Archive for the ‘Male Bashing Commercials’ Category
VERIZON’S MALE BASHING, GIRL POWER STUPID COMMERCIAL
Angry White Dude just saw the stupid Verizon Girls Rule the Air commercial…excuse me…I just threw up in my mouth.
Just the first two lines make me want to hurl:
“Air has no prejudice. It doesn’t carry the opinions of a man faster than a woman.”
Like, you’re right girlfriend! Unfortunately, air carries this politically correct tripe just as fast as it does content with at least a modicum of intelligence. Ya know???? It continues with:
“It doesn’t filter out an idea because I’m 16 and not 30.”
Yeah, the world has really benefited from the ideas of 16 year olds lately. Lemme see…do I wanna go to the Galleria or Stonebridge Mall? I have an idea! I’ll go to both! That way I can use Daddy’s credit card at both to buy slut-wear that makes me look like a hooker! I’m so smart! Thank you Verizon!
“Air doesn’t care if I’m black or white.”
Well, unfortunately for you, Heather, that group of black girls cares because you looked at them! White girl gonna get a beat down! Maybe they didn’t see the Verizon commercial! Welcome to the real world!
So it stands to reason that my ideas will be powerful if they are wise
Who writes this crap? “My ideas will be powerful if they are wise?” So if your ideas are stupid will they be…well..stupid? Yes, they will.
And if my ideas are infectious, I can lead the army that will follow.
Well, you better start getting used to that “infectious” part since most of these young grrrrl types sleep around more than Paris Hilton (another genius). I don’t know about you but I long to be part of an army led by 16 year old girls in slut-wear thinking they have good ideas because political correctness tells them so.
Look at the majority of leaders of the tea party movement. Women. Conservative women who didn’t need political correctness telling them how biased the mean old male dominated world is against them. And yes, most of these female patriots are just as irritated by these male-bashing commercials! Just like the NAACP dropping the race card and poisoning the minds of young blacks, political correctness like this Verizon commercial warps the minds of young girls. These male-bashing commercials plant the seed that girls need someone or something (Obama, the government, Verizon) to stand up for their right to have good ideas. Otherwise they will never be taken seriously.
If a commercial of this type needs to be made, it should be about the poor treatment of boys in today’s society. Because in the United States of the Offended and Politically Correct, boys have no voice. We don’t dress our little boys in “Boy Power” and “I Hate Girls” t shirts although anti-male shirts of this ilk are readily seen on little girls at any mall. Boys are taught today they have to be in touch with their feelings, that girls want metrosexuals (homosexuality-lite) boys and that ERA stands for Equal Rights Amendment and not Earned Run Average. Boys are taught not to win but to worry about the feelings of everyone else. The result of this garbage-thought can be seen in the issue of illegal immigration. Leftists are more concerned in profiling law breakers than keeping the law! Well, we can’t ask them for their papers…they might be offended and we just can’t bring ourselves to do that!
60% of college students are female. Boys are going backwards in achievement and I believe a major reason is the political correctness that permeates our womern-ized society. Look back at history and the men who achieved. They won wars, they built societies, invented medicine and technology, created art and literature. And women loved them for it. Today, boys are taught by society to accept every putrid thought as something of value. They are taught American values are no better than values of other lands….even though countless Americans have died in wars to protect those same values. They are taught neither right or wrong but shades of gray pc-thought that tells them not to judge…when life is nothing more than a series of judgments. Boys are taught to be door-mats for girls to walk over. But it’s impossible to respect or love a door-mat!
AWD has a beautiful daughter who is a rising senior at a major university. She is a Chemical Engineering major and has already published peer-reviewed papers. I don’t pretend to understand what she does because I don’t even understand the names of her classes. You better believe her ideas and opinions are valued by her peers. Because she has earned it and not whined about how few women have traditionally majored in Chemical Engineering. She didn’t ask for special treatment because she is female. She certainly didn’t need Verizon!
This is not Verizon’s first rodeo in male bashing, politically correct commercials. Here’s one of the first AWD ever wrote about when this blog was started. This commercial really put me in jail.
I’m convinced the ad writing agency for Verizon is a bunch of man-hating lebanese or a group of pillow-biting poofters. Verizon could certainly use a healthy dose of testosterone in its commercials. This country is becoming unraveled by the poison of political correctness!
TEXAS FRED’S HOME SECURITY COMMERCIAL
WOULD YOU WANT TO BREAK INTO FRED'S HOUSE?
Today, I received an email from my good friend Texas Fred. His first name is Fred. Fred is a dude at AWD and he is less politically correct than AWD. He said he was watching television today when a Broadview security commercial aired. You know, the ones where the white male criminals break in on the pretty and vulnerable white women? Then the handsome, confident Broadview security man calls to send help.
The wheels in Fred’s big ol’ head started turning. Here’s what he came up with:
Texas Fred and the Broad-Ass Security Commercial
Fred: I had a really nice time but I’m just getting over a really bad breakup Angelina, I hope you understand…
Angelina: I will give you all the time you need to get over that hussy Fred, you are MY stud muffin…
Angelina leaves and Fred’s ex-wife bashes in the back door but runs away as Fred is protected by his Broad-Ass Security system…
The phone rings…
Fred, (in a terrified voice): Hello??
AWD: Hi, this is AWD from Broad-Ass Security, is everything OK?
Fred: NO, my ex-wife just bashed my door in and I’m afraid…
AWD: Well grow a set you p*ssy, use that .45 for something besides a paperweight you *wussypants mo-ron…(* heavily edited by AWD…Fred is a true vulgarian)
Fred: Thank you AWD, and thank you for being there for me at Broad-Ass Security…
Disclaimer: The persons represented in this story are actors, they have been compensated for this commercial and are in no way meant to represent any person, living or dead. Broad-Ass Security.
