AWD hates commercials. They’re all crass and insulting to those with intelligence (not liberals). Perpetrators of political correctness trying to sell me a product or service that insults me as a sexy, white man. Screw that!

Allstate insurance is the latest to go the PC route with it’s male-bashing tripe. Personally, AWD really hates all car insurance commercials. From Geico with it’s gay little Englishter lizard that I’d like to squash and their latest gay little offended PC piggy to Progressive with its progressive succession of feminine males to the morons selling State Farm who can’t sing singing “State Farm is there,” they all suck el grande uno!

I really hate these Allstate commercials with that big, black spokesman cat who sounds with a voice like an educated Barry White. They put his voice on top of the people in the commercial to tout how @#&*ing great Allstate car insurance is. Nothing creepier than seeing a 5 year old little white girl talking in the voice of Darth Vader educating her stupid white dad about why he should have Allstate! Or the hippy metrosexual (homosexual in a metro) telling the older white man that they really have a lot in common when they don’t. Unless the older white male is a PC douche-tard who doesn’t have a job, never will, and cannot drive! That freakazoid loser runs into the Big Sexy’s F-150 and he’s gonna need a lot more than Allstate! And ObamaCare won’t help either!

The latest insult is the wormy, mouthy white womern bragging to her wimpy boyfriend for getting a check because she hasn’t had a wreck in 6 months. Hallelujah! A woman who hasn’t wrecked in six months! Stop the presses! I bet Allstate hasn’t had to write many of those checks! Wormy, mouthy white womern probably got the check because she hasn’t driven in six months! Watch this and tell me what you think:

Tell you what AWD would do if he were “Lance the hairdresser” in this commercial. When that little filly stuck that check in my face and said “silence,” I would have ripped that @#&*ing check out of her little bony hand and eaten that sumbitch right there in the restaurant! Then I would have told her to walk her skinny ass back to the house and bake me a pie! And it better be ready by the time I get back from the gun range too!

AWD is 51 damn years old and hasn’t had a wreck since I was 16 years old! Allstate should send me a bazillion dollar check! Know why I haven’t had a wreck in all those years (I’m too lazy to do the math)? Because I don’t ride down the Dallas Central Expressway in bumper to bumper traffic putting on damn mascara and other makeup sh*t while texting a girlfriend while talking to another one on the phone! Womern drivers in Dallas are almost as bad as Chinese drivers in their mini-vans looking for a soft place to crash into! AWD likes to pull right up beside these little makeup-applying fillies and lay on my big F-150’s horn. Scares the mierda out of them! They immediately slam on the brakes thinking they’ve crossed into my lane (which would be a major-league mistake, baybah) or are about to slam into the stopped car in front of them. The lesson is: put your damn makeup on at home, not on Central, dammit! Not my fault you are a womern and have to do all that makeup sh*t! Take it up with Eve! You don’t see AWD shaving in the F-150, do you? Or shooting hogs? Or writing on his big, sexy blog? Then don’t put on your damn makeup while driving your gay little minivan 30 mph slower than the speed limit! Oh, and if you’re going to do 45 mph, get the hell out of the fast lane, toots! Chinese mini-van drivers don’t know any better as they are fuzzy little comm-a-nist foreigners who rode bicycles in Beijing all their damned, godless lives (the bastids). But there’s no excuse for American born and bred fillies to clog up the road texting on their damn cell phones while putting on some damn Mary Kay makeup! Can I get an amen, brothers?

Does Allstate really want to bet the farm on the half of the population that causes 99% of the accidents while alienating the other half who drives for decades without causing a scratch? Apparently so! Of course, young metro-homo-sexuals like Lance in the commercial are used to getting their ass whooped by their sharp-tongued womern! To grab that check out of her hands and eat that sumbitch while commanding she bake you a pie might be seen in some areas as “sexist.” But those areas would all be blue-state hellholes where they take the damn subway everywhere they go and can’t drink Big Gulps or eat salt! Or own fireamrs. It ain’t Texas! Maybe Austin. But Austin ain’t Texas!

