AWD doesn’t know about y’all but I don’t know if I’m prepared to live in a world where The Captain and Tenille aren’t married! If there has been one constant over the decades, it has been the promise that love would keep them together. But now I know that everything The Captain and Tenille sang about is a damn lie! Toni Tenille has filed for divorce from The Captain Daryl Dragon! Maybe he didn’t give it to her one more time enough.
AWD believes in marriage! So much that I’ve had a few. Divorce sucks…but this divorce between The Captain and Tenille really sucks! Whenever I hear the song “Love Will Keep Us Together,” I’m whisked back to a time of innocence in the 70’s when AWD was a mere yoot of 13. I was in the 7th grade and was just discovering the magic of girls. It wasn’t until years later I discovered girls were actually the spawn of Satan. But dayum, AWD still loves him some spawn of Satan!
In the 7th grade, I didn’t really understand much about girls except that I wanted them desperately for some strange reason and from those tingly feelings emanating in my crotchtal region. It was in the 7th grade that AWD got his first kiss. I was in the 7th grade, she was in the 9th. A cougar. My friends on the bus were impressed. And the catalyst that turned AWD from an innocent yoot to the Big Sexy who has provided wild monkey love to womerns all over the globe started with The Captain and Tenille ringing in my ears that love would indeed keep us together.
It’s rumored Tenille filed for divorce because The Captain has a neurological illness and can no longer play the piano. Probably found herself an Admiral or something. Sounds like Tenille needs to listen to a little “Stand By Your Man” before moving on to her next source of Muskrat Love! Disappointed!!!
Another loss this week was the Professor from Gilligan’s Island. Russell Johnson passed away at age 89. AWD is one of two people on Earth who knows the Professors character name on Gilligans Island. I’ll tell y’all so now 5 people will know. It is Professor Roy Hinkley. And where did he do his professoring? TCU in Ft Worth, Texas! That’s right! The Professor was a Texan. And I guaran-damn-tee y’all he didn’t teach no damn Womyn’s Studies to a bunch of hairy lebanese fillies! Those are trivia questions nobody ever knows! Bon voyage, Professor!
Next up. Why does Justin Bieber make it so hard for us to love him? If it was just the man and his music, done deal! But Justin just keeps spiraling into the abyss! The Beebs was arrested in Miami in a rented Lamborghini drag racing one of his friends at 4 am. He was also suspected of DUI.
What is it with the musical geniuses of history that make them so self-destructive? Elvis, Hendrix, Joplin, Morrison. Let’s just hope that Justin Bieber doesn’t take his rightful place among the musical visionaries that passed too soon! OK, maybe we can hope a little.
Here’s the CNN report on the disappointing behavior of one of the musical giants of our time, Justin Bieber:
Justin, come on, man! Pull your head out! We need you! Music needs you! You owe it to the people!!!
Here’s The Captain and Tenille singing “Love Will Keep Us Together.” I don’t know about y’all but I think Tenille needs to be a little more animated while singing!
Little known fact. The Captain Daryl Dragon is the brother of one Dennis Dragon of The Surf Punks. Most of y’all goat ropers don’t know anything about the Punks but there were a surf punk band from Malibu popular in California in the 80s. AWD knows this because AWD knows everything.
Here’s “Meet Me At The Beach.”
“Surf’s too big and gnarly for me.” I got a chill.
Hell, here’s another. What?! You really thought I was going to play Muskrat Love? Here’s “Spoiled Brats From Malibu.”