I suggested Texas Fred send his commercial to Broadview but after review it may be…shall we say…a little “rustic” for the politically correct Broadview Security people.
AWD has written many posts about these security commercials with their white criminals. You can see them under the “Male Bashing Commercial” section. Anytime I’ve ever had a home security alarm and accidentally tripped it, some sumbitch from Pok-ee-stahn would eventually call me 20 minutes later asking for the @#&* code word I could never remember!
Here’s a little filly who also has noticed Broadview sells their service by scaring the heck out of white women! Pretty good stuff:
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go clean my home security system. It’s a Remington 870 loaded with #1 buckshot. And it’s not from Pok-ee-stahn either!
HANES, MICHAEL JORDAN AND THEIR MALE-BASHING COMMERCIAL SUCK!
MICHAEL JORDAN - WHITE MALES AND WHITE HO'S ADORE HIM..OR SOMETHING
This is one white male-bashing commercial so bad it’s surprising someone actually made it! Michael Jordan comes off looking like the arrogant jerk he is in real life. Of course, Hanes has a history of making white males look like idiots kissing Jordan’s pompous ass in commercials trying to sell underwear. When he wasn’t beating the hell out of his wife, actor and waste of oxygen Charlie Sheen even filmed a couple of these crass disasters. Must have needed bail money.
Where does Hanes get the idea that white men idolize Michael Jordan? Do they see white men in their thirties to fifties buying overpriced $200 Jordan tennis shoes? Sure, in our sports-crazy nation, there’s a segment of the male population that may believe Jordan is their idol. They’re called losers. Michael Jordan is a large person who could bounce a ball better than most. A notorious womanizer…recently tied in with chasing boo-tay with Tiger Woods…with an out of control gambling habit, Jordan is hardly the type of person I’d have my sons emulate. Plus, the last time Jordan was relevant was in ten years ago or more!
These commercials are always the same. Goofy, small white guy tries to gain Michael Jordan’s attention by pointing out they wear the same underwear he does. AWD has had a lot of friends and acquaintances over the years but I guarantee you what underwear we use has never been discussed. This commercial shows a small, nerdy, annoying white male trying to gain Jordan’s acceptance as a cool guy by making fun of another goofy white guy because the collar on his undershirt had curled. Annoying white guy then tells Jordan they are alike because their undershirts are pressed. Jordan rudely tells the guy, “no, we’re not.” Man, I don’t know about you but that makes me want to buy some undershirts! Why not have the white guy ask Jordan if he can give the Pythagorean theorem? Nah, that would be racist and besides, Jordan has most likely never heard of Pythagoras.
AWD couldn’t find a photo of Hanes’ Board of Directors but did find their corporate officers. Of 9 officers, 7 are white male devils. I wonder if they kiss Michael Jordan’s ass every time they send him a check? Shame on Hanes for wasting our time with these stupid commercials. I have no problem with Hanes giving their money to Michael Jordan to blow in the casinos or on blonde ho’s with Tiger…I just don’t like them wasting my time with more PC, BS male-bashing crap! Michael Jordan and Hanes can keep their drawers!
JEWELRY EXCHANGE’S MALE BASHING COMMERCIAL KILLS THE MOMENT!
It’s hard to believe the people who run The Jewelry Exchange believe the following commercial would entice a young man to buy a ring to put on the finger of his young curvy little filly! This commercial does a remarkable job of illustrating why this young fella should put his money into a Harley instead of an engagement ring. Here you go:
Yep, just what every young man wants! Some materialistic, spoiled, you-know-what for the rest of his life…or that is, until the material girl divorces him and takes everything he has and will have the rest of his life! How many womerns like this have we known? The part where she squirts him with the hose because he didn’t get the right ring is one of the more moving parts of the spot. It moved AWD to think had he been that poor slob, I’d have put material girl over the hood and introduced her to a garden hose enema until water squirted out her ears! This young man should say the greatest word in the English language after ending a bad relationship….Next?
This commercial points out the negative aspects of marriage if one chooses the wrong filly. I can tell you being alone is much better than being miserable!
AWD can think of nobody better to discuss why a young man should not get married than Don Giovanni from Garrison Keillor’s The Book of Guys. Don Giovanni is a short story and AWD has parts memorized because it’s so dead on accurate…even if the book was written from some libtard, socialist Minnesotan! Here’s an example of words of wisdom from the Don:
Marriage looks very appealing until you are in the company of
married people and then the horrors of the institution cry out to you,
said the Don. Marriage is for women, ugly women. It makes no
sense for men. It never did.
The married guy has to have an airtight explanation for everything
he does by himself. If he wants to go for a *walk around the block*
alone, he has to invent an excuse for not taking his beloved with him.
To get up out of his chair and go into the kitchen and run a glass of tap water, he has to announce to his wife, like a child in the third grade, or else she will say, “Where are you going? To the kitchen? For a glass of tap water? Fine. Why can’t you say so? Why do you *always just wander away without saying a word?* You wouldn’t treat anybody else that way. How do I know if you’re going to the kitchen or going to New Orleans for a week? And it would’ve been nice if you’d offered to bring *me* something from the kitchen. But no. You just get up and walk away. I could be sitting here dying and you’d never notice.” Then she bursts into tears, grieving for herself and her future death. This is marriage.
A single guy can walk around without explaining it to anyone. He
can also go to New Orleans. This gives a man a dignified feeling,
knowing that you could, if you wanted to, drive somewhere. Or drive
*nowhere*, just cruise around with the top down soaking up rays and
laying down rubber. Married guys can’t go nowhere. There always has to be a plan, a list of errands, a system, a destination. Alone, your life is intuitive, like poetry. With a woman, it’s a form of bookkeeping.
A home belongs to the oldest woman inhabitant, no matter what.
