Yesterday, a Remington 870 shotgun entered the Navy Yard in Washington, DC and murdered 12 victims. Along the way, the Remington 870 reportedly persuaded two friends, an AR-15 and Glock handgun to join him in the killing spree. This is just another instance of senseless violence where guns have gone berzerk on unarmed American citizens! Many are asking why these guns always select unarmed victims?
While information about the Remington 870 pump shotgun (known as Remmie to his associates) is still emerging, it has been uncovered that Mr Remington had a history of mental illness. It is not known why he went on the deadly rampage but many are questioning why Mr Remington was allowed to move freely in the United States.
Bruce Koskoloski with the Folks Against Guns Society (FAGS) said:
“Once again, America reels from senseless gun violence from a gun where a gun was used in a gun crime! When will Americans understand that if we outlaw guns, there will be no more gun crimes?! Just like when we created gun-free zones….oh, wait.”
Mr Remington was rumored to have yelled “love me some gun-free zones!” numerous times as he hopped down the halls on his stock during the killing spree. This has been seen as a poke at groups like anti-gun groups like FAGS and the Brady Foundation who have called for gun-free zones, and the outlawing of guns throughout America.
Mr Koskoloski continued:
“We at FAGS have a lot of work to do in halting the proliferation of gun violence in America. The problem with America is we have not been successful in expanding gun-free zones into larger areas where Americans can be totally protected against senseless gun violence. In fact, America currently has only three gun-free cities. These cities are a shining example of the good things that happen when sensible gun-hating people work together to eliminate evil guns. Just look at the gun-free safe havens of Chicago, New York, and Washington, DC. Oh, wait!”
CNN talk show host and strong anti-gun advocate Piers Morgan said in response to the shootings in DC:
“This semi-automatic Remington 870 assault rifle shotguns with high capacity clips is a killing machine! In Britain, from where I was expelled, there is no gun crime because we don’t have Remington 870 assault rifle shotguns with high capacity clips walking our streets. Sure, everyone stabs each other to death all the time but that’s a lot better than being shot by a madman like Mr Remington!”
Noted anti-gun Senator Dianne Feinstein is proposing legislation that will seize guns in America and send them to Syrian rebels. She said in a statement:
“We’ve seen what happens when guns are prevalent in America time and time again! People die! More guns equals more deaths! We must protect Americans in America by removing the vicious threat of gun violence immediately!
I am proposing legislation today that supports President Obama in seizing guns in America and sending them to the freedom fighter rebels in Syria so they can protect themselves from the government troops of President Bashir Assad! Without guns seized in America and sent to Syria, the Syrian rebels are sitting ducks with no way to protect themselves! We cannot allow that to happen to the Syrian people!”
When asked to comment on efforts to make guns illegal after yesterday’s shootings, 200 million Americans answered in one voice: