In further wussification of the US military, Pentagon politicians Generals announced a move away from traditional lead bullets (that work) to new “green” ammo that will do less environmental damage. The new green ammo reportedly does less enemy damage, too.

Reported at Fox News:

The new ammunition is notable for being “green” for one thing; it’s lead-free, meaning the new ammo is environmentally friendly, the Army said. The military began providing the lead-free round last June to U.S. soldiers in Afghanistan.

A live-fire demonstration was held Wednesday morning at the post. Soldiers fired the new and old rounds, as well as a third type, to compare the performance of all three on identical targets. The targets included a parked vehicle, steel plates and building materials.

Army officials acknowledged that the M855 “has not been providing the ‘stopping power’ the user would like at engagement ranges less than 150 yards,” according to a 2005 briefing, the Army Times reported last year.

The new “green” ammunition will take a great leap forward in making US soldiers less effective in “bringing to justice” enemy freedom fighters combatants.

Noted news network AWD Investigations has learned the following:

The effective agents replacing lead in the new “green” ammo is a mixture of potpourri and unicorn tears. (For all you goat-roper alpha male types out there, potpourri is a bunch of mushed up, dried flowers that old ladies like)

Major General Lance Girleman, in defending the new “green” ammo said:

“The Pentagon has done numerous studies involving freedom fighters enemy combatants in Iraq and Afghanistan. We found that the Taliban and Al Qaeda found traditional lead bullets quite troubling. They insisted that lead bullets created substantial environmental damage to the battlefield. Therefore, the Pentagon spent billions in developing a less lethal but environmentally-friendly ammunition that meets the expectations of our enemies.

As well, we were concerned that freedom fighters enemy combatants shot with traditional bullets might later suffer from lead poisoning. We find that unacceptable on the modern battlefield. The last thing the Pentagon and American government want is be known for is having a military that not only doesn’t win hearts and minds of the people but leaves foreign battle zones littered with environmentally damaging ammunition.

We learned Al Qaeda and the Taliban were quite satisfied to see us move away from environmentally-damaging lead bullets to the new “green” ammunition comprised of potpourri and unicorn tears.”

With potpourri and unicorn tears prices at an all-time high, the new “green” 5.56 NATO bullets will cost an astonishing $27 per round. Furthermore, active-duty soldiers complained the new “green” ammo did not perform well on the battlefield, often bouncing off of the enemy.

Marine Sergeant Major Richard Leatherneck said:

“Marines don’t need sweet-smelling ammo. We need ammo that will blow Al Qaeda and the Taliban asses straight to Allah! The enemy now laughs at us when the new “green” ammo bounces off their foreheads! Whose side is the Pentagon on?”

General Girleman, in responding to Sgt Major Leatherneck’s comments replied:

“The Pentagon is on the side of the environment! For too long, the US military has ignored the wishes of our enemies and has done extensive damage to Mother Earth. Our data shows that lead bullets, while effective in killing freedom fighters enemy combatants, has done extensive damage to the environment and played a large role in contributing to global warming. This is not acceptable to the politicians Generals in the Pentagon in the year 2013.

Also, we are getting reports that our gay soldiers (Heyyyyy!), who now proudly serve in America’s armed forces, love the fresh wafting scent mixtures of potpourri in their ammunition!”

Echoing General Girleman’s words, Lance Corporal Glenn Bareback said:

“I can speak for the Fabulous Fighting 69th in saying we find the new “green” ammo simply marvelous! The potpourri in the new ‘green’ ammo leaves a gorgeous scent in combat while the unicorn tears remind us of the sadness of war.

After a tough day on the battlefield, we in the 69th throw a few rounds of 5.56 into our bubblebaths and soak away the stresses of war. The only word I have for the new potpourri and unicorn tear ammo is ‘Ahhhhhhhhhhh.'”

Former Marines are not so happy about the new “green” ammunition, either. A short statement, through a psychic medium, from deceased Marine legend General Chesty Puller:

“F*** me!”

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  1. quartierleblanc says:

    Pretty stupid concept with this ammo. If you really want green ammo just use what the French did over a century ago with the Balle D bullet, a solid brass projectile. You can make it do pretty much what you want with twist and SD. Slow twist this with a long for caliber projectile and it will tumble like a MF’er. Shorten it with a tungsten insert and fast twist the barrel and it will blow through anything.

  2. bluffcreek1967 says:

    I had also heard that all Army recruits are now being taught new hand-to-hand combat techniques. Instead of learning aggressive fighting techniques, bayonet slashes and thrusts and that sort of thing, recruits are now taught to slap the enemy with a white glove across their left cheek while shouting with a pronounced lisp, “Stop it!” Military officials said the new combat procedures must still to be proven on the battlefield, but they are convinced it will at least show to our enemy that we harbor no ill will against them.

  3. Michael T says:

    This is all a big misunderstanding. It’s green because it has Kryptonite in it.

  4. We had “green” ammo while I was over there. Most of the time it was “red” though, depending on which phosphorous or magnesium was used. We used to call them Tracers. But it’s good that we are going green full time these days seeing how they no longer have time to teach marksmanship in basic due to not having enough time to train because of all the sensitivity training that congress requires for the military these days.