So screw Allstate, Geico, Progressive, State Farm and all the rest of those gay little insurance companies! Giving womerns a check because they haven’t caused a 50-car pileup in 6 months is proof positive that a womern driving is akin to giving Injuns firewater! It just don’t mix!

Car insurance is stupid, anyway. It’s betting the insurance company I’ll crash my F-150 when they’re betting me I won’t. I can tell you one damn thang. AWD can drive anything with wheels on it. Parallel parking? One try, baybah! It would take a filly a month of Sundays to parallel their gay little Prius contraptions into spaces the AWD can squeeze the F-150 into with one try! That’s a scientific fact, too! Richard Petty once wept when he saw me parallel parking. That’s a true story.

Allstate ought to make a commercial about AWD! 500 billion miles driven without a scratch, baybah! I rule!

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67 Comments

  1. AWD
    I’ve had insurance with All-State for 30 yr’s and never got a check from them, never had a wreck either, the rate increase is a different story, I can say with satisfaction I sued State Farm insurance for lying to me, the case made it to the Ga Supreme Court and damn if I didn’t win, my lawyer’s phone rang off the hook for days from other law firms all over the country, it was said to be a landmark case whatever the hell that is, I received very little money but the satisfaction I got was priceless. They pissed off the wrong guy that time.

    (2)
    • We use AllState too, have for a very long time now. We’ve been nothing but satisfied on our end too. Gave up on that no-good Geico long ago, talk about nothing but thieving cheats and it was hell getting away from them etc.

      As to the commercial, I’ve seen it…I despise it. – Why do these companies have to sink that low? Heck…it’s beyond me.

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      • BT,

        38 year member of USAA [since my midshipman days]

        Honest, and fair.

        BTW, how’s the weather? Ready for a vacation?

        All the best,

        REV

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        • Howdy Rev…

          Things are fine in my neck of the woods, still winter here of course…I know your weather is what I yearn for this time of the year! 😉

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    • I like your style AWD. What I put into Google brought me here. Keep going brother!

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  2. USAA……

    need to have been in or had a parent that has served…….

    It’s an Association/Insurance company…..

    You get dividends/rebates every year.

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  3. SPURWING PLOVER says:

    Your no longer in good hands with ALSTATE, We used FIREMANS FUND and INDEPENDENT INSURENCE

    (2)
  4. Farmers Mutual here. For the house and the cars.

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  5. I hate ALL those stupid commercials, They are an insult to any sane persons’ intelligence!
    With all the mindless propaganda BS going on on the boob tube, it’s sickening to see how “herd mentality” has such a grip on Americas’ morons who consume this shit.
    I am apalled at all the mindless “reality shows” that infests TV nowdays and there’s always idiots who will watch that garbage.
    Even shows that are supposed to be science or documentaries, almost always end up having a leftist, global warming, or evil white men propaganda agenda.
    Not to mention the lies and distortions preached daily by the MSM and even FOX news.

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  6. David in SC says:

    Can’t stand all the commercials, all of them try to make white men look stupid up against some AA recipient. Hate ’em all! And most of them come out of nyc too, or some other damn lib city. Getting ready to drop cable completely and just us Netflix. Nationwide here and I hate their commercials too!

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    • All state is anti white…the point is
      negros are men w manly voices and bow to the sacred negro…

      doubt me? see whats writeen about all state at
      ANTI WHITE MEDIA

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  7. Mr. Grumpus says:

    Amen, Dude!

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  8. Mr. Grumpus says:

    I hate the commercials too Dude, but seriously, Allstate has treated me well for many years. My local agent would smack Dennis Hasebert in the eyeball socket if that’s what I required.

    (-1)
  9. DUDE, how would you like to bitch slap that guy?