Every day, a man has to get her permission to come in, to use the toilet, to draw oxygen from the air, to keep his things in the closet. The permission is always conditional, and some of her rules are never
explained: some secret rules (No Loitering, No Unnecessary Conversation, No Putting Things There, No Whistling, No Guests, We Reserve the Right to Change the Terms of This Agreement) are kept for emergencies.
And a married guy is responsible for *everything*, no matter what.
Women, thanks to having been oppressed all these years, are blameless, free as birds, and all the dirt they do is the result of premenstrual syndrome or postmenstrual stress or menopause or emotional disempowerment by their fathers or low expectations by their teachers or latent unspoken sexual harassment in the workplace, or some other airy excuse. The guy alone is responsible for every day of marriage that is less than marvelous and meaningful.
“Why don’t we ever make love anymore?” That is the No. 2 all-time
woman’s question in the world. No. 1 is: “Why don’t we ever talk to each other?” Now there’s a great conversational opener. You’re ensconced on the couch, perusing the funny papers, sipping your hot toddy, feeling mellow and beloved, and she plops down full of anger and premenstrual uproar, and says “Why don’t we ever talk to each other? Why do you treat me as if I don’t exist?” You take her hand. “What do you want to talk about, my beloved?” “You and your utter lack of interest in communicating with me, that’s what,” she snaps, yanking her hand back.
“My love, light of my life, my interest in you is as vast as the
Great Plans. Share with me what is in your heart so that we may draw
close in the great duet of matrimony.”
But she didn’t want to converse, of course, she only meant to strike
a blow. “Humph,” she says, standing up. “I know you. You are only
saying that.”
That is marriage, Figaro. A boy’s constant struggle to maintain his
buoyancy.
I hope that poor kid washing his soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend’s car and getting squirted reads AWD or get’s himself a copy of The Book of Guys! Womerns! Can’t live with ‘em…can’t live with ‘em!
Here’s the entire short story for those lovers out there:
http://www.loveblender.com/prose/giovanni.html
CHEERIOS DISGUSTING MALE BASHING COMMERCIAL
Boys, this is a commercial that will make you just want to blow up and explode just like Elvis did! In our politically correct crap society, white men are the butts, idiots, weaklings or morons in commercials. We’re used to that. I’m not sure why the people in the commercial making “bidness” won’t get off of this trend. Maybe only little fillies out there spending all the money on goods and services! Hell, I know my ex-wife would spend $10,000 to watch a goat piss. But men do a lot of buying too. Does insulting us make us want to buy products from companies that portray us as idiots?
Cheerios must be trying to attract either wimpy girlymen or cynical, grouchy hags with their latest commercial. Watch this:
Watching this moron try to dance around his bitchy wife makes me want to RAAALLLPH! He sees a bowl of Cheerios has only 110 calories and simply asks “are you watching your weight?” She immediately is offended and says “do I need to watch my weight?” He then starts falling all over himself trying to talk himself out of a reasonable question. I would have said, “hell yes you need to lose some weight you big damn bufforilla! Your ass has gotten so big it’s getting its own congressman!” But Lance the hairdresser keeps babbling on like a whipped puppy trying to get approval yet she is unimpressed by all his pathetic ramblings! Finally, she asks, “what else does the box say?” His wussy answer….”it says shut up, Steve.” No, it says, “watch out Steve because AWD is going to give you a slap!” AWD would told that witch “oh, are you finished? Well, allow me to retort! The box also says ‘fat ass wife, walk east until your fat ass floats because Steve’s going to Costa Rica’!” The bitchy wife’s scolding look of victory in her eyes in the final scene is what really puts me in jail. If she looked at me that way, she’d be wearing that damn cereal bowl for a hat as my ass headed out the door for Costa Rica.
This politically correct BS has young men growing up to be wusses. Up until the 70′s, manhood was something to be celebrated! Especially American men! We made things, we did things and women loved us. Then the 70′s hit with pitiful wimps like Alan Alda (may panties be upon him) and Phil Donahue (may AWD’s foot be in his ass!) came on the scene trying to be feminists. A man can’t really be a feminist..he can only act like a wuss. I don’t apologize for not acting like a frightened child around women…or anyone else! I don’t pretend that women can do everything men can do and vice versa. I’ve never seen a woman throw a 95 mph fastball and don’t look to either! On the other hand, there are lots of things women can do better than men. Parallel parking is not one of them. I like guns, knives, flashlights, hunting, sports, music and guy things. I don’t care much for girly man things. I don’t moisturize.
Liberals have beaten men down and our young crop of dudes are so unsure of themselves it’s pathetic. Young men are taught to believe men being like women is what women want. Politically correct, feminine metrosexuals who are basically women with male units. There are women of both sexes, you know.
It is this pitiful feminine behavior on the part of men that has put us in the sad position we now find ourselves. Do you think American men worried about racially profiling Japs in America after Pearl Harbor? Hell no, they did what they thought was right at the time and locked their little Japanese asses up. We’re so screwed up now that American leaders cannot bring themselves to call Islamic terrorism Islamic terrorism. Men in America have become a country of politically correct losers….like the French! One only has to look at this Cheerios commercial to see what I’m speaking about.
I cannot begin to explain the contempt I have for “Steve” or his bitchy wife in this spot. They both, to me, represents everything wrong with political correctness. Women are given the latitude to be complete you know whats while men are expected to hand over their balls immediately to any woman they enter into a relationship with. Maybe I’m reading too much into a cereal commercial but I don’t think so!
PROGRESSIVE INSURANCE WRECKS WHITE MALES!
WIPE THAT SH*T-EATING GRIN OFF YOUR FACE, FLO!
In a series of previously posted…but still pretty damn good…AWD pieces, here’s one that is worthy of review. I’ve been seeing too many Progressive Insurance commercials lately! Flo? You’re welcome to join in on this subject….I know you’re reading AWD!
