AWD doesn’t know about y’all but I don’t know if I’m prepared to live in a world where The Captain and Tenille aren’t married! If there has been one constant over the decades, it has been the promise that love would keep them together. But now I know that everything The Captain and Tenille sang about is a damn lie! Toni Tenille has filed for divorce from The Captain Daryl Dragon! Maybe he didn’t give it to her one more time enough.

AWD believes in marriage! So much that I’ve had a few. Divorce sucks…but this divorce between The Captain and Tenille really sucks! Whenever I hear the song “Love Will Keep Us Together,” I’m whisked back to a time of innocence in the 70’s when AWD was a mere yoot of 13. I was in the 7th grade and was just discovering the magic of girls. It wasn’t until years later I discovered girls were actually the spawn of Satan. But dayum, AWD still loves him some spawn of Satan!

In the 7th grade, I didn’t really understand much about girls except that I wanted them desperately for some strange reason and from those tingly feelings emanating in my crotchtal region. It was in the 7th grade that AWD got his first kiss. I was in the 7th grade, she was in the 9th. A cougar. My friends on the bus were impressed. And the catalyst that turned AWD from an innocent yoot to the Big Sexy who has provided wild monkey love to womerns all over the globe started with The Captain and Tenille ringing in my ears that love would indeed keep us together.

It’s rumored Tenille filed for divorce because The Captain has a neurological illness and can no longer play the piano. Probably found herself an Admiral or something. Sounds like Tenille needs to listen to a little “Stand By Your Man” before moving on to her next source of Muskrat Love! Disappointed!!!

Another loss this week was the Professor from Gilligan’s Island. Russell Johnson passed away at age 89. AWD is one of two people on Earth who knows the Professors character name on Gilligans Island. I’ll tell y’all so now 5 people will know. It is Professor Roy Hinkley. And where did he do his professoring? TCU in Ft Worth, Texas! That’s right! The Professor was a Texan. And I guaran-damn-tee y’all he didn’t teach no damn Womyn’s Studies to a bunch of hairy lebanese fillies! Those are trivia questions nobody ever knows! Bon voyage, Professor!

Next up. Why does Justin Bieber make it so hard for us to love him? If it was just the man and his music, done deal! But Justin just keeps spiraling into the abyss! The Beebs was arrested in Miami in a rented Lamborghini drag racing one of his friends at 4 am. He was also suspected of DUI.

What is it with the musical geniuses of history that make them so self-destructive? Elvis, Hendrix, Joplin, Morrison. Let’s just hope that Justin Bieber doesn’t take his rightful place among the musical visionaries that passed too soon! OK, maybe we can hope a little.

Here’s the CNN report on the disappointing behavior of one of the musical giants of our time, Justin Bieber:

Justin, come on, man! Pull your head out! We need you! Music needs you! You owe it to the people!!!

Here’s The Captain and Tenille singing “Love Will Keep Us Together.” I don’t know about y’all but I think Tenille needs to be a little more animated while singing!

Little known fact. The Captain Daryl Dragon is the brother of one Dennis Dragon of The Surf Punks. Most of y’all goat ropers don’t know anything about the Punks but there were a surf punk band from Malibu popular in California in the 80s. AWD knows this because AWD knows everything.

Here’s “Meet Me At The Beach.”

“Surf’s too big and gnarly for me.” I got a chill.

Hell, here’s another. What?! You really thought I was going to play Muskrat Love? Here’s “Spoiled Brats From Malibu.”

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  1. Help me with this the PIX you have looks like that Justin Beeber thing. This is Toni:

  2. Spurwing Plover says:

    I realy cant stand silly liberal songs like BIG YELLOW TAXI,DOG & BUTTERFLY,MUSKRAT LOVE, Etc Liberals think we can solve all problems with conceling and medtation

  3. Ah yes Justin Boygina Bieber. Poor Justin , always a Bridesmaid never a Bride. Those who think they walk on water tend to stagger on alcohol.

