FORE, B*TCH!

FORE, B*TCH!

WHERE IT ALL BEGAN!

WHERE IT ALL BEGAN!

It appears spoiled, greedy 1%’er golfer Phil Mickelson doesn’t want to pay his fair share of taxes anymore! Mickelson said yesterday that he’s considering leaving Mexifornia because he’ll now pay over 60% of his earnings in taxes. Hey Mickelson, you didn’t win those four major golf championships! Somebody else did! Now pay up, sucka! Those greedy rich! When will the ever just pay their fair share!

Mickelson’s greed reminds me of our favorite Katrina looter who made good from President Obama’s social programs that took him from a lowly looter to the PGA Champion!

Remember our favorite looter from Hurricane Katrina in Chocolate City? The one photographed stealing the bucket of Heineken beer? In a true showing of American can-do, hard-working spirit, the looter has won the PGA tournament held at Hazeltine Golf Course in Minnesota! How did he achieve such a great feat? After looting the liquor store, he went on to loot a golf store of clubs, balls, shoes and, most importantly, threads! He then took advantage of a free, “teach a looter to golf” program for low income people at the local municipal golf course. The rest is history! Mr. Looter was a natural at the game and qualified for the PGA tour on the Affirmative Action program for low income minorities installed by the PGA in 2008. His winning score at Hazeltine was actually 187 strokes more than the last place contestant but, due to his minority status, his score was handicapped into the winning score!

Tiger Woods, a vocal opponent to the PGA’s “Let Looters Play on the Tour” program said:

“This is a travesty to those of us who have truly earned a spot on the tour through hard work, practice and dedication. To award the trophy to Mr. Looter simply because of the color of his skin goes against American principles of fairness.” Un-named sources said Mr. Woods was angry because it is believed Mr. Looter stole Mr. Wood’s Rolex in the dressing room.

In the spirit of sharing success, President Obama said:

“This is a great example of what one can do if the rules are broken and the individual is given preferential treatment. The America I believe in recognizes equal outcome to reward lower levels of performance. Anyway, Mr. Woods has won enough and needs to spread his trophies around.”

Mr. Looter shows this type of success is possible only in America! America, where one is put ahead of the line of achievers because of the pigment in their skin. Mr. Looter is pleased with his new found career and said, “All this attention can be distracting but I can’t wait to get to Augusta and steal all that white people sh*t down there. The thought of all the stuff I can haul away from Augusta?….Negro please!” Mr. Looter says he’s happy with his win even though his putting wasn’t at the level he has come to expect. After shooting the worst round in the history of professional golf, Looter said, “Dat putting sh*t be hard because dat hole is too little. I’m gonna see if da Commissioner will give me a bigger hole…or my caddy Rev. Sharpton will be forced to call him a racist.” Hope and change, indeed.

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16 Comments

  1. Snake Oiler says:

    Lootie!!!!! I think Ray Nagin caddied for him.

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  2. Nail on the head… that is exactly how it works in PC America.

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  3. Guillermo Del Toro says:

    Well didnt you know that Tiger Woods is a cornball brother?

    Happy MLK day angry white dudes.

    lol psych

    Although since school was out, my commute to work wss nice and speedy.

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  4. SPURWING PLOVER says:

    Tiger Wood is totaly right its a travasty to have this crinimal on the course SAM SNEED is spinning in his grave and ARNOLD PALMER is hiding his face If Obama on the course wasnt bad enough. A TRAINED BIRD TO STEAL AND DROP ALL HIS BALLS INTO THE WATER HAZARD

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  5. Major rule changes in the game of golf will become effective January 1, 2013.

    This is only a preview as the complete rule book (expect 2716 pages) is being rewritten as we speak.

    Here are a few of the changes:

    Golfers with handicaps:
    – Below 10 will have their green fees increased by 35%.
    – Between 11 and 18 will see no increase in green fees.
    – Above 18 will get a $20 check each time they play.

    The term “gimmie” will be changed to “entitlement” and will be used as follows:
    – Handicaps below 10, no entitlements.
    – Handicaps from 11 to 17, entitlements for putter length putts.
    – Handicaps above 18, if your ball is on the green, no need to putt, just pick it up.

    These entitlements are intended to bring about fairness and, most importantly, equality in scoring.

    In addition, a Player will be limited to a maximum of one birdie or six pars in any given 18-hole round.

    Any excess must be given to those fellow players who have not yet scored a birdie or par.

    Only after all players have received a birdie or par from the player actually making the birdie or par, can that player begin to count his pars and birdies again .

    The current USGA handicap system will be used for the above purposes, but the term “net score” will be available only for scoring those players with handicaps of 18 and above.

    This is intended to “re-distribute” the success of winning by making sure that in all competitions every Player above an 18 handicap will post only “net score” against every other player’s “gross score”.

    These new Rules are intended to CHANGE the game of golf.

    Golf must be about Fairness. It should have nothing to do with ability, hard work, practice, and responsibility.

    This is the “Right thing to do.”

    So, please remember; if you shot a round of golf under par, you didn’t shoot it yourself. Someone else built that course, and someone else cut the grass so that you could play on it. Someone else built the clubs and the cart.

    You need to share with everyone and anyone who made you a successful golfer.

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  6. SPURWING PLOVER says:

    Someone needs to send a letter to the PGA for allowing this crinimal to play golf and the same for allowing OBAMA to contaminate their course

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  7. Rather unfair opinions here I would say. Who posting here knows Mickelson’s politics. It shouldn’t matter anyway, as 60+% is outrageous by any standard! IMO, if someone makes 30,000 a tear, and pays 25 % in taxes, anyone making 3,000,000 a year should pay no more than 25 %. Our tax system is totally corrupted, and unfair! He can come and live in Florida where there is no State income tax. He makes the money he does through a lot of very hard work, and a great deal of talent. Why shouldn’t he be handsomely compensated? Good for him. I was also very disappointed that he walked back his original statement, as he has absolutely nothing to be ashamed of!

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    • I totally agree he earned the money and now they are vilifying him for stating his opinion.I am upset that he bowed down to the demonizing liberal media but you know if he doesnt apologize he is screwed.

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  8. Spurwing Plover says:

    Too bad the stupid mayor and chief of police disarmed all the residents of NEW ORLEANS otherwise someone should have plugged him right between the eyes

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  9. Another person can’t take the outrageous taxes either ~

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....-fund.html

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  10. This dude sure has gotten a lot of face time on the web. Anyone know who he is? He should get picked up on Rush Limbaugh (like the ‘keep Obama in president’ lady did. Just for some shits and giggles.

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  11. The new Buffett Rule : be a publicity-seeking phony blowhard like socialist Warren – fight to minimize your own taxes while whining that you aren’t taxed enough. Phil told the truth the first time – no need to back off from objecting to income confiscation. What you say seems to count a lot more than what you actually do here in Hussein’s America 2013.

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