You’d have to look as far as Billy Mays…oh wait..BILLY MAYS to find someone more annoying than Flo from the Progressive Insurance commercials. If that little Englishter Geico lizard isn’t looking out at me every time I turn on the TV, I have Billy Mays screaming at me to buy some space age dillybobber or this annoying Flo selling boxes of insurance to mousy white guys! I’d like to give her a big tricked out name tag all right!
Progressive’s commercials are getting progressively worse! But their treatment of white guys falls in line with other enemies of white guys like Pella Windows, FedEx, the now defunct (after AWD withdrew his billions) Washington Mutual and Verizon who insult white males. Don’t believe me? When has AWD ever lied to you? Well…that was a long time ago! Here’s one about a guy buying insurance for his motorcycle, boat and a RV…the basic staples of life for men:
Go to :24 of the clip and look at the wife’s expression. Classic American woman who doesn’t control every little molecule of air in her husband’s lungs! Wait until he tells her about the 19 year old exchange student from Sweden he just signed them up for! But no, he stands there like a scolded dog while his boss (wife) glares at him! Bet he didn’t glare at her when she bought a Louis Vuitton stupid ugly purse that cost more than his new Glock (he hasn’t told her about yet). After all, she just HAD to have it! Anyway, here’s another with the politically correct white nerd du jour:
Two words for you Clarence: Take the freaking bus! Anybody that nerdy and timid is probably driving one of those new Volkswagens in that awful snot green color with the little flowers in it! Probably listening to Air Supply too! Why does Progressive insist of showing nerdy, timid or homo guys? No homo, you say? Well watch these two poofters:
Did you notice the rainbow shirt on Lance? Detective AWD did. No doubt these two “sensitive guys” have seen one up close! Poor Lance has lost his watch to Glenn, the hairdresser! And he needs to save money so Glenn will return it without having himself a little hissy fit! And it’s so hard to be fabulous without a snappy wristwatch while sashaying down the avenues of San Francisco! Two snaps!!
Timid, henpecked, nerdy or homo, Progressive Insurance takes all kinds of shots at us regular guys! And annoys the hell out of us all the while! As much as I’d like to squash that little annoying lizard from Geico, I’d like to use some Billy Mays Crazy Glue to permanently close that gigantic piehole of Flo! Nobody can be that happy to be a checkout girl!
Oh, and the Board of Directors of this company that ridicules white men? You got it…a bunch of white devils, two babushkas and a brother! Here’s the link:
http://investors.progressive.com/board.aspx
WOW! THAT’S ANOTHER STUPID WHITE MALE BASHING COMMERCIAL!
Wow! Staples loves to make white guys look stupid! Wow! Check out their white Executive bios! Wow! Is this one of the most annoying commercials ever produced?
Laugh, I thought I’d die! Wow! That’s a low price! Hilarious! Where do they find writing talent like that? ACORN? The idiot white guy genre ran its course many moons ago. Maybe Staples should go the way of Progressive Insurance and feature white wussies in their spots! Or maybe women are the buyers of office products and seeing an idiot white guy unconsciously makes them buy more White-Out, I don’t know.
Here’s another Staples gem. This time with the idiot white guy boss. Of course, the smart one is an ethnic women. What would we do without them?
Thank goodness for smart ethnic women. In both these commercials, they either facilitate stupid white men’s shopping experience or instruct them to use the Easy Button. Brilliant! After watching these Staple’s spots, all I can say is “Wow! Those are stupid and annoying commercials!” Shame on politically correct Staples for following the tried and true method of marketing by making fun of white guys!
WOULD CHARLIE SHEEN PLEASE LEAVE US ALONE?
PLEASE CHARLIE, HAVEN'T WE SUFFERED ENOUGH?
Angry White Dude would rather be locked on a six month gay cruise than have to watch anything with Charlie Sheen. It’s no secret. Charlie Sheen is a nutjob with the morals of a drunk Mexican. He gets it honestly. His father, Martin Sheen is a communist moron who fights for the struggling masses…whoever they are. As long as they don’t clutter up Sheen’s neighborhood in Malibu, that is. His son Charlie is something to be proud of. Charlie spent his twenties running around with hookers from the Heidi Fleisch House of Fun. He has been addicted to drugs and alcohol…standard diet for Hollywierd libtards and most recently was arrested in Aspen for choking his new wife in a drunken rage. A real prince. A few months ago, Sheen demanded a meeting with Hussein Hopenchange to discuss the truth about 9/11. You see, Charlie has been doing some real research while not running with ho’s, taking drugs, getting drunk as a whale fart and beating the bejeezes out of his wife du jour. He said if Obama had time to read with school children, he must find time to meet with movie stars who raised millions for him. I think Charlie is on Obama’s list right after the Sewage Manager from Akron…which will put the meeting way into Obama’s second term (which means it won’t happen).
What is it with these Hollywood types? Is it because people kiss their spoiled asses they think they know everything? Are they that removed from reality? I know they pretend for a living but damn! Hell, morons like Sean Penn didn’t even finish high school but will lay a politically correct filibuster on you about scientific models of global warming. It makes me appreciate the statement by Alice Cooper who said, “anyone who gets their political opinions from rock stars is more stupid than we are.”
Charlie Sheen is a lukewarm talented actor. I’ve never cared for him as he has no personality and has that smarmy look to him. He’s the kind of guy you just want to backhand. Please Charlie, go away like your brother Emilio Estevez did. He did the right thing. Any offspring of Martin Sheen is offspring the good people of Earth do not need to hear from. Haven’t we suffered enough?
Sheen’s lates Hanes commercials with Michael Jordan are just painful to watch. He must have some alimony payments due to humiliate himself in such a pathetic manner. Michael Jordan, while a great basketball player, is a scumbag too in real life. Watching the white male-bashing style commercial of the white guy smitten with the cool black guy got old a long time ago. Maybe Charlie should look into wearing panties. Here’s what I mean:
Here’s his video to Obama on 9/11 being a hoax. He actually spent time doing this. Thank you Charlie!
