We all know how inconvenient and frustrating it can be going through TSA security checkpoints at the airport! And no one likes having their tingly parts felt up by a $7 an hour TSA goon who was fired from Taco Bell a few days ago! Well, don’t wait in line like a common American citizen! There’s no reason to suffer all those hassles and indignities now that Big Sexy Products, Inc has introduced the ‘ILLEGAL ALIEN IN A MINUTO’ TSA AIRPORT DISGUISE™!
Now that the TSA has admitted to allowing illegal aliens to board airplanes in los Estados Unidos with only a Notice To Appear (I-862) form and no other identification, time-savvy Americans now can avoid inconvenient, long TSA lines with hot, sweaty American taxpayers, waiting to present their TSA-approved identification and get a TSA agent’s finger in their butt!
The ‘ILLEGAL ALIEN IN A MINUTO’ TSA AIRPORT DISGUISE™ includes:
- One legitimate I-862 Notice To Appear form with authentic signature from a Democrat appointed immigration judge!
- For those flying out of Texas, One authentic disposable poncho pre-soaked in actual water from the Rio Grande so you won’t be confused with any of those American citizen and be forced to wait in line. TSA will think you just floated the Rio Grande momentos before! Bienvenidos, Peedro!
- For our customers in Western states, One authentic poncho covered with our exclusive “Essence of Sonora Desert” dust! You’ll smell like a combination of Saguaro cactus and rotting animal carcass to fool even the wiliest of TSA agents! (actual lifelike cactus needles available at additional cost)
- One pre-completed Democrat Party registration card and addresses to dozens of polling places and welfare offices
- A book of common phrases used by real illegal aliens like:
- Si Se Puede con Obama!
- Yo quiero Taco Bell!
- I don’t need no steenkin’ ID!
- One Ricky Martin “Livin’ La Vida Loca” cassette
- An authentic teddy bear and soccer ball personally autographed by Glenn Beck
- One t-shirt that says “Jeb Boosh Es Mi Vato!”
- Operational instructions for a Toro Ultra leaf blower
Think of all the time in lines and aggravation you’ll avoid with your disguise! Once you have put on your ‘ILLEGAL ALIEN IN A MINUTO’ TSA AIRPORT DISGUISE™, you’ll be able to board your plane before all those gringos and join real illegal aliens sipping champagne in their First Class seats! All compliments of gringo taxpayers! You’ll scream “Ay yi yi yi yiiiii” in joy after avoiding the long TSA lines, strip searches with intrusive body cavity probings, and the complimentary upgrade to First Class!
All this can be yours for the low, low price of $49.99! Sorry, no Pesos accepted.
With your disguise, the joy of flying in America will take on a whole new meaning! If you get questioned by TSA, all you’ll have to do is yell out “RACISTA!” and you’ll soon be on your way!
Remember, it only takes a minuto to avoid horas in line with common American travelers! You deserve better! Save yourself time, aggravation, and the fingers of TSA agents in your culo! Don’t wait until manana, get your ‘ILLEGAL ALIEN IN A MINUTO’ TSA AIRPORT DISGUISE today! From Big Sexy Products, Inc.