The little ladies of Florida Georgia Line are in the news because they requested that no law enforcement officers be anywhere near them backstage. No doubt these two douchebaggerous country music imposters are fans of Black Lives Matter terrorists.
So AWD is reposting what I wrote about Florida Georgia Line a while back. These guys suck. And I mean hugely suck!
AWD hasn’t had a Music That Doesn’t Suck post in a while so I thought I’d check out the new Nashville “Country” music scene and see what we come up with.
Well, lookie here! Florida Georgia Line. Winning all them CMA Awards! Woo hoo! They look, as Elton John said of Ricky Martin, “sassy!” They also look like they’ve seen a big ol’ angry one up close.
AWD knew if he Spotified one of Florida Georgia Line’s biggest hits, I’d hear a lot of stereotypical Nashville pop-country themes. You know, partying on Saturday night, big pickups, shooting guns, etc. as if any of those Nashville tools has ever done any of those things. Hell, they’re probably Yankees. I wasn’t disappointed. Except these Florida Georgia idjits look like a bunch of rapper wanna-bes. And this is what Nashville country music has become. You must watch this and then you’ll understand what Texas country singer/songwriter Jon Christopher Davis wrote as he packed up and left Tennessee after getting a gut-full of Nashville pop country crap:
“I tried to listen but all I see is cartoon characters on TV;
and they can’t hear the difference today between saying something and having something to say;
Give me Waylon, Dylan, Haggard and Jones, give me just a little more meat on the bones;
Johnny Cash come and take our hands and lead us back over to the Promised Land.”
The mix tape’s got a little Hank, little Drake
A little something bumping, thump, thumping on the wheel ride
The mix in our drink’s a little stronger than you think
So get a grip, take a sip of that feel right
The truck’s jacked up, flat bills flipped back
Yeah you can find us where the party’s at
Sorry, AWD got a little choked up. Well, not really. I think I vomited in my mouth. To paraphrase a George Jones classic, “I started hating them today.” Did they actually mention Hank Williams and the rapper named Drake in the same line?
Here’s the first Drake lyrics I googled:
Lat me show what it is
I was born up top but was raised at the bottom of the map
Where the girls all thick and the hottest niggas rap
if you lookin for the goods then we got in the trap like
Took ’em from white snakes to
This metaphore might sound a little confusing but
Yall don’t really even know me yeah yeah
I crap you negative. That’s what Drake raps. And Florida Georgia Line equates Drake and Hank Williams? Now would be a good time for Florida Georgia Line to give each other a lobotomy. Oops. Too late.
And only some Nashville pop country tool would sing:
We’re burning down the night shooting bullets at the moon baby
This is how we roll
Yeah, that’s how they roll. I have to laugh. I guaran-damn-tee you Florida Georgia Line have never fired a gun. Bullets do come down somewhere, ladies.
Nashville pop country is the equivalent for white people who don’t know music as rap is for blacks and stupid white kids. Mindless trash that has no soul, feeling, or value. Yeah, I’m sure I’ll get lots of hate email saying “well, a lot of people listen to it, so there!” OK, and a lot of people voted for Barack Obama twice. I rest my case.
AWD taught his kids (all fine musicians themselves) that there are two kinds of people in the world.
1. People who listen to music
2. People who hear music
I taught that in our family we are those who listen to music. People who listen to music don’t listen to Trashville (h/t Hank III) pop country. It is the musical equivalent of a used Kleenex. Corporate controlled ‘music’ died the minute Music Row started promoting “performers” and turned their backs on artists. How else can you explain Faith Hill and that ilk? Kenny Chesney? I have to laugh.
There is still quality country music to be found. But you have to travel to Texas to find it. Here you will find artists with guts and integrity who write and sing their own tunes. No, they don’t look like super models but they represent real country music where stories are still told with meaning the way they used to be.
Hell, AWD could sit here all night bitching about that Nashville crap but here’s the great Dale Watson who explains it better than I ever could with “That’s Country My Ass.”
Here’s Dale again with his tribute to fellow Texan George Jones.
And here’s Jon Christopher Davis’ F You to Nashville referenced above called “Bottom Line”:
Florida Georgia Line, don’t ever utter the word ‘Hank’ again.
But if you’d like to know more about Hank, Here’s his grandson Hank III walking it like his granddad did. Here’s III in concert doing Straight To Hell. Now THAT is country @#&*ing music! Language warning!