DR. PEPPER’S WHITE AND FATHER BASHING COMMERCIALS
GENE, HOW LOW HAVE YOU FALLEN?
You wanted the best, you got the best! The hottest band in the world with a bass player who has a smart-assed kid with no talent….KISS! Dr. Pepper has launched a new series of commercials that not only bash males, they also bash white fathers. Here’s the one with Gene Simmons of KISS:
I know parents love their children and want to help them. But if you’re a rock god in the guise of a demon vampire with a 9 inch tongue, you don’t need your bratty kid correcting you on how to pronounce the name of the band you started 35 years ago! It’s humiliating is what it is! Children should respect their parents! When I was a kid, my parents told me “children should be seen, not heard.” I tried to remember that saying whenever I could unchain myself from the wall in our basement.
This commercial was a bad move on Gene’s part. I mean what are those babes sitting around Gene supposed to think? The rock demon taking lip off his skinny kid? Maybe Gene should start singing, “I wanna rock and roll all night, but my kid won’t let me out of the house.” I would recommend Gene get up, tell Jr. to get a job, and give him a slap for disrespecting his father. If further inclined, Gene might spit fire on his kid and melt his face! After this commercial, Gene might want to consider hanging up the dragon boots and codpiece! I hear Linda Ronstadt is looking for a bass player.
Gene’s commercial shows he has not taught his kid to respect his elders. The next Dr. Pepper commercial is more predictable. It shows black rapper (scientific name: rapperious felonius negroidus) Dr. Dre (yee-uhh!) shoving the white wigger MC (scientific name: douche baggerous erectus) away from the turntable to show how a true professional MC does it. Notice nobody is dancing while DJ Douche Bag is spinning disks and he looks like a fool writing in contortions. Dr. Dre pushes MC Douche Bag aside, puts a can of Dr. Pepper on the turntable, slows it down and in an instant the dance floor is packed! Just like magic! I knew Dr. Dre would know just what to do! Trust him, he says, he’s a doctor (yee-uhh!). Here’s the commercial:
So that’s the secret to being a MC? Putting a soda can on the record? Yee-uhh! I’m not sure if AWD can think of a job that requires less talent than rapping. Perhaps being a Hollywood actor is one since many rappers are in movies but very few actors are rappers. This commercial goes out of it’s way to show the black Dr. Dre is cool while white DJ Douche Bag is a…..well, douche bag. I don’t have any of Dr. Dre’s rap songs but I imagine if I did I would find a bunch of stolen recorded music with filthy lyrics about violence, bitches and ho’s, drugs and such. How exciting! I think I’m gonna throw my hands in the air and party like I just don’t care! Yeee-uhh!
So Dr. Pepper not only follows the overdone route of the stupid white guy with the cool black guy, they now have gone the route of the child humiliating the parent. Hell, maybe Gene Simmons should forget about Linda Ronstadt and try his hand at rapping. Yee-uhh!
YELLOWBOOK WHITE MALE BASHING COMMERCIAL
Yellowbook has been running their version of the bumbling idiot husband commercial. In this version of the B.I.H genre, the husband comes falling into the house, knocking over lamps and such to announce to his wife he has gotten a job with a dynamite company doing field work. Get it? What I don’t get is why would anyone use Yellowbook for anything? Ever heard of a little thing called THE INTERNET? You know, the thing Al Gore invented before he invented global warming…oops…climate change? Here’s the commercial:
Who is Yellowbook? I guess Yellowbook is the weak sister to Yellow Pages but who knows? Is there really that much demand for Yellow Pages or Yellow Books these days? As usual, AWD Googled the Board of Directors of the company doing the male bashing. And guess what I found? Oh, I’ll give you three guesses and the first two don’t count! That’s right….a bunch of white guys! Wonder if they can work with dynamite?
One interesting thing…the CEO of Yellowbook is Joe Walsh! I guess he hung up his six string after the last Eagle’s tour. Probably got sick of listening to that browbeating tool Don Henley preach about global warming….oops…climate change.
Here are the photos of the Executive team of white devils:
http://corporate.yellowbook.com/about/executive-team/
PROGRESSIVE INSURANCE LATEST MALE-BASHING COMMERCIAL
TOM BRADY WITH MAN PURSE. TELLING, VERY TELLING!
Oh, AWD could put one of these up about every three weeks. That seems to be the schedule of releasing the next insulting, male-bashing Progressive Insurance commercial. They seem to be out of creativity in making the man look like a fool. Now they’re using cheap props. In the latest snoozer, the chubby husband is drug by the over-demanding wife..who runs his pathetic life..to shop “as long as it takes” for car insurance. Well, because of Progressive’s supposed technology, Mr. Tubby and his b*tch-ass wife get the answer sooner than they thought! Wow! Great stuff. But then Flo notices the man purse.
First of all, no man should ever own or be in possession of a man-purse unless he is a liberal or a “sensitive guy.” Another reason not to own one is man purses come from Europe, birthplace of homos. Notice the docile, feminine way the wuss in the commercial speaks? If AWD was walking by, I’d be more than tempted to lay an industrial strength, un-sanctioned inverted suplex on Mr. Poofter and tell him to grow a pair and speak up! He should tell his pushy wife there is no %&*# chance he would wear some sissified, homo-looking, European girly man device! Then he should hammer-throw that sumbitch into the next county. Next year, she better find her little snotty ass in Sears buying some Craftsman tools or in a gun shop buying something that goes bang! Man purse! I get so mad I’m about to go heave my laptop bag into my redneck neighbor Neil’s yard across the street!