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  10. For a long time I have been a powerful advocate for abolishing car insurance companies. One of the main reasons is that it protects incompetent drivers at the expense of competent drivers. For example, I do not drink any form of alcohol, but insurance, Geico, insists that I pay higher premiums for stupid people that go out and drink and drive and total other people’s property.

    With the rising cost of healthcare thanks to the Affordable Healthcare Act the cost for car insurance is going to sky rocket. Here is a video of John Stossel claiming that health insurance makes health care more expensive:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WnS96NVlMI

    I spend about $100.00 per month on insurance for my Ford F-150. If car insurance was abolished I could take that money and repair the braking system, or other things, on my truck and lessen the chance of a wreck.

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  11. SPURWING PLOVER says:

    I cant stand those GIECO ads i hate that stupid lizard.Can anyone remmeber when CAMPBELLS soup produced their MAN HANDLERS?

    (0)
  12. OK FOLKS..PUTTING THIS IN CAPS.
    BECAUSE IT IS SO ‘COSMIC’…

    A FEW MINUTES AGO I WAS AT THE GREAT

    ANTI WHITE MEDIA SITE….and who is featured? ALL STATE!!!
    FUK ALL STATE
    BOYCOTT [AND GAL COTT] ALL STATE

    visit anti white media when you have a few minutes…cheers.

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  13. SPURWING PLOVER says:

    BOYCOTT BUFFALO WILD WINGS as well tell them what they can do with their NO GUNS poloacy

    (0)
  14. Check out Horace Mann Insurance, mainly bought by teachers. They have good rates and prompt service; have been buying there for years, auto and homeowners. A hailstorm damaged our roof a few years back and they took care of a new one quickly – very nice people, didn’t even inspect it, as far as I know, just sent the bill in and they paid me back. I’ve never seen an ad from them. I would avoid whole life from any company. Yes, insurance company commercials are annoying. I usually deploy one of the great inventions, the remote control when commercials come on. Either that or I get up and walk around, usually to the kitchen or the latrine. I never sit through commercials. I’d like to see a study of the effect of people grazing the channels while commercials are on. Why subject yourself to their insults to your intelligence? Annoying ads make me avoid the products.

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  15. Insurance, betting against yourself. Mandatory insurance: the government telling you you must bet against yourself. Think of the increase in quality of living if you had all the insurance money you have spent over the years to spend on you and yours.

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  16. The whole insurance thing really is a fraud. Betting against yourself as Eek and others have said. Myself, I’ve never caused a collision in over 20 years of friving. The only times I’ve actually needed them is for when uninsured drivers run into me.

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  17. “AWD is 51 damn years old and hasn’t had a wreck since I was 16 years old!”

    Then you haven’t been trying!!!!

    (0)
    • Misterbill, like I said, the Big Sexy can drive anythang with wheels, baybah. It’s keeping all those Chinese and womern drivers off of me that’s the challenge!

      awd

      (1)
      • That happened to me once!!! LOL

        I just got through with my weekly dose of Gene Autry. No commercials!!

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      • AWD, do you know the first thing a Chinese sees when he gets on the freeway? Heehee!

        (0)
        • Tazz, I’m not sure. But I know how to blind a Chinese person…besides a blindfold of dental floss. Put a windshield in front of his face. Bwhahahaha!

          awd

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      • AWD needs to get out more in hideous traffic, engage in some road rage, ride the bumper ahead, cut someone off in traffic, play bumper cars on the expressway, live a little. I also think we should move north and drive at low speeds in the left lane when we retire. Ever notice how many cars have burned-out lights, drivers probably unaware their signals don’t work, one stoplight not working, etc. Many violators are expensive, late model vehicles, too… Cataract : a Japanese luxury car. Is it still legal to say that ?

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  18. Commercials.

    I have Directv – whole house. A friend told me that he never watches any shows at their designated times. He records them, then watches from the DVR so that he can step through the commercials without seeing/hearing them. Rough guess as I watch–there is about 14 minutes of commercials in an hour show.

