving the best laugh I’ve had in quite awhile!!! B.

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  6. Jeffrey Plude says:

    I don’t know about his cocaine usage. But tom I the connection between the song “TAKE ME HOME TONITE” with him and Ronnie Spectre and an inference to cocaine usage????? Just don’t see it!

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  7. Jeffrey Plude says:

    I meant I don’t see the connection. Sorry.

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  8. I think it’s all a lighthearted addle-brained spoof and pretty funny to boot.

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  9. It could be that he has had a stroke or other health issue causing an impediment w certain consonants, in which case, it is bold for him to do this. The fact Geico airs it, poor taste, unless EM likes it.

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  10. rockinbadboy says:

    Did some shows with the man and he’s a great guy! Fun to party with too! We must still be doing something right to get paid what we do, and to be able make fun of oneself is where you are missing the point! Isn’t that what comedians do? Jealousy will get you nowhere people. LOL!
    Rock on!

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    • rockinbadboy, I must say that post will not die! I’ve had tons of hate mail from Eddie Money fans for writing it. Maybe Geico will let me do a commercial with Eddie to settle this once and for all!

      awd

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  11. Holy Hell is right! WTF

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  12. This article is absolutely the funniest. By the way, I agree with it. What the hell happened to Eddie Money. Try lip-synching.

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  13. Plude. You are a real f***ing moron. The dude was poking fun at himself! The commercial wasn’t meant to be serious. You need a hug and a hobby.

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  14. Jeffrey Plude says:

    Hey Campbell, did you forget how to spell that special word or something?????

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  15. Wow- his voice sucked! Sadsy

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  16. If I partied as hard as Eddie has since 1977, there’s no way I’d even be upright. Why are you rocking on the guy who is still doing his thing after 45 years? Come on brother, he’s putting up a personal best you could never hope to achieve and you’re complaining? Have some respect man.

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  17. I ran across this website as I was googling to see if Eddie DID have a stroke or something…….

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  18. I’m going with AWD on this one. I too, came across this article looking for stroke information. And making fun of himself or not, (he can’t be THAT ggod an actor) I also find it painful to watch. God bless him for still standing upright. But, I have to wonder what kind of dope it took to make that possible. I’d like to remember him in a diffrent light. The pig doesn’t bother me. Or the flying on a broom witch. Thats funny to me. I am so sick of this comercial that I hit the mute button and turn my head. Go climb a tree, Geico. This is gross.

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  19. LMAO!! I was searching to see what was wrong with Eddie money after I saw that commercial when I found this! I would have bet money he had a stroke!

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  20. This whole thing had me rolling!! They are actually running that commercial in the ground! Whenever I see it now, all I can think is, “Would it have hurt them to throw in a little background music?” I’m sure if they did he wouldn’t have sounded THAT bad and it would have drownded out his voice a bit. Better for us all…

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  21. f….k off eddie kicks ass, and dont mess with detroit you moron

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  22. William Siemon says:

    The guy can’t sing, he’s ugly. I dont like watching 50% of my TV’s depreciation wasted on commercials as it is. But crap like this should qualify for a partial refund from the cable companies, as well as from the electric utilities.
    Non-program content has ruined television.

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  23. William Siemon says:

    GEICO is an acronym for ‘Government Employees Insurance Company’ which as run was determined to be illegal by the government, back around the 1960’s.

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  24. this page stands for everything that’s wrong with the internet. some fat turd living with his mom gets to pretend to be a journalist and completely degrades a guy who could be someone’s grandfather. he’s 60-something years old! They can’t all age like mick jagger…i personally thought the ad was funny. get a life awd.

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  25. just seen eddie money in concert,doesnt sound like he does in commercial.excellent concert

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  26. The commercial sucks and so does Geico. I have to wonder if they wanted him to sound a bit off on purpose as all their commercials have a “funny” element to them. Hate on Geico all day long, but stop hatin on Eddie 😉

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  27. Obviously Eddie Money does not take himself too seriously. Congratulations to him for poking a little fun at himself and making such a hilarious commercial!

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  28. Never cared much for EM’s songs, but love this commercial! I wish they’d bring back the one with Peter Frampton in it too!

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  29. William Siemon says:

    Incidentally, ‘GEICO’ is an acronym for ‘GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEES INSURANCE COMPANY’. The government ruled against their only doing business with government employees in the 1960’s.

