AWD is a very lucky man. I mean, other than being supa-sexy, uber (that means ‘a lot’ in German, goat ropers) intelligent, and being physically gifted in the crotchular region. I’m talking about being lucky because AWD has actually met the man, the myth, the right-wing extremist, MisterBill! I crap you negative, he actually exists! And today, we celebrate MisterBill’s birthday!
Yes, Misterbill is old and homely as has been discussed for years here at AWD.com. But MisterBill has something almost as good as looks going for him. He’s very intelligent and I’m sure, before he was old and ugly, was able to reel in a few fillies in his day. Well, that’s what he told me anyway.
All joking aside, MisterBill is old and ugly. Now, we’re not talking Janet Reno ugly or anything like that but he could use a few decades of beauty sleep. But MisterBill is a conservative intellectual without equal! His witty and thought provoking comments at AWD have been the topic of many deep and stimulating conversations in the FBI surveillance van parked 24/7 outside his home. And who can forget his epic poems which never fail to bring a chill up angry white backs throughout trailer parks in Appalachia? Such talent is rare outside of bowling alleys.
AWD met MisterBill at a Tea Party event several years ago. He is a gentleman, he is wise, and intelligent. I’m honored to call MisterBill a friend. It’s refreshing to know America is filled with great patriots and people like MisterBill. But he is ugly.
Join the Big Sexy in wishing MisterBill a happy birthday! I wish I could be in Georgia today to hoist a chilly one with him and hear his opinions on life firsthand. We are honored MisterBill has chosen AWD.com as a home on the inter web net where he shares his perspective and wisdom. Learn from the master! MisterBill is a great man! Just ugly.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MISTERBILL! LOVE YA, MEAN IT!
p.s Bill, you know I’m joking mostly about that ugly thing!