Hello happy root huggers! It’s Comrade AWD reporting from the Casa del Amor backyard where we are smoking the hell out of some pork ribs celebrating Earth Day! So far, the annual pork smoker has turned into a 3-alarm fire call…but that’s all right! We’ve got plenty more pork and my town has plenty more gas-guzzlin’ fire trucks!

The Fire Chief finally rolled up a little while ago and told the assembled firefighters, “I told y’all boys it was just AWD f-ing around because it’s Earth Day! Hey AWD, how’s your mama ‘n em?”

Oh, you have to love Earth Day! It’s the enviro-tards equivalent of Kwanzaa. Both are made up holidays and were invented by criminals. The cat who invented Earth Day is Ira Eichhorn who killed his girlfriend and locked her body in a chest. Then he fled America and is currently residing with the comm-a-nist Eurotrash kissing trees. he could at least buried her body so she could provide nutrients to the plants!

Which reminds me. What would Earth Day be without these ‘tards?

Damn! I love that video! If I could find out there the next Earth First tree lovefest is taking place, I’d show up with a chainsaw to liven up the festivities! Those ‘tards sure do yell a lot over dead trees!

A local tree said:

“I wish someone would take a chainsaw to my ass so I don’t have to listen to those Earth First tools yelling and scaring the hell out of my saplings! Hell, it’s always been my dream to end up being part of a nice house, anyway!”

AWD has enjoyed Earth Day today the way I do each year. I filled up the ‘F-150 o’ Death’ and put my boots on the floor all day! Air conditioning running full-speed…I even had to put on a ski parka at one point…I’ve put about as much carbon in the environment as Michael Moore after a all-you-can-graze Mezcan buffet!

To honor Earth Day, AWD has uncovered 5 little-known facts about the celebration:

  1. Environmentalists are stupid idiots, worthless to civilization. They smell like a compost heap and have less intelligence.
  2. Earth Day was invented by a comm-a-nist murderer who is a stupid idiot and smells like a compost heap.  With less intelligence.
  3. Earth Day results in more carbon released into the atmosphere than any other day as normal people use more electricity on this day than the rest of the year combined just to piss off comm-a-nist libtards who smell like a compost heap.
  4. All the carbon released into the atmosphere does not damage the Earth one little damn bit!
  5. AWD is the best hog smoker in the world and puts out more carbon cooking pork on his smoker in an hour than Al Gore puts out on his private jets and castles in a decade!

I hope you’ll share all those fun facts with all your libtarded neighbors (if you live outside of Texas) and tell them the Big Sexy is doing his part on Earth Day! I hope you too have helped celebrate this wonderful celebration of Mother Earth.

I think I’m going to go chop down a tree.

Please share this post with your fellow environmentalist friends (who smell like a compost heap) by using the Share buttons below.

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    we’ll mine the other planets later.

  2. Spurwing Plover says:

    Stupid bunch of tree huggers granola munchers and new age gaia worshipping pinheads and LSD heads watching their stupid Captian Planet marathons and idiot crap movies like AVATAR and FERNGULLY and the fact that Earthday was also the creation of murderer Issac(Unicorn)Einhorn who should be hanged from a tree. Earthday when the usial band of annoying hippy freakos urge us to show respect to their deity Gaia I say maroon these jerks on some island and let them all live like the primatives they so admire

  3. To be honest, I don’t think Einhorn killed his girlfriend, the evidence just doesn’t show it. I think he knew a bit too much (she was a fellow researcher) and TPTB had to shut him up somehow. But that’s based on what I’ve read, and I do quite a LOT of reading.

    They will toss their own under the bus if they get out of line.

    Still doesn’t change the fact that he’s a loony liberal though. :)

    I believe in Father God, not mother earth.

  4. Hey y’all. I celebrated by revin my jacked up mud covered jeep at a red light beside a unicorn powered prius. I too had the air on.
    Windows dirty and what not. Btw. Got an army buddy short on money. Need any info on cheap new or slightly used 35s for a 2005 Ford 150. In the far west Texas area near Ft Bliss.
    Happy “earf” day crackas.

    • jose emanuel says:

      So ironic that earth day is the topic because,no more than 10 minutes ago I was invited to the “MAYDAY” rally at the downtown inner harbor here in commie Balto. MD.An associate from work ask me my opinion about unions and,i gave him my view that I don’t care for them.Well anyway I explained why and he said if you want to get out your anger,then “you should attend the rally and, flip over a couple of police cars”Wasn’t these people supposed to be “peaceful” and “passive”The whole god dam world is upside down and it’s there fuking fault!I HATE THIS GOD DAMM ADMINISTRATION, AND THIS MISERABLE FUKING STATE!!!!!!!

      • jose emanuel says:

        Furthermore they can take there earthday,enviormental policies,greenhouse,ozone,treehugging bullsh!t and shove it straight up there ass sideways!!!!!!They probably like it,you faggots!

