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RedStater Makes Chili

AWD: “Y’all, I’m so tired of writing about politics I could just spit on something!”

April 24, 2012 / 8 Comments / Read More

The Giving Tree (Lost Manuscript), Part 4

February 24, 2012 17 Comments

“What the @*!$ are you doing to our tree?” shouted an angry white dude in the front of the pack. The boy set down the chainsaw and snickered. “I’m making things fair,” he said snidely. “And just who do you think you are, you fat, ugly, flyover-country hicks?”

The Giving Tree (Lost Manuscript), Part 3

February 23, 2012 7 Comments

When we had last left our hero, Captain Libtard, he had rid the evil, oppressive oak tree of its apples (yes—it’s an apple-producing oak tree, effing GA Steve!), of its limbs, and of its roots. And now…

The Giving Tree (Lost Manuscript), Part 2

February 22, 2012 10 Comments

The boy scowled. “It’s your roots! They’re spread so far and deep and wide that you dominate the land! And, because you’re such a fat, lazy, stupid, ignorant, water-guzzling, tree-oppressing, environment-killing redneck, you suck up all the water and don’t leave any else for any of the other trees!”

The Giving Tree (Lost Manuscript), Part 1

February 20, 2012 6 Comments

Behold, a recently-found lost manuscript containing what is perhaps the first draft of Shell Silverstein’s genius, “The Giving Tree.” Note that the opening pages of the book are identical to the published copy, but the latter sections diverge significantly. The point of divergence is marked in line with the text.