Shama lama ding dong, infidels! The Imam’s anger is as hot as the fire burning a million Afghani school girls! Especially if they think they’ll play with Barbies, the infidelic toy of Satan! Why, we Imams would rather give a Muslim female child an education than allow her to play with a infidel Barbie! And you know that ain’t gonna happen!
So the Imam has put a slap-yo-mammy, industrial-strength, supply-side fatwa against Barbie Dolls. These whorish toys from the Great Satan are designed to turn our beloved Muslim young women into western whores who may one day think they have a…bwahahaha…right to drive! Also, what Muslim jihadist would want to marry a 6 year old if she spends all her time playing with Barbie dolls when she should be more concerned about her 60 year old husband’s sword of Allah! Yes, Islam is the religion that brings such joys and happiness! For Muslim men, that is. As for Muslim women? Hahaha….well, that is not my problem, now is it?
Verily I say unto you, o infidels! Barbie dolls are clad in the slut clothing of infidel whores! They wear such forbidden items such as shorts, t shirts (no, not an Angry White Infidel t shirt, you camel-ropers!) and bikinis! Such things are forbidden by Allah and his prophet (and great dresser!) Muhammad (may a 6 year old bride be upon him? Oops! Too late!). In fact, it says in the holy Koran:
“Do not allow your female children’s mind to wander to things of the infidel;
For if your female child learns the ways of the infidel, she will one day ask to ride on your camel.
If she rides on your camel, she will the next day demand to ride in your car (when the infidels invent automobiles)
and then she will run your Muslim ass over like those bug-humping Chinese women drivers do!”
There you have it, infidel dogs! It says it in the Koran and is true. Because Allah is never wrong and always right! However, the Imam also has declared a Barbie fatwa because it will help save the Earth. Imam al-Klimat C’hange Gore (may carbon credits be upon him) is co-sponsoring this fatwa. It has been scientifically proven by superior Iranian and Global Warming scientists that Muslim women wearing western clothing cause massive Earthquakes! Further investigation has also shown that Barbie Dolls, even by wearing tiny bikinis, have caused small trembles in the Middle East! Better to be safe than sorry! Especially when science has proven what we Imams knew all along!
The Angry White Imam is a loving Imam, however. He still has sympathy for young Muslim girls and has introduced the Burka Barbie Muslim Doll collection. Behold the Arab beauty in their facial features!
Ahhh, yes, how lovely and chaste! And the genitals of the Burka Barbie are anatomically correct to how the young female child’s genitals will appear after her much-awaited female circumcision! Plus, if you order now, the Imam will include the Mecca Beach Muhammad complete with miniature Stones of Allah© stoning accessories, Rope of Honor© simulated hanging materials, and a miniature Mecca to march your dolls around for days on end! Best of all? All Burka Barbie and Mecca Beach Muhammad dolls explode! (Schoolbus Blast bomb vest, prayer mat, AK-47 and Beheading Kit for Mecca Beach Muhammad not included.)
Think of the great fun your young martyr will have! At least for a while. The Imam guarantees it will be a blast!
So shama lama and a big ol’ ding dong to you infidels! Keep your Satanic Barbies and your Homosexual hairdresser Ken dolls! Our little precious Muslim female children will have hours of fun playing with Burka Barbie until she’s married, executed, or becomes a martyr!
And now, infidel pigs, the Imam must bid you adieu. The Imam tonight will celebrate his latest bride! She doesn’t know she’s getting married to the Imam yet, I just saw her on the playground! Shama lama! But in the spirit of peace, love and beheadings, I leave you with the Dance of the 1000 Imams! Come on, sing along! You infidels know the words! Do do, do do, do do, da da da!