While the few remaining taxpaying producers in America enjoy a well-deserved day off from work on Labor Day, not all Americans are thrilled about the holiday. Moochers across America are concerned about the lost revenue from the Labor Day holiday that could result in less “free sh*t,” Obama money, ObamaPhones and other welfare benefits.

At a recent meeting of the Detroit chapter of the Professional Moochers of America, several members were interviewed:

Professional Moochers of America spokesperson LaShante’ Jackson said in an interview on BET:

“While producers owe it to support the mooching classes in America, we are not unsympathetic to many of them getting a day off from work on Labor Day. But don’t most producers already get most weekends off already? We have to be careful that producers do not become too comfortable with the idea of taking too much time off from work. This could lead to problems for us professional moochers.

So we at the PMA are calling on President Obama to only allow the Labor Day holiday every other year. Then we call on the holiday to be celebrated once every five years. Ultimately, we would like to see President Obama abolish Labor Day in his third of fourth term. Idle hands of producers can be a dangerous thing.”

Professional Moochers of America Member and ‘Moocher of the Year’ known only as ObamaPhone Lady in Cleveland said:

“I don’t know nothin’ about no Labor Day but I just don’t like the sound of it! Sound all worky and sh*t. But I do know that I still got that same muva-f***in’ iPhone 4S ObamaPhone and that sh*t ain’t right! I see brovas and sistas all over Cleveland with iPhone 6 ObamaPhones! I mean, I’m the got-damn famous ObamaPhone Lady and deserve the latest in technology!”

Here’s a video of her award-winning performance which garnered rave reviews and a standing ovation during the Best Mooching Video competition at the PMA Annual Award Gala last year in Detroit:

Even imported professional moochers are raising their voices to protest the day off for the producers of America. Jesus Juan Maria Garcia of Los Moocheros Latinos de Los Estados Unidos said through an interpreter:

“We undocumented Americans believe in America. It is indeed the land of the free. So, as pre-Americans, why should we not be entitled to the same free things as American moochers? I mean, I have 7 anchor babies…no, make that 8, I think…who have a right to ObamaTelefonos and Food Stamps. With all the American trabajadores taking off work for Labor Day, who is going to take care of my familia? I might as well move back to Me-hee-co if that’s the way it’s going to be!”

Presidential spokesperson Jay Carney said at the White House press briefing:

“The President hears the professional moochers across America and he empathizes with them. Evil 1%er producers have for too long kept too much of their earnings. After all, they didn’t earn that! Somebody else did.

But President Obama has done more to spread their wealth around so the less privileged moochers can enjoy the latest in technology, expensive basketball sneakers, and dope. I think our Founding Fathers would call what President Obama has done with income redistribution to moochers America’s finest hour.”

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    • Here’s one of the union strippers that lost her job:

    • BT,

      I’m starting to think that Ovomit may not make it to the end of his term. Stop and look around… people are starting to revolt against this POS prez… this OvomitCare is so screwed up that I personally think it will sink before fully implemented, and cities like Detroit and Chicago are ready to collapse… under Ovomit’s leadership I might add.

      Then we have Syria and Ovomits red line bullshit… world leaders see Ovomit as a laughingstock and they now know they can kick sand in his sissy face with no retaliation. I’m laughing at Ovomit, but serious matter for America.

      My true opinion is that Ovomit is on the verge of giving up… a stinking community organizer was his background of expertise along with smoking an occasional joint. You know damn well that congress will not give approval to invade Syria, and that leaves Ovomit very weak and riding his sissy bike… Btw… piss on this president.

  1. But President Obama has done more to spread their wealth around so the less privileged moochers can enjoy the latest in technology, expensive basketball sneakers, and dope.

    No laughing matter, because it’s the bitter truth. The latest sail fawns to organize their attacks, expensive, ultra-lightweight Nike Assassins basketball shoes to help them outleg those who might have the temerity to pursue them, and lots of dope to help either to get themselves fired up or to wind down with.

