It’s a common theme with nearly all crass television commercials these days. The white guy is an idiot. Oh sure, he can hold a professional job and provide a nice house for his smart-ass family but can’t light a gas grill without blowing the sumbitch up:

While the ubiquitous white male-bashing commercial spans nearly every product and service, AWD has noticed that Federal Express has a long-time penchant for making us cracka males look stupid. Usually, with a female or minority as the smirking boss shaking their head disapprovingly at our ineptitude. Here’s a few:

Laugh, I thought I’d die!! On that one, the minority office worker and the bitchy wife get in on the fun!

Here’s one of the minority female schooling an MBA on how to ship. A guy that passed the GMATs and passed business school really needs her help, I’m sure.

Here’s the minority boss catching his white guys faking work at the golf course. Diversity points because FedEx actually has a black guy with the two goofing off crackas!

With that much white male-bashing in their commercials, we’re pretty sure Federal Express has a Board of Directors full up with diversity. Oooops! Not so fast there, Poindexter! You guessed it! The entire Executive Committee is made up of creepy ass crackas!

Well, certainly the Operating Company CEO’s of Federal Express have a minority or two to catch those lazy cracka males goofing off at the golf course. What? Not a minority among them either! All crackas! Seems to be a pattern with FedEx senior executives!

Certainly the International Executives have a Mexican or something thrown into the mix! I mean, Fed Ex seems to think those white males are incompetent. Probably more than a few have MBA’s, too. Sorry to inform you, Juan, there are no minorities even among the International Executives! Que es esto??

Well, we just know Federal Express has some minorities in their lowly Other Key Executive positions! A company who ridicules white males in nearly every commercial just has to have a minority executive somewhere, right? Right? Wrong again, David Duke! Even the lowly Other Key Executives are all lily white. So white they’re transparent!

Mayby Federal Express has a black janitor at its HQ, but it’s doubtful! A company that has a pattern of showing white males as morons sure seems to see value in them at executive levels! Hypocrisy much, FedEx?

AWD is troubled that Federal Express does not embrace diversity. As such, I call on Federal Express to fire each of their cracka execs and fill their positions with minorities. Maybe they can promote the black lady who taught the white male MBA how to ship a package!

But wait! FedEx says they believe in diversity. Here’s their statement:

FedEx was founded on a people-first philosophy, where respect for all people is a fundamental value and everyday business practice.

FedEx is made up of more than 300,000 team members from various walks of life, reflecting the value and attention we place on diversity. Our diverse workforce, supplier base and supporting culture enable FedEx to better serve our customers and compete effectively in the global marketplace. We strive to create an environment where people can contribute and grow, and where the values of diversity are woven through our organization.

We embrace diversity as essential to our continued success in today’s ever-changing global marketplace. And we value its role in helping us achieve exceptional service for our customers and rewarding opportunities for our employees.

Yes, the “values of diversity are woven through” Federal Express. Except at their executive levels. There, they are as white as the KKK! Shame on you, FedEx, you racist haters!


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