AWD tossed his new Hi Def in the trash for some lucky illegal to find lest I turn it on again and see the ever-present Peyton Manning commercials! Peyton Manning is like Big Brother. Only with a gigantic forehead. He actually has a five-head. He’s Big Forehead Brother.
If Peyton can make a buck, he’ll come to your neighborhood and rent his head out to screen movies. Manning’s forehead is so big Michael Moore could use it as a 12 place table for a formal dinner…all for himself.
Peyton Manning has become as horrifyingly over-visible as Michael Jordan was 10 years ago selling shoes and his Hanes drawers. Painful. Or Bill Cosby before Jordan who was thinking of illegal places to put his Pudding Pop while shilling for Jello. AWD was past being sick of Cosby, too. And that’s before all his Clinton-like activities surfaced. Now it’s Peyton Manning and a new low! Manning has the personality of a week-old turd.
He’s everywhere. You can’t hide! Manning is selling everything! And he’s just about as creepy as the Burger King who has frightened AWD away from fast food forever. I’m not terrified of much in this world except for kissing Whoopi Goldberg and that evil Burger King!
Hell, AWD even wrote about the creepy King:
And you better believe it will be a cold day in Al Gore’s Global Warming Hell before AWD ever, EVER uses Nationwide insurance! I wonder if Nationwide sells insurance to guard against having to watch another @#*& Peyton Manning commercial? Watch this horror!
Sung to the Nationwide tune: I can’t believe that big forehead!
I know I’ve made my point about Peyton’s ginormous melon, but dayum! How do they strap a football helmet around that thang?? They must use a specially fitted bathtub with a face mask attached.
If you have 3:24 of your life you’re ready to painfully lose, here is a collection of Manning’s shilling!
So I pray to all that is holy to stop the pain! PLEASE stop the Peyton Manning commercials! Haven’t we suffered enough? Let Peyton concentrate on not sucking as a QB for the Broncos. And don’t try to sneak one in with his equally boring brother, Eli. The Manning’s need to go the way of Jordan and Cosby and just count their bajillions and leave us the hell alone!
Isn’t it bad enough with TV commercials that Capital One makes me hate them more by running spots with Charles Barkley, Samuel L Jackson and Spike Lee? What, has Capital One come out with a #BlackLivesMatter MasterCard? Yeah, I’ll pass. Unlike Peyton, who throws interceptions.
Peyton, here’s the deal. Stop with the commercials now. If not, you can soon expect a little visit from the Burger King. Word to the wise!