Advertisement

AWD’S OPINIONS ON WHAT THE HELL’S GOING ON IN THE NEWS THIS WEEK

Advertisement

THE DUDE SPEAKETH

AWD was sitting back enjoying his vanilla latte while getting a marvelous mani/pedi and a full lavender-scented facial scrub and had pretty much decided to write about how awful it is that American men have become so feminine! @#*& liberals!

But then I thought hell, we’ve discussed that topic numerous times over the years. Hold on, they’re getting ready to wax AWD’s crotchular region.

OK, back again. So AWD thought to himself, “Big Sexy, why not try something new and go to one of the websites you read and just randomly grab some of the topics and give a short opinion on each?” I then said, “Why AWD, that just might work.” So here goes.

Here’s the top stories at iotwReport:

Venezuela, Accused of Selling Passports to Hezbollah, Is Running Out of Passports for Venezuelans

Well, of course they are! Venezuela is the latest victim of socialism. Once the wealthiest country in South America, Venezuela has the greatest oil reserves in the world. But all that wealth was BC. Before Chavez. Señor Potato Head Chavez took over the country, seized the press and corporations, nationalized foreign businesses which halted all foreign investment, and stole from the wealthy to give to the poor. And guess what? They’re all now poor and eating dogs in the street. Except the very few at the top of government. Shortages of staples for living are now the norm. All opposing voices are locked up. Look for some very bad things to happen soon in Venezuela very soon. Thanks, socialism! You’ve done it again.

Germany: Tear Gas Attack On Hamburg Metro Affects 50

As bad as socialism is, Islam is worse! Merkel’s gift of Islam keeps on giving to Germans who, unbelievably, are sitting on the sidelines watching their country go down the drain. Islam destroys everything it plagues. Ask any European country. Europe will be gone in less than 20 years. And they gave up their homelands without lifting a fist. Damn them.

Capture the Flag Just Got Real

Some Hollywood idiot named Shia Lebouf hates him some Donald Trump. So he decided he’d, being the ‘artist’ he is, protest Trump’s time in office by putting up a flag that says “HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US” from an undisclosed location. The flag was then to be shown on a webcam for Trump’s time in office. Well, long story short, some right-wing propeller heads figured out the location of Lebouf’s flag by looking at airplane contrails and tracking them to somewhere in Tennessee. Once the location was found, they dispatched some friends to take down the flag and replace it with a Make America Great Again hat. Absolute awesomeness.

I don’t know who Shia Lebouf is. But Shia Lebouf sounds like a pracice that take place a lot in San Francisco between “sensitive guys.” Isn’t it amazing how these Hollywood tards find themselves so interesting when, in fact, they’re just plain embarrassing. Think Madogna and Ashley Judd at the Vagina In A Hat protest after the inauguration. This Lebouf character sounds like he has a permanent vagina sitting on his shoulders.

icky Leaks

OK, so Pamela Anderson is doing the ol’ flippy floppy with Wikileaks’s Julian Assange. It’s official. She has had sex now with every male in the world. Except Big Fur Hat, of course. Assange might be careful or he may develop a bad case of Dikileaks.

Pelosi On Obamacare Replacement: We Have To Find Out What’s In It Before We Pass It

I’ve long ago ceased to be amazed by this woman. And I hold the residents of San Francisco in such low regard I have no expectation that they’re capable of electing someone who isn’t permanently dain bramaged. But sometimes! Do her handlers tell her to not say we should know what’s in the healthcare bill before it’s passed? Probably not. They’re probably all from San Francisco. And probably do a lot of Shia Leboufing, too.

Megyn Kelly wants to be the ‘next Oprah’

She better start eating some Double Quarter Pounders with Hersheys if she wants to replace The Couch. (if you haven’t heard that joke, let me know and I’ll write it) I never found Megyn Kelly very likable or interesting. And that was before she went after Prez Trump. She’s not a good interviewer and comes across as a self-interested you know what. Probably because she is a self-interested you know what. I gave up watching Fox News a long time ago and it was the resident libtards and jerks like Kelly that helped make that happen. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen an Oprah show. I have a job. And I’m not a mindless housewife. Oh, and I don’t hate white people. At least not all of them.

Anyway, go over to iotwReport to check out these stories and tell Big Fuzzy Hat to stay out of my yard. For now, AWD is saddling up on my Ultra Classic for some scooting around dodging minivans. Let me know if y’all like this new thang of writing short opinions on the headlines of the week. If you don’t like it, just remember this…what do you want for nothing? You bastids.

Oh, and for some Music That Doesn’t Suck, here’s what song came on AWD’s loud-ass supa-fine souped up stereo on his scooter. I took that as a sign to make it the MTDS entry for today.

This is just awesome! It’s Choctaw Bingo by James McMurtry which is a great song about Oklahoma and his family reunion and sh*t. Some guy actually made a video that shows all the places in the song. You need to listen to this and watch the video:

Advertisement

Related Posts