It’s not like America has money to burn. Well, yes we do since Ben Bernanke is printing up $85 billion of nothing a month! But damn if those corruptocrats can’t dream up some of the most stupid ways to waste it! Other than ObamaPhones. And Cash for Perfectly Good Cars. And the non-Stimulus. And….

In today’s episode of “Where’d Ya Park Yer Squad Car, Dick Trickle?”, we find that two government-sponsored studies have come up with some Earth-shattering findings. Men like big boobs and lebanese womerns are overweight and ugly! I suppose next they’ll put a few billion into finding why libtards are morons! Or why air is the preferred breathing substance for humans?

Allow Dr. Big Sexy to break this all these findings down for y’all using scientific techniques discussed on this very blog for free every week. First, we shall prove why lesbians are overweight. Subject: Rosie O’Donnell – a lebanese womern


With this photographic evidence, Dr. AWD can prove without a shadow of a doubt that lebanese are ugly because they look like wide-assed bufforillas that would gag a maggot. Put the rest of the study money into ObamaPhones!

If you do not accept scientific fact known as the O’Donnell Principle, AWD submits the following:

Sweet Jesus! Sometimes science is an ugly bidness! Amazing our government would spend $1.5 million on overweight, ugly lebanese! Dr. AWD’s research has found an underlying cause of obesity in lebanese womerns is they eat too many splits without the banana! Hot, straight babes enjoy a big banana.

The study, which cost $1.5 million (or what Boo Hoo Boehner spends on tanning products yearly), also studied why homosexule men are thin. Easy. Because they have AIDS. They also are on high-protein diets. Next?

Another study done by some fuzzy little foreigners over in Englandistan reported that men preferred fillies with huge tracts of land over flat chested womerns. They also preferred womerns that don’t look like bufforillas. Which is related to why lebanese are lebanese. No man would touch them with Michael Moore’s shriveled up wang. Back to the study on mamalian protruberances. AWD’s personal research is more ample boobage is preferable to flat as board mosquito bites because…well, hell, because every damn body loves big hooters! Par ejemplum:

Or this:

The empirical data supports the conclusion that…..sheee-ut, this is the stupidest study of all time! But, remember, it was done by Englishters. And most Englishters are either homosexule or Muslim. Here’s their conclusion:

β€œMen who more strongly endorsed benevolently sexist attitudes towards women, who more strongly objectified women, and who were more hostile toward women idealized a large female breast size.”

Oh, that’s just the homosexule coming out of the Englishter scientists! I guaran-damn-tee you every one of those involved in this study was a lebanese and butt-ugly! They hate the fact that they look like water buffaloes want to paint normal men who like curvy babe with nice ta-tas as “hostile toward women.” Want to see hostile? Look at a big-assed herd of lebanese grazing on a feast of pizza and beer. They hate everything and everybody! Especially men who won’t give them a second look because they’d make a train take a dirt road!

You won’t find too many conservative lebanese. Lebanese want to change the ideal man into a wussified Obama-type wearing his gay little bike helmet, wearing his gay little mommy jeans riding a girl bike. The left hates the normal, straight man in America who likes guns and girls. They want American men to look like this tool:

Ooops, I meant this one! It’s so easy to get them confused:

You know that cat doesn’t care at all about womerns or ta-tas. And you can bet he’s well-versed on playing the male organ. So he’s the perfect libtard. And he’s more than happy to talk about those mean ol’ sexist American men who like guns, flashlights, knives, boobs, and Hooters. In other words, dudes like AWD.

AWD could have saved the taxpayer a lot of money on these worthless studies. Hell, they could shut down Washington and let AWD make all the decisions and we’d soon be running on all 8 cylinders again! But that won’t happen. And that’s why the USA is going down the toilet of stupid, libtarded governance. You wouldn’t see the State of Texas spending millions studying lebanese…except how to ship their big asses to California ASAP.

Let the blue states have the lebanese and homosexule males. We’ll keep the curvy babes with big-uns down here! After all, it’s just science.

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  1. Dave in Texas says:

    AWD, your post here had Texas iced tea coming out of my nose. LMFAO!!! Great post man.

    • Dave and Biggie, thanks for the kind words. Just watched my alma mater get their asses whooped. Now going to kill me a hog tonight with my big ass assault rifle with a high capacity magazine! Got my night scope dialed in! Suck on that, Feinstein! It’s not safe to be a hog tonight in north Texas!


      • Have a good time my friend. And you know what my sentiments are for DiFi. Actually, can’t really post all I’d like to that way…I’d get the ban hammer!

        • Biggie, I’d say you’re pretty safe from the ban You’re the heart and soul of AWD! Love ya, mean it!


          • Oh wow, thanks so much my friend. And the feeling is mutual, which you know.

            While I have your attention for a moment, when we want to post something behind the scenes, can we write above a the first picture and the picture will automatically come on below the writing too?

            Hope you followed what I’m trying to ask. I’ve been curious about this for a a couple of weeks and forget to ask now and then.

            Thanks. ~

  2. LMAO…I read about these studies and the waste of money (duh!) a few days back. – But no one, and I mean no one can make me laugh like this write-up did. Dr. AWD strikes again!


    BT off topic, but ya gotta watch this Dude, Great speaker at CPAC and 100% right.

  4. chicago guy says:

    Look at rachel madcows picture….. that bitch has an adams apple! (probably a hard-on too)

  5. chicago guy says:

    And her co-worker, his wife (beard) works in the white house, and his father in law is none other than Andy “dirty shirt” Shaw, former “journalist” and current head of the Chicago better government assoc. When not hounding conservative blogs, doing such an great job of sniffing out corruption in Chicago. Fine pedigree, that bunch.

  6. Snake Oiler says:

    Ye gads – my eyes!!! If it hadn’t been for Kate Upton, I would now be permanently disabled. Grumpus! We’ve got to put something in the platform to protect normal people from such visually challenging anomalies.

    • Mr. Grumpus says:

      I’m a little late to the post, but you’re absolutely correct. I’m open to any suggestions. We need more like the girl shooting the SKS a few days ago.

  7. Jumpin Joe says:

    Very Nice

  8. pointy end out says:

    Gaaaaaah ! Im suffering from “visual whiplash” !!!

  9. Ah…money well spent. Wait a moment….



  11. can you please post some warnings when you post pictures like this-MY EYES!!!!

    • I think the gorgeous blonde was supposed to soften the assault on your senses caused by the others. Pity me….I’m a heterosexual woman. Nothin’ to help me stop the eyeball bleedin’. πŸ˜‰

  12. Bigtimer, your hilarious ………..posted……;)


    Typical liberl stick their finger up their nose and ram their brains out the back of their heads

  14. OK, friends, I IGNORE POP [COUGH] CULTURE. forgive mah ignorance.
    Who are the pix of? I can figure out ‘mad sow’ and the ‘cutie’in white…
    who are the others?

  15. OK!!!!…OK!!!!…I can’t take any more…..TOO FUNNY! I usually like to pull a quote out of the story for dramatic illustration, but each line was funnier than the last!!!!! We got us another Mickey Spillane!…..(notice the weak-assed reference to Full Metal Jacket…I had to work that in)

    I guess my big ol’ 30 inch monitor needed a cleanin’ anyway…..Too damned bad that it had to be with my favorite beverage.


  16. After I nearly pissed myself laughing…I had to wash my eyes out with sulfuric acid after seeing those pics…ugh! A classic AWD!