Let’s’ face it, Khalid! You’ve spent a full day out herding goats in the hot Arab sun. Your robes are soaked with the perspiration of 1000 fat, burqa-clad Somalian women in August and your skin is as rough as the whiskers on their faces! You smell like a camel. But now the work day is over! It’s jihad time!
You want to become a martyr with style! Greasy-haired, bearded, smelly terrorists are so 600 AD! You’re different and you have your own holy warrior style! You’ve seen those western television shows like the Satanic Jersey Shore and, of course, you hate and long to explode those Guido infidel pigs. But you like their sassy style! The spiked hair, the tight wife-beater t shirt (a natural for the jihadist!), and the way they moisturize! You’re ready to take the jihad out of the 7th century and bring it right into the 21st!
When you become a martyr and explode infidels, they’ll go to Satan impressed knowing you were different! You took pride in your appearance and the silkiness of your skin! You had style! You moisturized! You had more guts and blood than anyone could ever imagine! That’s right, you were the first metrosexual terrorist! A terrorist who went to his 72 virgins looking his jihadi best!
Who wants to meet their 72 virgins looking like Osama bin Laden? Oh sure, Osams was a great Islamic warrior..but let’s face it..his wardrobe was stuck in the days of Muhammad (may super-sexy metro style be upon him). Could Sheikh bin Laden have married 59 wives without the Muslim rock-star persona of a terror master? No way! Without killing thousands of infidels worldwide, Osams would have been lucky to marry your ugliest goat!
That’s why Nivea has created the Metrosexual Terrorist line of skin moisturizing and hair products with beard detangler, shampoo and conditioner. No matter if you were born in Mecca or converted to Islam in prison in the Great Satan, Nivea Metrosexual Terrorist products will bring out the true jihadi in you! Everyone will know you belong to the religion of sassy style!
Nivea Metrosexual Terrorist products include:
- Hair’em of Allah Hair Products with shampoos and conditioners with scents like Burning Infidel Flesh®, Essence of C-4®, and Lavender-Rose-Honeysuckly® (for the more sensitive jihadist)
- Anti-Joo Jihadi Gel – will allow you to wear all the latest jihadist styles
- Mousse-lim hair mousse that will keep your hair manageable while you explode that school bus
- Infidel-icate moisturizing creme (made with finest emollients of 100% virgin goat, camel anuses and intestines!)
- Kaffir Killer Kologne – they’ll smell you a mile away while you blow them to the moon!
- Anti-infidel blood skin wipes (when you spray the infidels down with your AK, you don’t want them to spray you with their diseased blood! These wipes are treated with anti-infidel agents to kill Jew blood on contact)
- Infidel Willie Nelson Beard Detangler – Even though he’s an infidel, Willie’s Beard Detangler will wash years of dead insects and guts from your proud Muslim manly beard!
Nivea Metrosexual Terrorist Products! For Style, For Comfort, For Allah!