It’s Saturday night and AWD is preparing to head out with the little filly and throw the ol’ houlihan listening to some gooder’n hell Texas honky-tonk. So you might not hear from the Big Sexy again today.
I see that Lance Armstrong is going to finally admit he used drugs all those years when he was winning those silly little bicycle races. He’s going to make his confession to Oprah, no less! The closest Oprah has come to a bicycle is when her limo ran over a herd of those little bicycle tards clogging up the road. Either way, I kind of feel sorry for ol’ Lance. He’s lied so much and for so long he out to be in Congress. Here’s a piece written a while ago. Enjoy.
Bicyclist Lance Armstrong got himself sideways with the US Anti-Doping Agency and they stripped him of his seven Tour deeee France wins and banned him from forever again riding a bicycle. What the hell is going on here? They have an agency that keeps people from using dope? Maybe they should have an Anti-Illegal Immigration Agency! And who gives a rat if Lance took him a little dope to help him through all of the hassles of being a world-class
traffic tier-upper bicycle rider?
Doesn’t the Anti-Doping Agency realize the lifetime of pain and agony Lance Armstrong has gone through a lifetime riding bicycles? Probably not! They don’t take into account that for years Lance Armstrong had to wear those gay little bicycle costumes with those silly hats. In public, too! Those bureaucrats haven’t felt the humiliation of holding up traffic while everyone pelts you with bottles as they pass by! They don’t even try to imagine the humiliation of being in France with all those smelly, effeminate Frenchsters wearing their little gay berets and saying “oui, oui” every damn time you pass by one of those surrendering bastids on the road. Lance even lost one of his cojones which no doubt came from straddling those little stick bike seats that go right up the culo! And he’s so damn skinny from riding a bike all the time no hot, curvy womern wants anything to do with him. Those fine fillies can’t get past the gay bike costume in the first place. So hell no, those anti-doping tards haven’t taken any of that into consideration! They’d be taking dope themselves!
Sheee-up! AWD himself would be taking dope if I had to don me now that gay bicycle apparel and tool around town trying to dodge F-150s. Having to spend a month around all those fuzzy little unwashed foreigners in France would make anyone seriously consider eating a 230 grainer from ye olde .45 ACP. Unless they were a hairdresser. A man can only tolerate so much! Hasn’t Lance Armstrong suffered enough?
Now, if Lance Armstrong had been caught sneaking up and down those French mountains with a hidden Harley Davidson motor strapped on his bicycle, then I might understand them taking his Tour deeeee France wins away. If he had taken a shortcut through the woods and cut off 100 miles or so, yeah. But taking dope? After all he’s been through? They ought to give him another Tour deeee France win just for all the sh*t he’s had to put up with. And another joint, too!
Now, if the Anti-Doping Agency is looking for some real dope, they need not look any further than our current Vice President! There’s a guy they should put under the lights and ask a few questions! Then they could strip him of his title for the most stupid person ever elected to public office in history. But that is definitely one honor he’s earned!
Leave Lance alone! They’re only taking his awards away because he’s a black man!