Flo wrote AWD after I criticized her one time in an earlier post. She said she was a conservative but the director of the commercials was a pillow-biter and hired all his poofter friends and she didn’t have any control. I realize this is probably a good gig for Flo but damn! Isn’t it time to go squash that little green Englishter lizard at Geico and save Geico 15% by keeping their annoying commercials off the air! At least Geico could let the Cavemen eat the little green varmint! I tell you, with homos and man-purses and little green lizards and that annoying AFLAC duck I’d love to stomp with cleats…it is getting where AWD can’t watch a football game in peace anymore! Crap! I think I just squashed Neil’s little yapper dog with my laptop bag!
LOWE’S DOES THE STUPID DAD COMMERCIAL
There’s so many of these it’s hard to keep up with them all. Here we have Lowe’s weighing in with a good, old fashioned…make that new fashioned….politically correct “Dad is an idiot” commercial! I’m not sure who writes commercials but they must hate their fathers. In this commercial, the cliche overweight dad is telling the smart-ass son how he bargained to have Lowe’s provide free delivery and remove the old refrigerator (that he could have sold on Craigslist for $50 AND had someone else haul it off) while the kid smirks. At the end of the commercial, you see the Lowe’s truck that tells you they offer free delivery and will haul off your old refrigerator. OK, so the dad was blowing a little smoke. Maybe he wouldn’t need to if he was appreciated and honored for providing a good life for his spoiled family! Maybe the kid wouldn’t smirk and treat the old man like an idiot if he was put in a flying headlock! That’s a commercial I’d love to see!
Let AWD tell you about Lowe’s. AWD is from Charlotte originally and Lowe’s, headquartered in NC, was once one of my clients. I have never seen a company treat employees worse. Negative reinforcement and jerk bosses ruled the Lowe’s roost. They were a very difficult client and always wanted something for nothing. I always felt sorry for the line employees who were treated like animals. I don’t know if anything has changed but I doubt it. So Lowe’s can kiss this white dad’s ass! They could make a commercial tossing pies at Al Sharpton and I wouldn’t shop there!
Here’s the stupid, PC commercial:
HELP BRINKS! A WHITE MAN IS BREAKING INTO MY HOUSE!
WATCH OUT FOR THIS MENACE!
Brinks just can’t leave it alone! They just have to keep putting out their moronic white male-bashing commercials with equally moronic white male criminals! Every single commercial that Brinks puts out has some white guy in a hooded sweatshirt either peeking through a fence around a house in the middle of suburbia during the middle of the day or some fat ex-boyfriend kicking in the door because his ex-girlfriend has a date! Like a white guy is going to be peering through the fence in plain site of everyone before he kicks in the FRONT door! AWD is not a criminal and doesn’t really have a criminal mind but, damn, what kind of white moron criminal kicks in the front door in the middle of the day? And I love the overweight loser who lost the good looking girlfriend and waits in his car RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER HOUSE and waits to break in THE FRONT DOOR to terrorize his ex!
The other thing that bugs me about Brinks commercials is the Brinks white guy on the phone always calls within 2 seconds of the alarm going off. I once had Brinks home alarm service before I realized what a scam it was. Once I accidentally set off the alarm but didn’t push the button to notify them it was me. It took so long for them to call a criminal could have killed me, cooked me, eaten me and moved in for a month or two! Here’s a reproduction of my experience with Ghandi from Mumbai with Brinks:
Brinks guy: Halloooo Meester Ahngry Dood? Everyting OK is dere, yes?
AWD: What did you say Haji?
Brinks guy: De alarm go off your home. Do you have password?
AWD: What the hell did you say? Oh….password…yes, I have it! If I remember right it is LEARN TO SPEAK ENGLISH TARGET-HEAD!
Brinks guy: Cahn I put you on hold for a minute?
AWD: Click.
Brinks has gone the route of the stupid, insidious white male-bashing route rather than face the un-political correct truth that the majority of criminals are not white! Most criminals who break into houses are not white! There may be some but white guys definitely don’t make up the entire population of stupid criminals as portrayed in Brinks Home Security commercials! You think perchance maybe a black guy or Mexican might be doing some crimes in reality? Nahhh…that would not be realistic at all! Plus, it would be racist!
Brinks joins the other shameful companies with their white male bashing, embarrassing, deceitful, unrealistic commercials. Wouldn’t the women in those commercials being terrorized by the stupid white criminals be better off with a Remington 870 Wingmaster with #1 buckshot? If they would subscribe to AWD’s GIER program (Gun In Every Room) they wouldn’t have to wait weeks for the Brinks guy to call from Bangladesh!
Here’s the Texas Top Ten Most Wanted. Only two white devils out of the ten!
http://www.txdps.state.tx.us/wanted/
See you see anything similar in these commercials!
I rest my case!
BUD LIGHT BEER’S WHITE MALE BASHING COMMERCIAL
Commercials are generally awful. I hate me a commercial! I hate that little green lizard from Geico. I’d grind his little green guts all over the floor if I could! Geico could save 15% or more if they’d stop spending millions on commercials making us watch that little green foreign varmint! Flo from Progressive…it ought to be a felony to make anyone recite lines as bad as those! (Disclaimer: Flo wrote AWD and stated she is a conservative and Progressive is only a gig…so I cut her a little slack) If it ain’t the lizard or Flo, it’s that damn Peyton Manning or his brother! Lord, please forgive me for all the sins in my life and save me from the Hell of watching another 43 Peyton Manning commercials during every football game! Never let it be said the Angry White Dude likes commercials!
Watching Monday Night Football between Miami and the Jets…where we saw the first penalty called in Espanol…woot woot!…I saw this incredibly stupid waste of time from Bud Light:
First of all, the guy in the commercial needs to read AWD if he wants to learn how to find himself a curvy babushka….not some pale-faced, Volvo-driving, PMS-addled, take back the night marching, Visualize World Peace bumperstickin’, Hope and Change voting feminasty like the one he’s trapped in the car with! She probably had him listening to Melissa Etheridge too! I hope he was only getting a ride from her to hook up for a night out with the boys. Ohhh….so she wants to break up? Whoop-de-freaking do! Go ahead Hillary, see what it gets you! But try to push me out of a car and you got big problems, Missy! You’ll be lucky if I don’t Hong Kong on your 1973 Volvo! But what does Lance the sensitive guy do? At the end of the commercial he whines “I’ll write you on Facebook!” Facebook? He needs to tell her to drive that piece of crap Volvo East until her hat floats!
