SUCKS EL GRANDE UNO!

Does your wife or girlfriend (or both) have one of these horrid things? You’re damn right she does! What is AWD talking about? Them damn ubiquitous Louis Vuitton purses! You can’t venture from your domicile for an ammo run without running across every white woman in America lugging around one of those godawful looking things clogging up the aisles! You’ve seen them! They’re those cheap brown plastic things with a stupid VL logo stamped all over it! On top of that, these Louis Vuitton purses have the close resemblance to a ten pound turd with fake leather handles!

What’s even more comical about the whole Louis Vuitton purse thing that has captivated American womerns like a frozen cheesecake does Michael Moore is that about 120% of them sumbitches are fake! Which is not a bad thing because the real deal from Fwance will set you back about $400…or about 800 rounds of .223 (brass casings). I’d sell my children off for medical experiments in Somalia before I’d ever let a filly spend $400 on a damn pocketbook! You can get a Bersa Thunder in .380 for less! Have American white womerns gone crazy? Yes, they have!

Like a disease, some cheese-eating poofter named Louis Vuitton from Fwance has gotten into the melons of American fillies to where they think they MUST own one of those horrid things! It would be much better for us all if Louis would act like a @#&*ing normal Frenchman and just surrender them big, brown sumbitches! Here’s a photo of that damn Louis Vuitton:

Now, I don’t know what it’s like up in your states, but Texans still have a few shekels left over that haven’t been spread around yet by Hussein. So what do the womerns here spend their money on? Ten pound turd-like purses! Hell, think of all the skanky Victoria’s Secret sh*t they could have bought instead that would bring unsurpassed moments of monkey-loving bliss to the matrimonial unit! But hell no, like every damn womern in America, she can only think of trying to out-Louis Vuitton her pinhead girlfriends!

Every man likes his womern a little on the trashy side and we don’t give a rat about what kind of pocketbook they’re hauling around. Unless she’s carrying extra mags for her man in it. Or unless the male is a liberal. In which case, he is probably already wearing Victoria’s Secret and isn’t really interested in fillies anyway. So fillies would make things a lot better in the bedroom/boudoir if they spent their (my) money on something tiny, skanky, and edible to wear behind closed doors and not something to show off on her to her girlfriends on her latest spending junket at Blood, Bath, and Beyond!

Don’t get AWD wrong. The Big Sexy hisself enjoys a great bag. No, not a @#&* man-purse, you metrosexual, half-a-sissies out there. I’m talking about my supa-cool, supa-functional, supa-sexy 5.11 computer bag:

Fillies, behold a real bag! This is the bag AWD carries on a daily basis for all my manly sh*t. Look at it! Behold the beauty! Functional! And, most of all, sexy, baybah!

AWD carries a full compliment of required equipment and materiel in his 5.11. This includes the laptop from which AWD writes my award-winning, chart-topping posts. It also carries my iPad, iPhone and other iSh*t. It’s also the home for Gunter the Glock 23 when I’m not carrying it on my person. Spare mags, a Kershaw assisted opening with a 5″ blade for close-in wet work, a Fenix LD22 (215 lumens, baybah!), spare charging unit, cables, a second hard drive that contains all my Music That Doesn’t Suck, top-secret files, headphones, and top-secret crap. Sure, it weighs about 200 pounds but that gives AWD the opportunity to show the fillies I can haul it like a man and not whine and cry like a sissified metrosexual who missed his latest moisturizing appointment. Why only last week, AWD placed his 5.11 case on a Smart Car and crushed it. So ladies, let’s see your ten-pound turd fake Louis Vuitton hold anything close to the acoutrements (Fwench word that means “necessary sh*t) AWD hauls around daily. Oh, AWD doesn’t carry tampons! You got me there! Bwahahaha!

AWD has other assorted bags and cases too but they all are for storing and hauling ammo and assorted weapons of war.

AWD calls on our worthless Congress to immediately enact an import ban on all Louis Vuitton purses, fake and real. Womerns need to get their priorities in order and get their asses down to the local mall and buy up some skanky underthings pronto! There are two things American men (not liberals) don’t care about and both of them are what kind of purse y’all are carrying! Hell, throw your twenty pounds of beauty products in a Wal-Mart plastic bag for all we care. But there are three things every American man (not liberals) does care about. And that would be some supa-sexy boo-tay in the boudoir! Or the kitchen table. Or the stairs. Or wherever the hell.

When will American womerns stop being so superficial and self-serving? That would be the 12th. The 12th of Never! So Congress must immediately ban the importation of Louis Vuitton ten-pound turd brown bags! That is, if Speaker Boehner can do without his!