    Debbie and I have started recording.

    PS There is a commercial that amuses me and that is where the attractive girl says that anything on the net must be true and this dude is supposed to be a French model.

    As bad as it is, it is one of the few in which an AWD is not the idiot.

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  19. cranky.white.woman says:

    Gonna have to disagree with you on this one AWD. I’m fifty, been driving since I was 15 (that’s 35 years — I can do the math ha ha), never been in an accident, never been the cause of an accident, and only ticketed once, but went to traffic school so it wouldn’t go on my record, which is pristine. The Mister and I have been married for 12 years. During that time, he has been involved in three collisions, and received seven speeding tickets. And as for parallel parking, I’m a natural, always able to do it in one shot. My mom was a Deputy Sheriff in LA County, and my dad was a truck driver…so I guess I get my shooting skills (yep, I’m a great shot) from my mom, and my driving skills from my dad. :)

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    • cranky.white.woman, maybe AWD got carried away with the teasing of the filly drivers in that one! 😉

      I certainly don’t intend to insult any of our good-driving dudettes like yourself. Especially when you acknowledge you’re also a great shot!

      awd

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      • cranky.white.woman says:

        No worries AWD…just wanted to set the record straight ha ha ha.

        If my Mom ever moves to Texas like she’s always threatening to, I’ll have to set up a meeting between you two so you can compare your guns and trucks. She’s armed to the teeth, and knows how to use ’em, and she’s always had a truck for as long as I can remember…fords, Chevys, and these days a Dodge Ram. Heck, she sounds like she could be YOUR Mom LOL!

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    • another cranky white woman says:

      Have to agree with cranky white woman. While I empathize with your views on car insurance commercials, AWD, I am a 63-year-old woman, NEVER been in an accident, had one or two tickets over the years – traffic school – no record. I’m not yet a good shot, but I’m working on it, having come to it late in life.

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  20. It’s time for that deep voiced womern to pay the bill! And who has her in their hands?

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  21. There are definite trends in commercials that I’ve noticed: 1. White man as stupid/inept/ not with it/the fool 2. Black man as savior/the boss/ the person who brings calm to the situation/the person/the person with the answer 3. Black men coupled with white women.

    As real as CNN…. :-)

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  22. I am a $hitty driver; I admit it. I don’t like to drive, it’s boring. I’d rather ride, sleep, read, etc. I don’t pay attention; I never remember driving anywhere; it’s like I’m on auto pilot. My mind drifts off. I also have trouble judging where the right side of the car is relative to the side of the road/other cars/people, etc. (spacial relations? Is that the term?)

    I’ve knocked the mirror off the car twice trying to back out of the garage. This is especially annoying because you have to fix it, or you’ll get pulled over, even though I dont use it in the first place.

    The bright side: 1. most people think they are better than average drivers, making 50% wrong. At least I’m in touch with reality! 2. The fact that I have a clean license/no accidents is all the evidence of god I’ll ever need.

    (I don’t count knocking mirrors off or hitting the occasional tollbooth as real accidents – no police/not hurting anyone = just another day.)

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  23. Cinnamon Girl says:

    I detest the State Foam (that’s how the black guy in the commercial says it) ad where the stupid people are a white blonde woman saying everything on the internet is true and a white guy saying he’s a french model.

    Watch: time and time again it’s not just white men who are being insulted in today’s commercials. It’s ALL white people. It’s getting worse by the day.

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  24. AWD- do you like the MAYHEM tv adverts? he makes fun of
    everyone. Trixee

    (0)
    • Trixee, yeah, he’s OK but that actor was on the HBO series OZ and I can never get around him being Ryan O’Reilly. That other bald guy in the other insurance company was the white supremacist Vern Schillinger in the same series. Funny they’re both now hawking insurance. Oz was a good show. I quit HBO when douche bag Bill Maher’s show started.

      awd

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  25. This one worked pretty well…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EoMkJ87uMBU

    ‘I thought Eric gave you the creeps’.