This Bud Light commericial is just another step in the wussification of the American male. I guaran-damn-tee that poofter in the commercial hasn’t even shot a firearm…let alone own one…or twelve. And you know that ain’t right! Young guys see these commercials and get caught up with touchy-feely womanly traits. Pretty soon you’ll hear them using the word “relationship” every few sentences! They start watching soccer which can only lead to watching Oprah. And that can only lead to one thing….drinking Perrier and Evian water! Before you know it they’re queer guys for the straight guys telling un-wussified guys the only way to attract a fine filly is dress and act like a homosexule! So thanks for nothing Bud Light! I think I’m going to go roof my house!
WHITE CRIMINALS LOVE BRINKS SECURITY PROTECTED HOMES!
Angry White Dude just doesn’t understand it! Why do houses protected with Brinks Home Security attract so many white male criminals? I mean, when we play Insert Your City Top Ten Most Wanted on Google, the vast majority of the criminals listed are not white devils. It must be something about those Brinks signs in the front yard that reels those white fellows in like a 1/2 off sale at Brooks Brothers or the new soy mocha latte at Starbucks! Mmmmm…now that’s what white criminals like……and then off to a Brinks protected home!
What AWD also finds interesting in these commercials is once whitey breaks down the door the Brinks handsome, professional white telephone dude calls to see if everything’s all right before the splinters have hit the ground. If anyone has had a monitored home security system and accidentally set it off, you know it takes about 15 minutes for some guy in India to call and say…”Hallo, I ahm Hadji, your home she ees ok yes? Let me put you on hold.” You could be dead and have rigor mortis set in by the time these tools get around to calling the 5-0! And who knows how long it will take your local police to arrive. You may be mummified by the time Officer Friendly rolls up with Krispy Kreme on his breath. AWD subscribes to the “G-I-E-R” home security method. That would be the tried and proven Gun In Every Room method. You see, I’m not stupid enough to believe Brinks or the local police will save me from Brad the yuppie white criminal. But I am confident that my Remington 1100 with #1 buckshot might convince Brad to give up his life of crime and return to the stock brokerage. And with the Castle Laws in Texas, son! I start chambering rounds when my neighbor lets his dog poop on my lawn!
So don’t waste your money on Brinks! Buy yourself a 1911 .45 ACP and feed it some 230 grain hollowpoints. By the time Hadji calls you from India you can have him call the morgue and order up a toe-tag for Brad, Pedro or LaShontae…pick your flavor of criminal!
Check out the white criminal in this spot. A guy that looks this “wicked retahded” (as they say in Bahston) probably couldn’t rob himself:
Here’s my favorite home security commercial of all time. This one has the AWD Seal of Approval! Let’s see Brinks do this!! Now that’s what I’m talking ’bout!
WINDEX TELLS WHITE MEN TO KISS ITS GLASS!
DON'T ASK YOUR MAN IF HE WANTS TO CLEAN THE POOL ON SATURDAY!
Windex has made several of the “stupid white guy” commercials. Here’s another. This one has the beautiful wife married to the fat, white guy. He’s of course lazy…out sitting by the pool reading the paper while his warden (wife) wants those windows cleaned pronto! She makes a bet who can do their chore first…her with Windex window cleaner or him cleaning the pool. He’s shown with an ignorant look on his face and the last shot shows him pushing his wife on a float in the pool. Of course, he lost the bet. He’s only a stupid, fat white male!
First of all, the wife should have been thrown immediately in the pool for interrupting this guy’s peaceful perusing of the funnies. She intruded in his space and should have to deal with the consequences. Also, it’s obviously a Saturday and no man should have to clean or do household chores on a Saturday. This poor guy is hiding at the edge of the house trying to get away from anybody asking him stupid questions like “hey, wanna clean the pool?” Let me think about it real hard…NO! I want to read my paper! That’s why I’m reading the paper and not cleaning the pool! I work hard all week, slugging it out with the competition and butthole customers and my stupid woman boss Barbara (actual name of one of AWD’s previous stupid woman bosses) who couldn’t find her butt with a 10 man hunting party much less make a informed business decision! You’re about to get on the fighting side of me and believe me, little filly, you’re gonna lose! Big time! So clean them damn windows by yourself and when you’re finished get on that pool! When you have the pool tip-top, get in there and bring me a big ol’ sammich! Chop Chop!
Wonder why we don’t see any commercials like that? I might buy some Windex if I did! But I wouldn’t clean those windows, I have the paper to read!
PROGRESSIVE INSURANCE’S POWER TO THE (GIRLYMEN) PEOPLE COMMERCIAL
I know, I know, Angry White Dude just recently went off on Progressive Insurance’s annoying series of commercials starring the uber-annoying Flo! After learning that Progressive Insurance’s founder is a George Soros-like liberal commie rat might explain why they continually show white men as wimps or worse. We’ve seen the guy who bought a boat and a motorcycle come under the evil death glaze of his wife (warden), the two “sensitive homo guys” wearing a rainbow shirt wanting to buy car insurance for their Volkswagen Beetle with the gay little flowers in it, and now we see a wimpy half-a-sissy guy who needs a big ol’ shot of John Wayne. Maybe more than one!
In this waste of 30 seconds, the annoying Flo hands (I’ll call him) Lance the price gun and tells him he has the power to price his own insurance plan. Never, I repeat never, has the world seen a more timid little sh*t than Lance. He makes Boy George look like Rambo. He makes Obama look like Hillary! I don’t know why I hate this commercial as much as I do but I suspect it’s because Flo is as annoying as Sham Wow guy Vince. Plus, I have little tolerance for wimpy Caspar Milquetoast poofters too timid to take that price gun out of Flo’s hand, smash it to the ground and say, “I don’t need no stinking price gun to buy my car eensurance!” Power to the people, indeed!