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55 Comments

  1. Dude, that is a pretty good looking purse that you carry. A link to the Amazon page would be a good idea.

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  2. I, sir, do not own one of these hideous turds or any other ridiculously priced handbag. I do have a Bersa Thunder .380 and a well used VS Angel card, so :P!

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  3. I also don’t own a Louis Vuitton, real or fake. Not even remotely interested.
    I DO, however, own a Glock 23–“Mr. Glock” as I call him.

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  4. Texas Belle says:

    Love! The fillies are accordingly impressed.

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  5. Prez Duderino…why, oh why would you even think any of us conservative gals would find this hideous looking purse attractive, or useful in the least?

    Just color me curious…

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  6. AWD’s well dressed woman…………………………………….
    http://www.captainsjournal.com.....jar_ii.jpg

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  7. My wife would call that thing “PBS”. Pretentious bullshit. She doesn’t buy purses, she knits them, then felts it.

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  8. Hilarious! Poofter Magazine had an article on how popular Louis Vuitton bags are in San Francisco now.

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    • Magnum, please tell us that you accidentally saw the article in poofter magazine as it was lying open on a table in the dentists office, and that you absolutely were NOT voluntarily perusing it.

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    • That is not so funny Magnum.

      There was a deadly campus attack yesterday at Le Cordon Bleu College of Culinary Arts in San Francisco.

      Five people lost their lives and several dozen were injured by two angry gay men wielding high capacity Louis Vuitton purses.

      The suspects have been taken into custody and are being held in cross-gender lock up.

      Authorities say no reason has been given for this horrendous attack and loss of innocent life, but police believe it started over a ruined creamy cheese souffle.

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  9. You know what’s sexy in Texas, dudettes in shorts and cowboy boots. You know what’s NOT, dudes in shorts and cowboy boots. Saw that in Cefco this morning while getting my red bull and cigarettes. WTH?

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    • Magnum, couldn’t agree more! Or fillies in cowboy boots and short skirts! AWD is going honky-tonking tonight and there should be a plethora of young lovelies in attendance!

      awd

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  10. Snake Oiler says:

    How about one of them Oprah handbags? She really needs a bag for her ugly face. Seems that incident may have been manufactured to help promote her racist propaganda film, The Butler. When they get around to making one on her life story, the title should be The Butthole.

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  11. Daytona Matt says:

    I have to admit, my lil’ sexy has one. I found it during a very prosperous dumpster dive! She’s never used it once thank God! I should’ve sold that f***err though! Thanks for that link AWD!

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  12. Another masterpiece. So true. No LV for me. No Kate Spade either – another overpriced ugly line of bags, IMO. Prada is nice, but too expensive. Coach is decent and that’s what I carry. However, they have gone downhill, like most things. They don’t make many attractive ones and the quality was much better five years ago.

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  13. I’m a high heels and jeans fan.

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  14. Kansas Gun Girl says:

    Just felt the need to clarify that KGG does not own one of these bags!!! I do own plenty of firepower and I just bought some awesome new ear and eye protection. I tote them and my ammo in a sexy, black bag!

    Cowboy boots are their own fashion statement! You just can’t have too many pairs! There is just nothing better than boots and guns!! 😉

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  15. CombatMissionary says:

    The Left Coast must have gone downhill since I escaped the PRC (People’s Republic of California) if all the women there think they need this crap. I’m just glad I married a keeper. When she’s not busy taking the offspring to MMA, she thinks that a fun date is being my sexy tool girl while I’m putting a new clutch in the ’66 Ford pickup or rebuilding a carburetor on the Dodge. And she looks great In jeans and a button-down shirt. If she was into poofters, she never would have married me. And I never would have asked!

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  16. SPURWING PLOVER says:

    A handbag or purse is a good place for a concealed firearm for selfdefense

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  17. I actually have a Ron Paul patches stitched onto my own 5.11 computer bag.

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  18. Red, if you’re around no need for that Gay post we talked about the other day.

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  19. I wonder what kind of Purse Bag or Box ..Obammy uses?

    http://jettandjahn.com/wp-cont.....obama2.jpg

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  20. Imtoooldforthis says:

    I don’t own a brand name purse. I don’t believe in paying for a product so a company can get free advertising. I buy my clothes from local stores and always try to find made in America on the tag. It’s hard. A lot of times I buy the material and make my own.

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  21. I don’t know for sure but old Louie looks like a potential partner for a weekend with Bathhouse Barry.

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  22. I bet this little filly wasn’t carrying her handgun in a Louis Vuitton purse…

    http://downtrend.com/peterbrau.....on-dennys/

    Excellent.

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  23. I quit using a purse decades ago. Keys in one pocket, wallet and phone in another.

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