    All we have to do now is figure some way to replace the depleted uranium we’re using for armor piercing which can’t be healthy. Maybe replace it with porcelain or some other hard plastic. Nope, scratch that, not plastic, paper. Much better to use paper armor piercing ammo. Maybe then the rag heads, oops, I mean Sheet Heads, will love us.

  5. Well! Well! Well! Jeremiah the boar killer surfaces. While this is satire, please do not tell me it is partial truth also. Would hate to think our military is being sissified any farther than it already is.

  6. Go Green with a 6.8 SPC solid copper bullet. Quick conversion on AR platform, same mags used as .223. Muzzle velocity about the same depending on bullet weight which is much more than .223. it also hits much harder and has much better one shot kill ratio. Most GI’s I have talked to would love to have it. The .223 is a glorified 22 caliber really not suited well for todays combat operations. US Drug Enforcement is now using them. Our Spec Ops guys use them. They are much greener as it takes far less bullets to make fertilizer from terrorists. Copper coated Tungsten
    would be awesome also.

  7. Remington began to develop the 6.8×43 back in 2002 and is officially introducing it this year as the 6.8mm Rem SPC. As this is written, the cartridge has not been released to the public, but I can tell you that it provides one MOA accuracy out to more than 600 meters. It has a flight path almost identical to that of the .308 Winchester, less chamber pressure than the .223 and fits into the M16 magazine envelope. Tests in 10 percent ballistic gelatin show incapacitation as good or better than the .308.
    From Rifle Shooter Mag. 2011. It doesn’t get any better than this and it kicks Commie AK-47 ass all to pieces. Makes too much sense though.

    • quartierleblanc says:

      Michael, there’s no way the military is going to the 6.8 even though it’s a superior round. The 5.56 is here to stay till there’s the next new thing which will probably be some sort of caseless round. I’m not sure why they want this when the Black HIlls. 75/77 grain bullets were working fine. There’s really only so much you can do with the 5.56.

      • Your probably right, they don’t want to hurt anyone too bad. Its all political. Its a great round for pigs, deer and I know of a person who dropped an elk with 130 grain .270. One shot, elk went down for good. He looked around thinking some else shot also, checked his mag to make sure he hadn’t double tapped, nope. Tore the heart all up. Give politicos time they will be issuing Red Ryders to the troops. 6.8 makes perfect sense with light recoil and the new sighting systems coming on line soon.

        • quartierleblanc says:

          The original weapon AR15/M16 as designed was really quite good and it was only F$#@ed by Ordnance later. It was under 7 pounds with a 1:14 twist and accurate out to 400 yards. The little 55 grain bullet was highly unstable and tumbled within a few cm of impact, creating a large wound channel. Evaluations by US SF and others in the early 60’s was very good with recommendations made and not followed. Eugene Stoner was also emphatic about using flake powder instead of ball powder another recommendation Ordnance ignored. The weapon was designed as universal replacement for the M1 carbine and M3 submachine gun. The original M16 as initially issued in Vietnam was an abomination created by Ordnance who was under a lot of political/economic pressure. In short it was just another ordnance FUBAR of which there were many. The problem is that it keeps happening historically.


    Green stupidity i mean this is as rediclous as that stupid EARTH HOUR where these eco-freaks want us to turn off our lights all over this Global Warming nonsense Soon theyll replace all the armored talks and halftracks with stupid bicycles becuase green is the color of eco-wacko idiots

  9. If slapping the enemy and yelling top it doesn’t work soldiers are authorized to apply a classic nose tweak followed by a pat on the butt just to show there are no hard feelings. If the enemy fails to respond nicely at this point it is suggested that the soldier invite the enemy back to the tent and share the latest moisturizing techniques. May your piece be upon them.

    • Why do we need bullets when we have 5-megaton warheads that can be delivered anywhere on earth is less than half an hour?

  10. This site has crap info says:

    This article and all the other regarding this are idiotic.

    First.. “the new “green” 5.56 NATO bullets will cost an astonishing $27 per round. ”
    that statement Is utter billshut.. And if ur an idiot to believe that.. Well I feel sorry for you.

    Secondly.. This potpourri and unicorn shit is just retarded.. What dipshit writes this bullshit-baiting crap? Maybe because they just don’t want to say what’s replacing the lead.. Tungsten. and nylon.

    A NATO 5.56mm ROUND.. Meaning one goddamn bullet.. Costs 21 cents to make. The “green” bullet will cost 11 cents more to make.

    Ffs. go read somewhere else.. This website will make u angry and bitter over the blatant misinformation and baiting.. Guess that’s why it’s called what it is.. but they left out uneducated in it as well..

  11. Typical libtard no sense of humor. Go to the angry libtard site where your opinion means something.

  12. They should issues these the same day you enter an Arab imminent danger pay area:

    Just in case you haven’t seen these before, they are just normal rounds with a pork infused ballistic paint coating. Guaranteed to deny all tangos access to their rewards for martyrdom and instead dooming them to hell for all eternity as tainted souls.

  13. quartierleblanc says:

    Speaking of things that hit hard, I saw the new Kel Tec 7.62 Bull Pup. Impressive but loud.

  14. Spurwing Plover says:


  15. This wil fit in with our new all-female combat brigades. They can drive up-armored Priuses that run on biofuels and are painted pink.