Dallas could soon be on fire! Thousands of Dallas citizens protested the shooting and death of an unarmed white man (aka cracka) this week with numerous protests across the Metroplex. Andy Gaynier, 26, was tragically shot by Dallas police when he aggressively rushed a Dallas officer after being told to stay where he was. The shooting mirrors the Michael Brown shooting in St Louis, only this one won’t make the news. Gaynier is the wrong color and Democrats have quit trying to win back white voters.
The shooting of the unarmed white man has the entire Dallas white community enraged. To protest, thousands of Texans got up early and went to work today. Some of the more angry protesters made a point of being a few minutes late to the office.
Local secretary Laurie Johnson said:
“No overtime, no peace! Hey hey, ho ho, it’s 5 o’clock and I have to go…to pick up the kids from soccer practice.”
When asked about the shooting of the unarmed white man, Johnson said:
“Well, he shouldn’t have rushed the police! What was he thinking? But I’m sure he was a goot boy who ain’t never done nuffin’ wrong.”
Motorists all over the Metroplex could be seen driving down Central Expressway, the North Dallas Tollway, and 35 in a light rain and not turning on their headlights (as is the law!) in an open show of dangerous protest against the shooting. Such reckless behavior has never seen before from white people.
Local Quik Trip convenience store management in Richardson was nervous of the volatile situation growing throughout the morning drive. Especially after a Quik Trip store was looted and burned to the ground last week in St Louis over the police shooting of black teen Michael Brown. In Dallas, several white protesters were seen topping off their tanks with gasoline and letting a few extra drops splash to the ground, creating a tremendous environmental disaster that could last decades. Others spilled some of their Original Colombian coffee on the counter, creating extra work for the QT staff!
One man was visibly upset when the QT ran out of 32 ounce Styrofoam cups for his Diet Coke. He was overheard saying to store management:
“What do I want? A 32 ounce cup! When do I want it? Now! If that wouldn’t be too much of a problem.”
Michaels and Hobby Lobby took extra precaution where burning of stores was a distinct possibility in Plano. Protesting housewives with their children in tow went up and down aisles looking for scented candles in delicious scents like Papaya Punch, Candy Apple Orchard, and Fresh Summer Lemon Scent. Dallas Police had warned home stores about protesting trophy wives in McKinney buying ingredients for Molotov Votive candles.
Hobby Lobby protester Morgan Johnson said:
“This injustice will not stand! I left yoga class early and skipped Starbucks entirely with my tennis girlfriends to buy those cute little Papaya Punch candles for our pool party this weekend only to find they were sold out! I’m so enraged because I’m going to have cancel my mani/pedi to drive all the way to Frisco to find them! Maybe I can get Governor Perry to open an investigation on this oppression!”
The protests are scheduled to continue tomorrow where a group of women are planning on taking over the Whole Foods coffee area to trade recipes they saw on Pinterest and discuss social injustice.
Local officials are concerned with the never before seen levels of anger being seen from white people over the shooting of the unarmed white man. They hope the enraged crackas will soon return to their daily lives and quit spilling coffee at the Quik Trip! The city appears to be at the breaking point!
Through a source, AWD has learned that Dallas Police is considering loading their guns with rubber earplugs to restore order. I’ll try to stay alive and safe to continue reporting the violent protests from the front lines at Bob’s Chop House. It’s getting real, people!