What’s up with all the earthquakes lately? The walls been shakin’, the earth’s been quakin’, my mind’s been achin’, and I ain’t fakin’ that it’s getting a little weird around these global parts. Buffaloes have been relocating from Yellowstone to Myrtle Beach because of seismic activities. Getting mighty strange! No word if bufforillas like Rosie O’Donnell are relocating from Nueva Jork yet.

While global warming is most certainly the cause of the recent quakes (or so says every libtard in the world), a Muslim imam knows the real cause. That would be scantily-clad babes causing all manner of unsanctioned flippy floppy loving in the world.

A senior Iranian Muslim cleric, which means he has a second grade education at most, has declared that sexy women cause earthquakes. Hell, all that time I thought it was Michael Moore in a step aerobics class.

AWD recently wrote his PhD (PhD doesn’t stand for Pizza Hut Dude, goat-ropers) thesis that the tsunami that killed tens of thousands in Indonesia a few years ago was caused by Rosie O’Donnell jumping off her boat in the waters off of Hawaii. Won a Nobel Prize for that one.

Back to the Imam. Ayatollah Kazem Sedighi said to Muslim worshipers (i.e. wild-eyed fanatical terrorists):

“Many women who dress inappropriately … cause youths to go astray, taint their chastity and incite extramarital sex in society, which increases earthquakes.”

Now what scientist could argue with that? As a yoot, AWD can remember a few babydolls in my neighborhood who gave me the morals of a drunk Mezcan. So all that rocking and rolling in extramarital sex from curvy babes definitely shakes the Earth off its axis? If stupid people are willing to believe in global warming, believing hot curvy babes cause earthquakes is a lay up! Hell, AWD has seen a few young honky-tonkin’ fillies in Texas that made his achy-breaky heart go pitter-patter enough to cause a small tremor of about 6.9 on the Dichter scale! Of course, that was before AWD was with the little filly (you-know-who reads AWD sometimes).

Lucky for us infidels, the Imam has given us the way to avoid such natural disasters:

“Calamities are the result of people’s deeds. We have no way but conform to Islam to ward off dangers.”

So there you go. All you goat ropers out twirlin’ around those little tight-jeans wearing floozies at your local dance hall are causing untold misery around the world. That crap has got to stop! Better wrap that little lovely up in a burqa, grab yourself an AK-47 and start spraying down crowds of infidels and be a responsible Islamic global citizen! Then all will be peaceful.

Iran is prone to awful eartquakes so the Imam knows what he’s talking about. The worst quake in recent times hit the southern Iran city of Bam in December 2003, killing 31,000 people – about a quarter of the population – and destroying its ancient mud-built citadel. Does anyone find it amusing that a big earthquake hit an Iranian city named Bam? Bam is situated between the Iranian cities of Wham and Thankumam.

AWD is currently postulating another thesis over here. Perhaps Islam and its restrictions on women is the real cause of earthquakes. Consider this, Einsteins. In Iran, women must wear big, black trash bags (if they know what’s good for them). Black trash bags absorb heat which greatly increases the ground temperature of Iran. We all know matter expands when heated. So the Earth expands wherever large numbers of burqa wearing Muslim fillies are located and massive earthquakes occur! So Islam is the real cause of massive earthquakes! Get rid of Islam and all natural calamities stop. And all terrorism, too. I rest my case, score one for America!

So maybe all those Muslim babe-a-lonians should wiggle out of those burqa’s put on some short shorts and a tube top (the preferred summer ensem for the little filly) and give all of us in the world a break!

I’ll probably win a Nobel Prize for that. How does AWD do it so easily? It’s a gift. Why do I do it? Because I care.

For some Music That Doesn’t Suck that deals exclusively with earthquakes, here’s AC/DC singing the love ballad “You Shook Me All Night Long.” This one always chokes up the Big Sexy but I’m just a romantic fool. And I just love me some science!

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  1. Spurwing Plover says:

    According to tho eco-wackos and and earth worshipping earthday wanks Earthquakes was cuased by their pagan deity Gaia sending a message to us to treat her with respect becuase eco-wackos are such a bunch of idiots

    • Yeah, sounds like the premise to the new “Noah” movie…. not worth the money folks. The eco-wackos took a biblical story and changed it to Gaia ( the creator ) flooding the earth to destroy mankind for disrespecting her ( ruining the environment ) unlike the TRUE account where God decided to flood the earth to punish the carnal SINS of mankind ( murder, rape, homosexuality, bestiality, pagan worship, demonic offspring from fallen angels, etc…)

  2. I don’t think that the tasty little filly above has enough “junk in the trunk” to cause more than a little wiggle… but the fat assed welfare queens twerking may be causing some global catastrophes… just saying

  3. Mr. Rational says:

    I wouldn’t send California into the sea for that one.  If I wanted that much silicone, I’d get a RealDoll.

  4. My Puppies,
    Let not the Jiggly Ones lead you astray!
    Most Honored Hot Mom Gaea responds to base male objectification vibes of the female form by sending waves of righteous earthquakes so men have to atone for their ‘ogling eyes ‘a wandering’ by building everything twice.

  5. Yep sexy babes cause all kinds of mayhem!


    A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor’s office
    and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
    ‘Impossible!’ says the doctor… ‘Show me.’ The redhead
    took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed,
    then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She
    pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her
    ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her
    scream. The doctor said, ‘You’re not really a redhead,
    are you? ‘Well, no’ she said, ‘I’m actually a blonde.’
    ‘I thought so,’ the doctor said, ‘Your finger is broken.’

    • Thanks for the optical illusion
      At first glance it looks one headlight is malfunctioning
      But on closer study, and pondering the scene for some goodly minutes you conclude that both headlights are just fine.

  6. eekalouse says:

    Sexy women have been known to “rock my world.”

  7. I like this version AWD.


    Must be the artistic way the video is lit. Or maybe it’s the blonde on the exercise bike. Who knows?

  8. Well AWD you did pick some excellent music this time. Also last night the gal I was with said I was Miles Deep. Now I don’t know if that violates some sort of copyright or patent Miles Long has or if it breaks the guy code so out of respect I won’t use the name on your site. :)

    • jose emanuel says:

      Yes…..God was good to the young lady at the top of the page!I can overlook the silicone thing.Muslims are fuked up people,you can look at miss hotty or you can look at a chic wearing a bee keepers outfit.hmmmmm,jose takes the hotty!

  9. She can Frack my backyard any day.