Watch this. Tell me you don’t want to give Lance a slap!
PROGRESSIVE INSURANCE WRECKS WHITE MALES
SHUT THAT GIGANTIC PIE HOLE!
You’d have to look as far as Billy Mays…oh wait..BILLY MAYS to find someone more annoying than Flo from the Progressive Insurance commercials. If that little Englishter Geico lizard isn’t looking out at me every time I turn on the TV, I have Billy Mays screaming at me to buy some space age dillybobber or this annoying Flo selling boxes of insurance to mousy white guys! I’d like to give her a big tricked out name tag all right!
Progressive’s commercials are getting progressively worse! But their treatment of white guys falls in line with other enemies of white guys like Pella Windows, FedEx, the now defunct (after AWD withdrew his billions) Washington Mutual and Verizon who insult white males. Don’t believe me? When has AWD ever lied to you? Well…that was a long time ago! Here’s one about a guy buying insurance for his motorcycle, boat and a RV…the basic staples of life for men:
Go to :24 of the clip and look at the wife’s expression. Classic American woman who doesn’t control every little molecule of air in her husband’s lungs! Wait until he tells her about the 19 year old exchange student from Sweden he just signed them up for! But no, he stands there like a scolded dog while his boss (wife) glares at him! Bet he didn’t glare at her when she bought a Louis Vuitton stupid ugly purse that cost more than his new Glock (he hasn’t told her about yet). After all, she just HAD to have it! Anyway, here’s another with the politically correct white nerd du jour:
Two words for you Clarence: Take the freaking bus! Anybody that nerdy and timid is probably driving one of those new Volkswagens in that awful snot green color with the little flowers in it! Probably listening to Air Supply too! Why does Progressive insist of showing nerdy, timid or homo guys? No homo, you say? Well watch these two poofters:
Did you notice the rainbow shirt on Lance? Detective AWD did. No doubt these two “sensitive guys” have seen one up close! Poor Lance has lost his watch to Glenn, the hairdresser! And he needs to save money so Glenn will return it without having himself a little hissy fit! And it’s so hard to be fabulous without a snappy wristwatch while sashaying down the avenues of San Francisco! Two snaps!!
Timid, henpecked, nerdy or homo, Progressive Insurance takes all kinds of shots at us regular guys! And annoys the hell out of us all the while! As much as I’d like to squash that little annoying lizard from Geico, I’d like to use some Billy Mays Crazy Glue to permanently close that gigantic piehole of Flo! Nobody can be that happy to be a checkout girl!
Oh, and the Board of Directors of this company that ridicules white men? You got it…a bunch of white devils, two babushkas and a brother! Here’s the link:
http://investors.progressive.com/board.aspx
HOTELS.COM WHITE MALE BASHING COMMERCIAL BLOWS
This commercial just doesn’t even look right! I know you’ve seen it by now and had the same thought. Of course, it’s the old political correct plot of the smart black man and the idiot, fat, bald, ugly, stupid…take your choice…white guys looking like fools. Angry White Dude loves customer service as much as the next angry white guy. But two guys blowing through straws into my bathtub just seems a little Bawney Fwank to me!
This tired old political correct genre of commercials is way past its expiration date. Since we’re in the post-racial era of America where a black man can be President (or try), shouldn’t we see two black guys blowing the bathtub of a white smart guy? Shouldn’t we see ADT home security’s robbers and rapists be something other than white guys? Looking at crime statistics, whites are not the big problem in committing crimes so why must we always be the perpetrators in commercials? Because it is politically correct! White people don’t boycott or cause trouble! We simply take the hit and keep moving forward!
So as for this commercial, I’d tell Hotels.com to pound sand if they wanted me to blow in the tub of anyone! Blowing in a tub ain’t no job for a man! Hotels.com should be ashamed for producing such a pitiful commercial that makes me want to Ralph. This commercial just blows!
IT’S CLEAR! PELLA WINDOWS HATES WHITE MEN!
Pella Windows is back to their old politically correct tricks! It has to be summer when we see another series in the Pella windows “white guys are idiots” commercials. You’ll recall last summer when Pella ran the commercial of two women admiring the new Pella bay windows while outside the moron, overweight white husband was stumbling around in the backyard falling all over the grill. I think it ended up with him blowing up the grill while the women nonchalantly discussed the windows. Typical!
In the latest “Pella hates white men” commercial, the homeowners are going to replace their windows only to be subjected to the entire spectrum of white male stereotype salesmen…the nerd wearing a bow-tie, overweight Joe Sixpack and the sleazy not-to-be-trusted white guy. But then Jamie, the Pella sales babe, rings the door….the music starts and all is good again in PoliticallyCorrectville where this couple lives! Jamie is able to answer their questions and make them happy. To finish it off with one last swipe at white guys, the nerd salesman is waiting at the door. Let me ask you…how many white men outside of the un-funky George Will…wear a bow tie? Pella should be ashamed to ridicule white men. I’m sure ol’ man Pella was a whitey. I’m sure the President and Chairman of the Board are white devils too! Pella should take note of the last company that ran foul of AWD. The politically correct Washington Mutual! We all know where they are now. In the dustbin of history….thrown out on the heap of politically correct companies AWD has destroyed! MWAHAHAHAHA!
Angry White Dude looked for a photo of Pella’s Board of Directors. No photos or list on their web page. Maybe they’re the goofy white guys in the commercial!
Also, here is the Corporate PR person in case you want to call her and let her know you won’t be buying Pellas anytime soon:
Kathy Harkema
Pella Corporation
Corporate Public Relations
641-621-6971