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HAPPY MOTHERS DAY/VERIZON CRYING MOTHER/DAUGHTER COMMERCIAL – OPEN POST

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WHY?

First, even though it’s almost over, I want to wish a happy Mothers Day to all the great Mothers who help keep everything running on all 8 cylinders! I sure know I would not be the angry white dude that I am without the help of my beautiful mother! I’ll never forget her unending kindness when I was a kid. When I was about six years old, I could always depend on her to unchain me from the basement wall and give me an extra drink of water to go with my slice of bread before returning me to the darkness of the basement where I was told monsters would come out and eat me for not dealing her any face cards in her running poker game upstairs. And I’ll never forget the day she was paroled when she walked up to me. I was so happy to see her that tears were running down my young cheeks. Her first words to me have stuck with me for decades: “Get the hell in the car….I need me a brew dog.”

Y’all know I’m joking, mostly, about my angry white mama. She’s been my best friend throughout the years. Do I love my mama? Does Ric Flair love saying “Woooooo?” Damn straight! Hit it, Natch!

OK, if you’ve been watching the Stanley Cup playoffs, you’ve been inundated with this commercial that makes AWD want to claw out his eyeballs with a fork and stop up his ears with the saliva of Rosie O’Donnell (I’m making myself sick over here!):

What the hell is the purpose of that? That has to be more annoying than a political discussion between Janeane Garofalo and Michael Moore. Or a discussion between them on personal hygiene. Either way, my angry white finger goes immediately to the mute button as soon as I see those two hags blubbering up all over my 50 inch HD!

I guess that isn’t a male bashing commercial like we so often see but a male annoying commercial. And who writes this sh*t? I think I’ll stick with Flo from Progressive and her cast of girly men or that green Geico lizard I’d like to sqush the guts out of!

OK, I haven’t written much in the past few days and here’s why. AWD was unavoidably detained and couldn’t write. Actually, I was kidnapped in a black van and taken to an undisclosed FEMA camp. They tried to indoctrinate me on some Hopenchange mumbo jumbo so I called BS on that straight off and decided to escape. My cell mate was an Al Qaeda type. So I put him in an unsanctioned pile driver followed by an inverted suplex, ripped his beating heart from his chest and that was all she wrote. I changed into his camel-humping gear and told the guards I was the grand poobah of the Muslim Brotherhood and had a meeting scheduled with Imam Obama at the White House. They fell for it and let me go. Can’t believe those TSA cats are so stupid. Well, yes I can. Hell, even Obama fell for it. At the White House, he promised me I could have Israel if I sent him a few hundred thousand cash American for the campaign and a couple of stray dogs to munch on. I told him to go back to Kenya and get his own damn dogs and get out my face and stomped out. I just got back to the Casa del Amor last night. So now you know why my writing has been so sparse lately.

special Mother’s Day late night open post. You can open post about Mothers Day and your mama if you like. You can even leave a special note to our First Lady Moochelle Obama. She’s a mother! She can read them on her way to her next vacation spot. Or you can post away on anything you like.

Music That Doesn’t Suck for this evening is some Dale Watson. Dale is my favorite Texas honky tonker. And here he does a cover of the great Johnny Cash’s “Guess Things Happen That Way.” Don’t tell Johnny but I like Dale’s version much better:

And just for the hell of it, I’m in a sexy mood for a little sexy Lucinda. Here’s a hot one that’s an AWD favorite. This is a pretty damn sexy song that has long been a staple in the iPod rotation in the AWD bedroom/boudoir, baybah. Here’s “Essence.”

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