FOR STYLE, FOR COMFORT, FOR ALLAH!

FOR STYLE, FOR COMFORT, FOR ALLAH!

Let’s’ face it, Khalid! You’ve spent a full day out herding goats in the hot Arab sun. Your robes are soaked with the perspiration of 1000 fat, burqa-clad Somalian women in August and your skin is as rough as the whiskers on their faces! You smell like a camel. But now the work day is over! It’s jihad time!

You want to become a martyr with style! Greasy-haired, bearded, smelly terrorists are so 600 AD! You’re different and you have your own holy warrior style! You’ve seen those western television shows like the Satanic Jersey Shore and, of course, you hate and long to explode those Guido infidel pigs. But you like their sassy style! The spiked hair, the tight wife-beater t shirt (a natural for the jihadist!), and the way they moisturize! You’re ready to take the jihad out of the 7th century and bring it right into the 21st!

When you become a martyr and explode infidels, they’ll go to Satan impressed knowing you were different! You took pride in your appearance and the silkiness of your skin! You had style! You moisturized! You had more guts and blood than anyone could ever imagine! That’s right, you were the first metrosexual terrorist! A terrorist who went to his 72 virgins looking his jihadi best!

Who wants to meet their 72 virgins looking like Osama bin Laden? Oh sure, Osams was a great Islamic warrior..but let’s face it..his wardrobe was stuck in the days of Muhammad (may super-sexy metro style be upon him). Could Sheikh bin Laden have married 59 wives without the Muslim rock-star persona of a terror master? No way! Without killing thousands of infidels worldwide, Osams would have been lucky to marry your ugliest goat!

That’s why Nivea has created the Metrosexual Terrorist line of skin moisturizing and hair products with beard detangler, shampoo and conditioner. No matter if you were born in Mecca or converted to Islam in prison in the Great Satan, Nivea Metrosexual Terrorist products will bring out the true jihadi in you! Everyone will know you belong to the religion of sassy style!

Nivea Metrosexual Terrorist products include:

  • Hair’em of Allah Hair Products with shampoos and conditioners with scents like Burning Infidel Flesh®, Essence of C-4®, and Lavender-Rose-Honeysuckly® (for the more sensitive jihadist)
  • Anti-Joo Jihadi Gel – will allow you to wear all the latest jihadist styles
  • Mousse-lim hair mousse that will keep your hair manageable while you explode that school bus
  • Infidel-icate moisturizing creme (made with finest emollients of 100% virgin goat, camel anuses and intestines!)
  • Kaffir Killer Kologne – they’ll smell you a mile away while you blow them to the moon!
  • Anti-infidel blood skin wipes (when you spray the infidels down with your AK, you don’t want them to spray you with their diseased blood! These wipes are treated with anti-infidel agents to kill Jew blood on contact)
  • Infidel Willie Nelson Beard Detangler – Even though he’s an infidel, Willie’s Beard Detangler will wash years of dead insects and guts from your proud Muslim manly beard!

Nivea Metrosexual Terrorist Products! For Style, For Comfort, For Allah!

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20 Comments

  1. Oh my gosh AWD…I had to wait to quit laughing to type this.

    Thanks a million for this brilliant hilarity, much needed today!

    Btw…you’re a real piece of work, I’ve never known where you come up with all you do, but your mind goes places that only you can tread…and we’re all the luckier for it.

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    • Big, thanks! And a huge thanks for all your hard work on AWD each day! Love ya, mean it!

      awd

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      • Oh my gosh, you’re more than welcome. I was gone most of the day, seems everyone’s been burnt out too, been like a ghost town here today.

        LYMI too!

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        • Big, yeah, every now and then we all need to take a break and just make fun of Muslims!

          awd

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          • Lol…works for me!

            My hubby has a job going around here for about a week (he’s off during the summer via the school system) so we’ve been getting everything together for that today. And all the regular stuff one has to do in everyday life. 😉

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    • HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA LMAO too! GREAT POST from AWD. Made my day!!! Needed this too

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  2. Hahahaha! AWD, I wonder how many jihads are on you at this point?

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  3. I prefer behead and shoulders. Gives me that full bodied look before I go and dine at the Allah Garden.

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  4. behead and shoulders..available now in UK as well as ME

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  5. Bravo Dude!

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  6. SPURWING PLOVER says:

    with the scent of unburied courpes,camel wee wee scortched flesh and exlpoded car bombs and blown apart bodies

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  7. This is a classic AWD! My sides hurt from laughing……

    Oh…and by the way…Islam sucks!

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  8. Allah Garden, now offering both infidel and non-infidel sections. Mohammed loves the bacon wrapped goat balls and camel hair pasta.

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  9. Mohammed loves to dip his balls in Au Joooo sauce, it’s to die for!

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  10. SPURWING PLOVER says:

    Theres two thrones in hell one for satan the other for muhammed

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  11. cranky.white.woman says:

    Thanks for the chuckle. After hours spent reading about their daily atrocities, it’s great to read something about them that makes me laugh.

    P.S. Barack is a POS.

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  12. Michael T says:

    Islam sucks. I know thats not funny, but it’s true.

    Mohammed takes it up the ass too.

    DEATH TO ISLAM.

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  13. They would more tolerable if they would just consider using plain soap and deodorant on a regular basis. Come to think of it, so would most europeans.

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