    (0)
  26. Independent of these idiotic commercials, I respectfully point out to my AWD brothers and sisters that insurance is a critical component of capitalism, allowing money to be invested and put at risk that otherwise would be hoarded in fear of property loss.

    (0)
  27. Hope your wife doesn’t read this post… because you’ll be doing without for the next six months if she does.

    (0)
  28. These commercials are written by morons….for morons. They banned tobacco commercials years ago because of the health issue…why cant they ban these damn commercials because of the brain damage they cause to the public?

    (0)
  29. The only insurance commercial that I like is the Farmers insurance dog. The bones in the bank. Has a dream it’s missing. Gets the insurance. Good stuff, not just more mindless, liberal propaganda of the other commercials. Always, always it’s stupid white people. It shows just how far out of touch from reality these executives are (or who ever gives the OK to air the thing). It all makes the Aflac duck seem almost quaint.

    (0)
  30. In this scenario the woman is rebutting a presumed accusation made toward her that women aren’t as good at driving as men are, so this isn’t an example of “bashing.” For the record, I’m a liberal and I find your “liberals are all idiots” attitude a little childish, so maybe your site isn’t named quite so aptly. Actually, the self-pitying tone of everything on this site is laughable, but there’s rich white men for you, never secure with themselves and always looking for emotional handouts.

    (-1)
  31. The only thing wrong with the woman in this commercial is that she’s spending time with such a douche (this is what is wrong with America). It looks like she enjoys feeling superior to him, which probably happens frequently, because he appears to be a moron.

    Imagine that: a moronic white guy on TV. What will they think of next?

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  32. AWG, first, you, and the rest of these halfwits, are taking these commercials wayyyyyy too seriously. they are meant to be funny dipshit. you seem offended because, in your pea-sized mind, they attack you. anyone that cant laugh at themself is way too uptight and needs to remove their head from their ass.
    additionally, your comments show you to be racist and homophobic.

    (0)
    • John, do we go to your cat grooming and decorating blogs and bother you? And I do not accept your interpretation of the words “racist and homophobic.” Simmer down, John, maybe a nice, soothing bubble bath with your life partner will help.

      awd

      (0)
  33. REV Wright says:

    “You bees racist……………..You bees homophobic!”

    Too funny!!

    REV

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  34. tristinXXII says:

    How did I end up here…

    (0)
  35. Great post

    (0)
  36. Completly agree she hasn’t driven

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  37. Yeah, I hate that commercial, too. Is she supposed to feel empowered just for getting a check? How does waving it front of his face for no reason make her more likable? Is the point supposed to be that he got into a accident and she didn’t? ‘Cause that doesn’t come through. And why does she shush him? He was just trying to defend himself, like any other self-respecting man would’ve done in that situation. “Girl power”, my ass.

    (1)
  38. Dear AWM. I am an old lady. I have driven literally millions of miles, can parallel park anywhere you can and I HATE that damn ad. In fact we got rid of tv over shit like that.

    (1)
  39. I’m really tired of the black guy in Allstate commercials. I’m sure he served a good purpose. But don’t you think it’s time to move on? He’s behind the girls at the restaurant, he can make his voice come out of other peoples mouth, you can even find him sitting in a chair in a man & wife’s bedroom in the middle of the night. Get a grip! There are other talented people out there that you can use for fifteen years in a row.

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  40. Ok sure…… women are superior drivers…….. LOL

    (1)
  41. Mark Walker says:

    “You said the American Navy was superior to the British Navy. So how did the British Navy win the Falklands war?” The same type of logic, making the same amount of sense. Snotty little bitch.

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  42. I just saw this. Great stuff. This POS commercial is STILL running, because Allstate knows that white males are so beaten down they can pick on them continually. I wish that wuss at the restaurant had shoved that check up her ugly rear end.

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