  4. AWD,

    Please note …there is Muskrat love ..then there is Naked mole rat love …do not get them confused……


  5. One of your funniest blog posts in a long time…heck, I’m still laughing!

  6. Great, I finally get Lars to come out from under the house and I get his mind off the death of the Professor by letting him re-decorate the Lazlo Bunker for the upcoming Stupor bowl, and now this.
    How much can one poor Monkey stand?
    Lars was not born yet when Alan Hale Jr., the actor who played Jonas Grundy died (‘The Skipper’ for the un-serious Gilligan’s Island fan) so I dodged that bullet. But the Professor’s passing was a hard blow to Lars.
    Now he’s commandeered the Hi Fi/TV combo set and is blasting Captain and Tenille and won’t even let me change sides on the record.
    If Ginger, or Maryann pass anytime soon I will have one seriously depressed Monkey on my hands.
    I shudder to think what will happen when Jeannie goes.

    • “If Ginger, or Maryann pass anytime soon I will have one seriously depressed Monkey on my hands.”

      Serious depression can be mollified by spanking Lars while watching reruns of Ginger and Maryann on Gilligan’s Island.

      I know, I know, spanking one’s monkey can be a sore subject… I’m sorry, that wasn’t too heavy handed a suggestion was it?

      • Better not,
        If Mrs. Lazlo catches me I’ll get the back of her hand
        On the other hand, spare the…
        I cannot.
        Fade to black.

  7. That’s Justin Bieber?
    I thought that was Miley Cyrus looking butch.

    • Calamity Jane says:

      Come to think of it, I’ve never seen Justin Bieber and Miley together on the same stage…..Hmmmmm!

      Ooh! Ooh! I knew the Professor’s name, too!!!!!

      FWIW…. Russell Johnson did not play the Professor on the Gilligan’s Island pilot….and…..Ginger was not played by Tina Louis and wasn’t even a movie star! And MaryAnn was Bunny!

    • Laz, I think it is Miley.

    • I saw a picture Facebook post of both of them side by side.
      He was on the left and the caption read “without makeup.”
      She was on the right and the caption read “with makeup.”

  8. Spurwing Plover says:

    I knew a girl in grammer school who was bitten by a muskrat and my older brother once tried trapping the little muckers

  9. Here’s what I remember most about the Captain and Tenille – her hair do. Everyone wanted a “do” like Tenille. Allow me to say this as the professional I was and am. That “do” was without a doubt the hardest cut I’ve ever had to do. It’s dependent on the most excruciating detail to bone and skull structure, weight/growth of hair, and sometimes just plain luck. As a master hair cutter, I would still cringe if someone wanted that “do.” Besides – it looked like sh*t on most women.

  10. Spurwing Plover says:

    Puppeter Ron Hull and his Emu it was always turning on him

  11. bargis tryhol says:

    Geez! For a minute there when I saw the photo I thought AWD was a Beiber fan!

  12. cranky.white.woman says:

    I love the Surf Punks! Whenever I want to reminisce about my years of partying and debauchery (my 20s), I just pop a Surf Punks CD into my player.

    • Cranky white woman, stokin’! AWD is also a fan of the Surf Punks music although I’m pretty sure is want to pound them in the sand if we ever met.

      We all live for the sun!


  13. Musical genious? Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha……………..breath………bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha……

  14. Snake Oiler says:

    Petitions To Deport Justin Bieber Top 100K Sigs

    What’s this? Where is the compassion for those poor people who are ‘living in the shadows’? Who are just in this country trying to make a better life for themselves and their families? — Oh, that’s right, Master Bieber is in the country legally. And he’s not even a victimized minority who deserves reparations. So to hell with him.

    But Master Bieber really doesn’t have anything to worry about, anyway. Being under the tender age of 30, he is automatically included in Obama’s DREAM amnesty, which he ‘enacted’ by executive order.

    Moreover, Master Bieber has still yet to be convicted of any major felonies. And Obama’s immigration department is only deporting illegals who have been convicted of major felonies, when it deports anyone at all.