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FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY, NO MORE PEYTON MANNING COMMERCIALS!

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PEYTON MANNING SELLING HERSHEY'S KISSES AT HALFTIME!
PEYTON MANNING SELLING HERSHEY’S KISSES AT HALFTIME!

AWD tossed his new Hi Def in the trash for some lucky illegal to find lest I turn it on again and see the ever-present Peyton Manning commercials! Peyton Manning is like Big Brother. Only with a gigantic forehead. He actually has a five-head. He’s Big Forehead Brother.

If Peyton can make a buck, he’ll come to your neighborhood and rent his head out to screen movies. Manning’s forehead is so big Michael Moore could use it as a 12 place table for a formal dinner…all for himself.

Peyton Manning has become as horrifyingly over-visible as Michael Jordan was 10 years ago selling shoes and his Hanes drawers. Painful. Or Bill Cosby before Jordan who was thinking of illegal places to put his Pudding Pop while shilling for Jello. AWD was past being sick of Cosby, too. And that’s before all his Clinton-like activities surfaced. Now it’s Peyton Manning and a new low! Manning has the personality of a week-old turd.

He’s everywhere. You can’t hide! Manning is selling everything! And he’s just about as creepy as the Burger King who has frightened AWD away from fast food forever. I’m not terrified of much in this world except for kissing Whoopi Goldberg and that evil Burger King!

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Hell, AWD even wrote about the creepy King:

THE BURGER KING FREAKS ME OUT!

And you better believe it will be a cold day in Al Gore’s Global Warming Hell before AWD ever, EVER uses Nationwide insurance! I wonder if Nationwide sells insurance to guard against having to watch another @#*& Peyton Manning commercial? Watch this horror!

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Sung to the Nationwide tune: I can’t believe that big forehead! 

I know I’ve made my point about Peyton’s ginormous melon, but dayum! How do they strap a football helmet around that thang?? They must use a specially fitted bathtub with a face mask attached.

If you have 3:24 of your life you’re ready to painfully lose, here is a collection of Manning’s shilling!

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So I pray to all that is holy to stop the pain! PLEASE stop the Peyton Manning commercials! Haven’t we suffered enough? Let Peyton concentrate on not sucking as a QB for the Broncos. And don’t try to sneak one in with his equally boring brother, Eli. The Manning’s need to go the way of Jordan and Cosby and just count their bajillions and leave us the hell alone!

Isn’t it bad enough with TV commercials that Capital One makes me hate them more by running spots with Charles Barkley, Samuel L Jackson and Spike Lee? What, has Capital One come out with a #BlackLivesMatter MasterCard? Yeah, I’ll pass. Unlike Peyton, who throws interceptions.

Peyton, here’s the deal. Stop with the commercials now. If not, you can soon expect a little visit from the Burger King. Word to the wise!

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7 Comments

  1. Tony Romo is ready and willing to take his place.

    • JMV, I believe you actually must have played football to replace Manning. Romo doesn’t qualify.

      awd

      • Point taken AWD, I forgot that playing for the Cowboys doesn’t count as real football. 😉 But Romo does have a commercial under his belt, i.e. arts and crafty Tony Romo with his brownie/cupcake cross, the ‘crown’.

        In a related report, Kobe Bryant has announced that he will retire at the end of the ’15/’16 season. Not sure if he means retiring from ass raping crazy white mud sharks, kissing his wife’s ass on national tv, or basketball.

  2. Commercial breaks during an NFL game is when you turn down the volume a bit, go to the bathroom, backtrack to the kitchen for another beer and more snacks, and return just in time to avoid seeing Manning.

  3. AWD, I do believe that Brock Boy has finally put Peyton Mush Mouth out to pasture. I’m actually a Colorado resident and a long time Broncos fan, but I’ve never lost money betting on Manning in the post season. He has got the stats and the numbers, and he was very good as a Colt, but he has been a stop gap quarterback since he arrived in Denver. One thing you can bet money on is his inability to win a game playing in Indianapolis. I suspect that they have photographs of him doing something terribly inappropriate that they threaten him with whenever he returns to play his old team. I cannot stand his television advertisements, and they are on ten times more here in Colorado than anywhere else. As bad as they are, he will never descend to Dr. Cosby’s or Kobe Bryant’s level of degenerate behavior. The Mannings might be irritating to some overly sensitive types, but they are decent people.

  4. I agree that Peyton’s commercials are stupid but at least they don’t have a black with a white girl draped on him in them like most commercials are beginning to do. I hate commercials and I hate commercial advertising agencies. THey have no soul. I keep a list of commercials of products I will never buy again. You should do the same.

  5. And a poor sport to boot ! When he lost a super bowl game he wouldn’t go over to shake the other Quarterback’s hand..he sulked off the field..he is a major league jerk. P.S. Tom Brady kicks his ass just about every time he plays him.You wont see Brady whoring himself out on commercials for a buck.He has too much class and does not need the money.His wife is better looking too !

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