AWD, Bread and Circuses, Conservative Thought, In The Press, Politics, Random Posts, War on America

ANGRY WHITE DUDE BUYS NEW YORK TIMES TO COMBAT FAKE NEWS!

Advertisement

FAKE NEWS REPORTING, HALF A SISSY BUNCH OF LIBTARDS!
FAKE NEWS REPORTING, HALF A SISSY BUNCH OF LIBTARDS!

You heard it here first. In an effort to combat fake news, acclaimed blogger Angry White Dude plans to purchase the New York Times. AWD said in a press release:

“The New York Times is the worldwide leader in journalistic sh*t. All leftist, idiotic claptrap indoctrination starts with the New York Times and flows down to other worthless propagandist organizations like CNN, MSNBC, NBC, CBS, ABC, and Fox News. That sh*t ain’t right and I plan on immediately stopping all fake news by purchasing the New York Times.

Oh, and I heard the New York Times is filled to the gills with Yankees. No wonder it’s a cluster you-know-what! AWD’s experience is nothing good comes from large areas of concentrated Yankees. Nothing. Need proof? New York. I rest my case.

So AWD plans to buy the New York Times from the owner, some Mezcan guy named Carlos Slim. Say no more. Here’s a photo of Carlos Slim:

carlos-slim

Ain’t a damn thing Slim about that burrito munching Pee-dro! And he owns (at least for another day or two) the New York Times? No wonder the place is a manicomio (nut house).

The New York Times subscription rates and advertising have been falling faster than Hillary after a three-day drunk and a campaign speech and Slim is spending money like a Democrat (go figure) trying to keep that rat-infested disaster zone floating. AWD smells a business opportunity.

Nobody wants to read fake news! They want the truth! They can handle the truth! And that’s all AWD will provide when I own the New York Times. Right now, it’s nothing but a bunch of left-wing, beta-male, half-a-sissy wussy boys who couldn’t piss and hit the ground and hairy lebanese women writing sh*t nobody wants to read but other hairy lebanese wildebeests. Rule number one: Give the people what they want! And that is exactly what AWD will do when I own the New York Times.

Here are some changes I’ll make day one.

Front Page – Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader of the Day! Now that’s hard news everyone wants to read! Even the hairy lebanese ex-writers whose worthless asses AWD will fire before the ink on the deal is dry want to read about Tiffini’s favorite hobbies. And how Brittani chose the name “Mr Mittens” for her kitty cat. I get tingles just thinking about hard hitting news like that!

Below the fold – Articles on guns, knives, and flashlights. Oh, and fire trucks. Interesting real news on the most recent developments on Ken Onion CRKT knife designs and Ken’s plans to keep inflation low. And articles on the latest Magpul 30-round mags and how they relate to Middle East peace. And which is the best gun to buy to piss off a liberal. And how many lumens should your flashlight have to effectively blind an attacker before you put your Smith M&P .380 up his nostril and free him from a life of crime?

Section B – I don’t know if there is a Section B in the New York Times because who reads that sh*t anyway? But I’m going to have a Section B which will include articles on Music That Doesn’t Suck and Libtarded PC commercials that do indeed suck hugely. Most of the Music That Doesn’t Suck will be Texas Country like Dale Watson and not that Trashville crap from that skinny goat roper Tim McGraw. Because in every Yankee, there’s a Texan wanting to escape. AWD’s goal is to Make America Texas!

I won’t go into other intricate plans but pretty much the New York Times will have much of the same stuff as Angry White Dude. Because AWD just hates him some fake news! And I love me some guns, knives, flashlights, fire trucks, and Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. And America needs hard news like AWD is going to offer!

All I know is the New York Times is going to stop sucking very soon. Fake news bastids!

Advertisement

Advertisement

11 Comments

  1. But the Nueva Jork Slimes is in Nueva Jork state AWD. You don’t wanna move there to run it do you? You could just move the operations to Tejas and rename it the Conservative Tejas Real News, but I think you would be better off by just buying the Dull-Ass Plowboys. You could fire the useless team, and just keep the cheerleaders, and no one would notice that the team is gone. They’ll never see another supa bowl anyways (you know it’s true).

    The girls can show up at games and cheer while the opposing team just runs up and down the field scoring touchdowns until all 4 quarters are expired, I guarantee that no one will notice the team missing.

  2. The only thing the NYT is good for is expensive bird cage liner. A blank copy would be an improvement.

    Sorry about the quality:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKiVh7RNASc

  3. Daryle Atkinson

    Sign me up. Sunday edition also.

  4. Rebelpatriot

    Come on AWD, there has to be something else to spend your money on. Send your money to me. I’ll help you out. LOL!

  5. Timmy T. Bone

    I think you meant to say the Jew York Times and not the New York times. The New York Times is a filthy commie rag of the highest degree. Between this, the Washington Post and academia, America has all the commie slop it can handle.

    I want to move my family out of the northeast and get away from the open sewer called NJ. Dont worry I wont be bringing any northeast liberal yankee commie stuff with me, about the only thing that I want to bring is us and our guns. 🙂

    • Disgusted Caucasian

      I’m in transition at this time. Got my HQ deep in red state territory and hang there when I can. I just haven’t figured out how to make a living there as of yet. I too warn the locals that I’ll be of no trouble…especially at the ballot box.

  6. Quartierleblanc

    I like the NY Times, as a liner for kitty litter or to clean my firearms.

  7. Every time I line the bottom of my parrots cages with the NYT, they refuse to shit, and climb to the top of the cages. Kinda telling about the quality of the rag if even parrots won’t shit on it.

  8. Are you trying to “out fake news” MSNBC, CNN, NBC, CBS, Nancy Pelosi, Obama, John Kerry or Harry Reid? You’ve got me stumped??

  9. Laura Wesselmann

    I can’t stand the NYTimes either. But stay away from the Jew talk. It will only turn around and bite you. They’re are plenty of leftie Christian’s to blame as well. God Bless!

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*