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  30. Hey i have seen Eddie Money in concert 5 times in the last few years he has not had a stroke and is still very much a concert draw He and his band sound great and the song he co- wrote One More Soldier Coming Home is awesome. So for the haters it is what it is but Eddie Money sounds better now then he did when I saw him in the 80’s. Feel free to contact me me at wstrom721@omcast.net if you choose to do so. As a musician and someone who managed the #1 rock club in the South Jersey/Philly area from 1979 till 1990 I believe I have some top rate knowledge in this area.

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  31. Pingback: HEY ANTI-SMOKING COMMERCIAL LADY! YOU'RE MAKING ME SICK OVER HERE! | Angry White Dude

  32. Bill Graham says:

    The comercial was tongue in cheek. It flew over the heads of a couple of these posters. There are ALWAYS critics that mouth off when the truth is they can’t (and would not be allowed) to carry this guy’s guitar case….He was (and is) a true rocker. He also had the sense and good taste to bring Ronnie Spector back to the limelight.. I laugh when i read some of these posters attempt to put a coherent & relevant thought to paper…Frantically waving their arms trying to be noticed by the world…sad really…

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  33. All I can say is, TIME is a lousy beautician………….

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  34. THOMAS GRUBER says:

    WHYS DOES EVERYONE KNOCK ON EDDIE FOR? 1ST OFF TELL ME ONE THUGGA WUGGA WHOEVER STARTED VIDEOS ON MTV, NO THUGGA WUGGA THERE 2ND HE IS A 80’S ICON, 3RD HE SUPPORTS INTREPID FALLEN HERO FUND,4TH HE GIVES BACK TO KIDS WHO ARE IN HOSPITALS, 5TH GOES TO SCHOOLS TO HELP KIDS IN MUSIC, AND 6TH GAVE YOU THE BEST DAMN SONGS EVER PLAYED ON ANY RADIO STATION, I’M A FAN FOR LIFE SINCE I WAS 10, SHUT YOUR MOUTH I DON’T SEE YOUR ASS SINGING I’M PROUD OF HIM FOR WHO HE IS, UNTIL YOU’VE BEEN THROUGH WHAT HE HAS SHUT YOUR C***HOLE AND DEAL WITH IT, HE IS A 80’S ICON, F***STICK RETARDED COMPUTER FREAK, YOU PROBABLY DON’T KNOW THE WORDS, SO EDDIE, THIS GUY NEEDS HELP HE LISTENS TO SESAME STREET HE FORGOT TO MENTION THAT..RETARDED F***STICKS!!!!!

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    • Thomas Gruber, 7th DO YOU ALWAYS TYPE IN CAPITAL LETTERS? “Pack jur bags we’ll deeve toniiiiiite!”

      Thomas, in honor of you and Eddie Money, I’m going to repost that article today!

      awd

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  35. oblivious you people dont get it…its a jooooke…I saw him i concert in October..and his singing..as always was great !!! the commer ial..is a joke…its supposed to sound funny..you fools…lmao

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    • But the way the geniuses at Geico portrayed the ad was no laughing matter…it wasn’t funny in the least. – Or don’t you get that?

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  36. In Junior High I saw Eddie Money, Santana and Babies (I think that was their name, their singer went solo in the 80’s). When I saw the commercial my mouth felt like I dropped to the floor! He sounded horrible, like some really bad drunk trying to sing a great song. I had to rewind and watch it many times to believe it was really him! I hadn’t heard anything about on in forever so I thought he had a stroke or been in some kind of accident that caused brain damaged. I just looked him up finally after hearing the song on the radio and much to my surprise zero reports of anything wrong with except a long history of drug use which will cause brain damage and vocal cords age and if a singer does not work with vocal coaches and use all the special tones exercises they have to go through and the sprays, teas and other throat and vocal cord products they will permanently damage their vocal cords. I talked to an old friend who plays different backup instruments for recording and ours for rock bands. He toured with Eddie three times and said he never saw him do vocal warm ups or use any products or teas and was told by a back up singer if he didn’t do all those things he would damage his cords and to quit smoke cigarets. He just laughed and said never to me I’m a rock god and will sing as good on my deathbed as I have from the start. He said everyone rolled their eyes and my friend said to the group as they were walking out that karma is bitch, we will all see as he ages and they all agreed. I see he is touring, that commercial sure wont help sell any tickets! I wouldn’t pay a penny to go to his concerts now! Saw Def Leppard my favorite and they all look and sound great! In a few months I’m going to se Ozzy. He still sounds great, I saw him last tour!

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