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ANGRY WHITE DUDE’S BIG SEXY PREDICTIONS FOR 2015!

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2015-marketing-predictions

Ahoy polloi! The Big Sexy is still vacationing in Arizona with the family unit. Staying in tonight with my old, worn-out mama to watch some football while she waits hand and foot on me. She’s baking me a pie as we speak. Yes, another one.

It’s the last night of 2014 and it’s time for AWD’s predictions for 2015. Reading my predictions for 2014 was bitter sweet. I missed a few. OK, I missed a lot. OK, I sucked el grande uno on almost all of my predictions!

But I did manage to get a few right:

  • Whoopi Goldberg will continue to be ugly all day.
  • Amnesty will NOT be passed as Americans rise up against Washington and Mexico.
  • The Dallas Cowboys will not win the 2014 Super Bowl
  • The Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders will continue to dig the AWD’s program!

Well, Amnesty wasn’t exactly “passed.” But the other predictions are dead solid perfect!

So here’s AWD’s 2015 predictions. I bet I do much better this year:

  • Hussein continues to release Guantanamo terrorists, will attempt to close the base and return it to Cuba.
  • Republicans, with total control of Congress, will continue to give Obama everything he wants while doing everything possible to minimize the Tea Party conservative wing of the Party.
  • Mitch McConnell will reverse Harry Reid’s “Nuclear Option” on judicial filibusters. Why? Because Republicans are stupid like that.
  • With Obama’s Executive Order Amnesty in place, Democrats will immediately begin pushing for voting rights for illegals.
  • America will be hit with numerous, major Muslim terrorist events at some point this year. (I missed that one last year)
  • The Dallas Cowboys will not win the 2015 Super Bowl. Someone will remind Romo he’s Tony Romo and sucks.
  • America will continue to ramp up boots on the ground in Iraq to win a war we had already won.
  • ObamaCare and Amnesty are here to stay. The Republicans want both more than the Dims
  • Hussein will completely circumvent Congress this year using Executive Orders to do whatever the hell he wants. Republicans won’t try to stop him.
  • Not one conviction will result from any of the multitude of Hussein scandals. No one will lose their job, either.
  • The Occupy Movement and the black ghetto thugs will soon go back to their ghettos and classrooms.
  • People will learn getting on planes with Muslim pilots flying out of Malaysia over the ocean is not a good idea.
  • One of the Stones will die (missed that one last year so this year’s a lock)
  • And, an annual favorite, Whoopi Goldberg will be ugly all year!
  • AWD’s mama just predicted that AWD will find true love in 2015. I call bulls*t  on that!

Like Neil Diamond’s song Solitary Man,

Don’t know that I will
But until I can find me
The filly who’ll stay
And won’t play games behind me
I’ll be what I am
A solitary dude, solitary dude

Feel free to add any of your 2015 predictions. We’ll take a look next late December and see who was right and who was wrong.

Happy new year, everyone! If you’re driving around tonight, watch out for the drunks and illegal aliens! Oh, and Chinese in mini-vans. Oh, and the old man in the hat driving the Buick.

Here’s Johnny Cash singing Solitary Man

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