  5. Google me another Google it’s Lenin’s Big Commie Earth Day Birthday

  6. Dude! Did you really kill an innocent little wild piggy and then kill some trees to smoke said innocent little wild piggy?

    Well done man!!!

    (That doesn’t excuse those moisturizing episodes though)

    (Or the man purse)

  7. Environmentally safe BBQ…..No trees were harmed.


  8. AWD I hope you get a kick out of this.

    One day, a very gentle Texas lady was driving across a high bridge in Austin .

    As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a young man fixin’ to jump. (“fixin” in Texas means: has the means or abilities to take action)

    She stopped her car, rolled down the window and said, “Please don’t jump! Think of your dear mother and father.”

    He replied, “My mom and dad are both dead; I’m going to jump.”

    She said, “Well, think of your sweet wife and precious children.”

    He replied, “I’m not married, and I don’t have any kids.”

    She said, “Well, then you just remember the Alamo .”

    He replied, ”What’s the Alamo ?”

    She replied, ‘’Well, bless your heart! — You just go ahead and jump you little Yankee Democrat Bastard… You’re holding up traffic!”

  9. For Earth Day, I built a fire on top of 4 stumps with damp wood to make lots of smoke. Then I poisoned the damned moles in my yard by inserting a long funnel into their burrows and hills and pouring a combination of bleach and ammonia to gas the little “f ‘ers. The most fun I ever had on Earth Day.

  10. This just in …on this Earth day a scandal…it seems the melting ice caps in the Arctic…

    Which was said to endanger the Polar Bears was brought on by…..

    Yes, they did it to them selves…..


  11. Angry White Boss says:

    These facts are more truthful then when Obambam said he’d stand with the muslims!
    And that video was a laugh riot!

  12. Hush my Puppies,
    I bring news.
    Conservatives and other good folk celebrate earth day every day.
    They do it when they say grace, and give thanks.
    They say thank you to the creator of the universe for creating said universe that has all these galaxies, stars and planets in it.
    Especially this planet which that creator has fashioned in such a manner that we who live on it can have a moment of peace to enjoy the bounty of the planet and stave off hunger for another day.
    Folks who give thanks in that manner differ from the tree huggers by virtue of the fact that being grateful for what one receives is what one ‘Is’, Tree hugging is what one ‘Does’
    One requires only gratitude, the other a media campaign.
    Having a simian companion that embraces the tree concept in an authentic manner, I must posit there are Tree Huggers and there are honest Proto-Citizens working their way up the food chain.
    How come Hippies and Treehuggers never have an answer to the question: In the Cave Man days they had clean water, organic food and clean air, so why did they only live to thirty?

  13. Spurwing Plover says:

    Birds and people have died becuase Racheal Carson lied

  14. Spurwing Plover says:

    Next time you see someone with a bumper sticker reading THE EARTH IS YOUR MOTHER or showing the earth and saying LOVE YOUR MOTHER roll down your window spit on the ground and say IM SPITTING ON YOUR MOTHER or you see tstupid sign showing a bunch of redwood trees or other type of trees and say HOW MANY OF YOUR ELDER WERE CHOPPED DOWN TO MAKE THAT SIGN? Proves that enviromentalism is a mental disorder cuased by a steady diet of Nuts,Berries and Captian Plannet Marathons and watching dumb movies like AVATAR,FERNGULLY and FAMILY TREE

  15. carnac 123 says:

    I had my usual Earth-day. First I shot and killed a whooping crane and had it chicken fried. It wasn’t bad with fries. I then got in my Jeep and drove west and ran over every Desert tortoise I could find. They are fun. They see you coming and they begin running as fast as their scaly little legs can carry them. Some get up to a yard a minute. Then your front tire hits them and the make that hollow explosive sound; kind’a like a watermelon does when it falls a few stories to the cement. They just explode but if you are lucky you can hear them curse just at the time the tire hits them. While driving home I shot a bald eagle. They are fun to kill. They dive down like an airplane but hit the ground really hard. Finally I kidnapped a tree hugger, tied him/her up and threw them in my trunk. I drove them to a large grove of old growth trees and nailed them to one. After that,…I chained them to it also. They were screaming when I drove out of the forest but no one goes there much and they will never be found. Another green commie enjoying the trees he loves so much forever. AAhhh…..Earth Day! I can’t wait to do it again next year.

  16. Spurwing Plover says:

    A few years ago they made their stupid peice of crap movie FAMILY TREE with the usial hollywood brat type want to save some tree Big time flop in box office as putrid as AVATAR and FERNGULLY

  17. Max & Eric says:

    how do I let everyone one know how happy I am
    1) Downshift
    2) hammer down
    3) Slap on the Jake brake
    4) Listen to the music my stacks make
    5) watch the black smoke roll
    I love haulin suicide thru the loop.