AWD, Higher Indoctrination, Political Correctness, Random Posts, The Gay Agenda, War on America, War on Men / Feminazis

ANGRY WHITE DUDE WANTS TO BE A WOMAN

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AWD TOMORROW MORNING!
AWD TOMORROW MORNING!

A video is going viral of a mother giving her 11 year old son who wants to be a girl his/her first hormone pills. The world is changing. AWD gave his son a Remington 1100 when he turned 11.

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That’s a boy. Or supposed to be.

You know, AWD has been thinking about all this sex change mess for a while and we may be thinking all wrong about it! Kind of how we made fun of boy cheerleaders in high school. Hell, while I was pushing around 300 pound land blobs on the football field as an offensive tackle, boy cheerleaders were ‘rasslin curvy babes up in the air and looking up their skirts! Dayum, I’d do that all different if I could!

So I am making a public announcement that AWD wants to be a woman. At least for a little while. I know this will shock a lot of readers but you can’t oppress me!

Basically, I’m going to get me some of those woman hormone pills. I’ll take a few before going to bed and in the morning….schwing!…well, not schwing! anymore because my unit won’t be there anymore, but voila, I’ll be a hot, sexy babydoll!

Basically, I really just want to watch my new womanly self taking a sensual shower and lathering up all my curvy and tingly parts with lavender scented bath balms under the steamy hot water cascading down upon the newfound perfect mounds in my chestular region. I like that. Yeah, I really like that. My ass will be so perfectly round that NASA scientists will be able to calibrate their instruments to it. It will be the greatest shower AWD has ever had. Might last quite a while too. But, hell, this ain’t California. We have water here in Texas.

After taking a long time to towel the water off my perfect bod, AWD won’t put on a robe or any of that sh*t. I’m going to slowly moisturize my sexy self while watching my sexy self in the mirror. I’ll probably even clean it. I’ll admire all the pill-given curves science has given me. Hell, will probably snap a few selfies. Without the duck face. That’s gay.

I’m quite sure I’ll be late for work working my sexy female self into the perfect picture of feminine beauty. I might just take me a citrus scented bubble bath with vanilla jojoba crystals after the shower just to make sure I’ve washed and moisturized every sexy inch of my curvy, sexy body. I like that. Yeah, I like that.

And you better believe it’s nothing but Victoria’s Secret for the Big Sexy! With stockings and garters, baybah. Ohhh, how I can’t wait to be a hot babe! All it takes is a pill!

After I’ve enjoyed the shower, moisturizing, bubble bath and Victoria’s Secret, I’ll swallow me a few male pills and grow back my big man-thang and change me into my manly, normal sups-sexy man self. Did I say normal? That’s such a hateful word these days! But screw it, as much fun it may be to shower and moisturize as a woman, AWD is a man. A real man. That’s right.

I’ll put on my big-ass boxers, jeans, cowboy boots and my usual AWD t shirt before hopping on my Harley or in my F150 and heading to the mines to yell at my employees. But damn! It sure will be fun being a woman. For a while, at least.

I mean, let’s face it. What man would ever want to be a woman? Except Bruce Jenner. But he’s from California. Even so, I think even Bruce or Caitlyn still has his unit so even he doesn’t really want to be a filly. Being a woman isn’t easy and a man would have to be crazy or from California to want to be one.

Aside from the horrible experience of the monthly bleeding thing (yikes!) and having to shave your crotchular regions (ain’t nobody got time for that!), woman sh*t is just plain boring! Mostly gone, as a filly, would be your interest in guns, flash lights, and fire trucks. Think how boring your existence would be!

You’d feel faint at the sight of the latest @#&* Michael Kors overpriced purse. (Ask AWD’s little filly on that one. I just can’t figure it out.) You’d have a closet full of every kind of woman shoe you can imagine when, as a guy, all you need is some boots. Goes with everything. Looks good on anybody.

Also,have you ever noticed how women go all ape-sh*t when they see one of their friends? They act like they haven’t seen them in a decade when they just saw them only a few hours ago. “Ohhh, hi there!!!! You look so great!!!” they say to their girlfriends even if the friend is a bufforilla.

Here’s the difference between manly behavior and filly behavior:

Women compliment their friends and don’t mean it. Men insult their friends and don’t mean it.

It’s easier to greet your buddies as a dude. You simply say “Howdy” or “How’s it hanging”, or “Gettin’ any?” Or if he’s a really good buddy, you say “Hey homo.”

Yep, AWD is going to give this being a woman thing a chance for an hour or so. I sure like looking at women. Especially in the shower. Yeah, yeah, I really like that. But after I get all that womanly bidness out of my system, I’m taking me some man pills to restore my manliness and going pig hunting.

That is, unless I can finagle some shower time with my Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader girlfriends. But I guaran-damn-tee you I’ll smuggle some man pills into the shower with them. You know, just in case.

A parting lesson to all you parents out there. When your boy turns 11, give him a @#&* shotgun! You’ll be doing him/her a favor.

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13 Comments

  1. You will last a woman with your curves just until a naked man with a huge hard-on confronts you in the bedroom and says” here bitch, suck this !!!!!
    You will return quickly to being a man !!

  2. You ain’t right dude.

  3. Holy crap Dude, yer makin’ it too easy. There are soooooo many places I could go with this, from makeup tips from Cait Jenner (How to hide that embarrassing manly bulge) to BJ tips from the gay hit men Lance and Brucie.

    However, in deference to your obviously delicate emotional state, I will restrain myself to just pointing and laughing hysterically.

    My heroic self-restraint in no way excludes others from letting fly….

  4. SalsaChupacabra

    What’s being done to that little boy is child abuse and his sad excuse for a mother needs to be put in prison. If there’s a father in the picture (I’m guessing not) he needs to man the F@#$ up and show his SON how to be a man. This gender fluidity bulls$%^ pisses me off. How will my daughter ever find a boy man enough to be a fit father for her children if we as a society keep treating boys like defective girls?

  5. man I’m gett’n real damn tired of all these fags and queers shoving their sexual perversions in my face…………….

    you god damn homos and the rest of you freaks……you know, you transvestites……I’ve had it with you filthy perverts……………

    I think you assholes should get back in the closet where you belong…….either that or jump off a cliff……………

  6. Quartierleblanc

    I don’t care what you do, I’m still not going to F@$% you.

    • 11 is way too young to make such descions. Should be allow 25 years old minimum. 35 tops.

      I think is a case of the kid trying to fit in with the “cool” people and gain attention.
      I known a few people who did what it took to fit in when when I was a kid. They were known as goths. The make up washed off. This isnt going to “wash out” its a one way trip.

  7. DON’T DO IT MAN!!! Yes, I know it’s tempting. I have to admit that the thought of looking in the mirror and seeing a Raquel Welch body staring back at me is tempting. Heck, I might even divorce my wife and marry myself if I looked like that. (Hey, don’t judge me. It ain’t PC) So trust me, I fully understand.

    But before you do this just remember that not every transformation turns out well. For example, some not so successful transformations include the likes of Miss Hathaway from Beverly Hillbillies, Aunt Bee from Andy Griffith, Hillary Clinton from God knows where, and last but not least, Rosie O’Donnel from who cares..

    So you see my friend, the risk is just NOT worth it. Don’t do it. Keep the pain inside and stay in the closet. I beg you!

  8. Damn AWD I think you have this figured out perfectly,if I could have the key to the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader’s showers I will be right behind you.Love your site please keep it up.

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