  2. GIBSMEDAT! Rock all night, sleep all day! (In Michael Jackson high-pitched voice): “I gotta get high as a mufuka, knowamsayin? So where all the NOSE CANDY be at?” “Where all the little boy zombies be at?”

    The party’s coming to an end, soon. China will soon be dumping U.S. Treasuries, causing the Fed printing press to go into hyper-drive to purchase the useless paper debt that no other country will touch. The spiral of countries dumping our debt, and the U.S. printing money out of thin air to compensate for the lack of demand, will cause an inflationary death spiral to occur. I’ve read these spirals can complete themselves in a couple of months. Yes, in just a few months time, U.S. dollars will be worthless. EBT and SNAP cards, IF they’re still working, won’t buy so much as a 40-ounce bottle of beer. The riots will begin. The culling must be COMPLETE, just as the Haitians spared no quarter in their war.

    All the Muslims, Somalians and Mexicans here for a free handout are gonna get REAL hungry. All I got is a Curt-Cobain style lead sandwich for ’em.

  3. Perhaps we should let the groid in chief have at Syria, then China will dump US Treasuries in retaliation. If it is forced, then we can get on with our very own brand of ethnic cleansing. Once the groids stop gettin that free Obammy money, they’ll blame and subsequently attack any available cracka, opening the door for us crackas to start stomping mudholes in groid asses, then stomp them dry again.

    After they are bitch slapped into submission, we can chain them up and have them work to rebuild. Once that’s done, its to the barges and off to mother Afro-ka, so they can revert to their violent nature without interference.

    Kind of like a long term catch and release program, we will release them back into their native habitat.

  4. Well the worthless moocher class will happy to know that my day off was a paid day off.

    • Michael T, you’ll pleased to know that AWD spent a couple hours at the gym today riding the stationary bicycles. Training for the Tour deeeee France!


  5. AWD,
    here is a better version,when they can get down with.

  6. These three turds couldn’t wait for the welfare check…

  7. A target rich environ for President Lazlo’s press gangs
    I feel bad that only Arizona has a Grand Canyon and want to dig another one.
    The dirt will be wheelbarrow-ed to New Orleans build it up above sea level.
    They can keep the wheelbarrows too.

    • Mr. Rational says:

      Hey, Lazlo, why not handle some long-unfinished business?  Have them do a full cleanup on Love Canal.  Government can supply the teaspoons and shot glasses for the earthmoving.

  8. AWD….can ya put yr smarts to a story on:

    Huffington Post Contributor Suggests Conservative Dana Loesch Should Be Raped

    Just another example that liberals are swine. Who has the war on women again?…-raped-n1680418

    Leave it to a progressive male to publicly promote the rape of conservative radio host, activist, wife and mother Dana Loesch.

    Late last night, in response to a tweet from Loesch about gun control, Huffington Post contributor Pascal Robert told her she should be raped and described a sick sexual fantasy.

    “I know you would look lovely with thigh high stockings and would love to have a brother give to you up the ass. Wouldn’t you?” Robert said.

    Are you shocked? Because I’m not. It’s no wonder Robert is anti-gun, that’s usually the case with progressive men who promote rape against women (conservative women in particular).

    Loesch pointed out on her Twitter feed that attacks like the one above are the reason why many women don’t get into politics and thanked her supporters for condemning Robert’s comment.

    “I appreciate you all who speak out against these morons. You show other women that if they take heat over free opinion, they have allies,” she said.

    The Huffington Post has not condemned the attack.

    via ‘libforum’

    • What is it with Leftists and their obsession with threatening to rape beautiful Conservative women?

      They disgust me in the marrow of my soul.


    Whats become of all those occupiers? we havnt seen or heard from them for a while

  10. There are many of us “laborers” who do not get labor day off. Service workers, military, self employed, etc. Just saying…..


    Forcing workers to join one of these corupt unions should be total illegal or unconstitutional Freedom to work without having to belong to some corupt union and pay dues to corupt union bosses

  12. AWD, This is got to be one of your top-3 funniest articles ever. Your wit is tremendous. Advice to readers: make sure your audio is turned on for the first video. Thanks for the deep-belly laughs, AWD.