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ANGRY WHITE DUDE FOR SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE – HERE’S WHAT I’LL DO!

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AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO GIVES A SH*T ABOUT AMERICA?

AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO GIVES A SH*T ABOUT AMERICA?

By now, even the low-information voters (aka Democrat voters) know that one doesn’t have to be a member of Congress to be Speaker of the House. What insight the Founders had. They knew there eventually wouldn’t be one honest elected official to choose from!

We’ve seen wide-faced, RINO Newt Gingrich all over TV running his pie-hole that he’d accept the Speaker’s gavel if Congress wanted him. Well, they don’t. They’re already full to the gills on oxygen wasters. And who wants to look at Gingrich and his wife Calista as she melts the faces of Tea Partiers with her RINO Gaze O’ Death?

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America is hurting big time because professional politicians (aka criminals) are running the joint. America needs a Speaker who is honest, tough, not for sale, doesn’t want a career in politics, and is supa-sexy. I know a guy.

Therefore, AWD is announcing his candidacy for Speaker of the House. What are my qualifications, you might say? Well, besides the ones listed above, it’s just because I’m so @#&*in’ good!

Here’s what Speaker Miles Long (aka The Big Sexy) will do:

  • Nothing goes through Congress until the IRS criminals are convicted! Lois Lerner and that little Smeagle looking IRS Chief dude actively persecuted Tea Party leaders and groups. To quote Shakespeare, “that sh*t ain’t right.”
  • No more debt limit extensions. Shut that sumbitch government down until Washington learns to live on the trillions it already takes in taxes and fees.
  • Speaker AWD will immediately import smart, private business owners to cut the massive waste and redundancies in Washington.
  • Create legislation that will drastically cut and eventually eliminate the Departments of Education, Agriculture, Energy, the EPA and other useless drains on the taxpayer
  • Create legislation that will build border walls immediately. Funded by savings from governmental waste.
  • Kick Mitch McConnell’s little corrupt nairy ass for….well, because Speaker Miles Long wants to!
  • Ban all lobbyists from contacting House members.
  • Any legislature that represents an increase in expenditures will be offset by a ten-fold reduction of costs.
  • Immediately cut off all funds for ObamaCare.
  • Halt all legal immigration for 10 years. We will put Americans to work again!
  • Install a timeline for the death of welfare except for cases of those who are verifiably disabled
  • Make all legislation available for viewing and review for every American
  • Ban all illegals from receiving any welfare, food stamps, free education, health care, etc.
  • Fine any company caught using illegal workers 100% of their annual revenue the first time they are caught. Anyone caught using illegal workers a second time will face imprisonment and more massive fines.
  • Any American citizen who turns in businesses using illegal workers will receive 25% of the fines. We will remove any and all incentives for illegals to enter the United States.
  • Create legislation to immediately turn federally controlled lands back over to the states
  • Congress shall forfeit all pensions and will live by every law forced upon American taxpayers. Public service will be just that. It will no longer be the lucrative career it has become.
  • Create a committee that will remove laws that have destroyed American businesses.
  • Drastically cut the corporate tax rate to encourage businesses to invest in America.
  • Create legislation that will encourage Americans to open small businesses by eliminating federal taxes for the first five years.

I’m sure AWD can come up with a whole hell of a lot more but I’m late to a concert. But the time for professional politicians has come and gone! They have destroyed our country, saddled us with debt that will never be paid off, weakened our national defense, and cost millions and millions of jobs!

Call your Congressman and tell them that you demand Angry White Dude be elected the next Speaker. Why the hell not!?

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