So, Anthony Weiner is back at it. Here’s a Twitter text he sent several years ago the first time he got caught sexting photos of his man thing out to women.
@lonelytrashywoman Hi babe, it’s me, Anthony. You know, Carlos Danger. Wanted to send u a quick tweet. U probably heard that I’m now in sex addiction rehab. I know, it sucks. Just texting the word “sucks” gets me so hot for you! Are you hot? Tell me in detail what you’d to about it! OK, wait, I’ve got to at least pretend this sex rehab thing is serious. Gotta keep the PR up, ya know. And speaking of keeping things up, I’ve been dreaming about you and me in the hot tub. I know you could find some ways to keep me up, baby. Tell me all about how you would do it babe. Mmmmm….I like that! Wait..must concentrate!
Anyway, the sex rehab is the best thing we could think of to keep my marriage scam going. But this blows! Mmmmmm…did I just write ‘blows?’ Oh baby, I wish I was in the Congressional gym right now in front of the mirror….like always, I would have to be careful…never know when Barney will be sashaying through the locker room. But it’s worth it to take pictures for you with me standing tall like a proud liberal warrior ready for battle. OK, must concentrate!
Here at sex rehab they threatened to take my BlackBerry away if they caught me on Twitter but I told them I needed it for national security and important congressional votes. They actually bought it! Speaking of buying, did you ever get that little Victorias Secret number I told you about that turns me on? Oh baby, I would love to see u in that….we’d be in front of the fire…drinking a glass of wine….with some Kenny G on the stereo….mmmmm….I would take u in my strong, muscular arms and kiss your soft neck, I would then kiss and whisper in ur ears….then I would lick your face all over….mmmmmm…oh yeah, baby…that gets me so sexy!
Ok, must concentrate! So anyway, Huma is gone for a few weeks with Hillary to try to get over all this. It used to bother me a lot about Huma and Hillary being lovers…but then I thought about Huma and Hillary in front of the fire…drinking a glass of wine…with some Kenny G on the stereo…mmmmmm..Hillary holding Huma in her strong, muscular arms and kissing her neck, whispering in her ears….licking her face all over….mmmm man, that gets me so hot! Well, not Hillary specifically..but the thought of her licking Huma’s face all over…just like us. There I go again…must concentrate!! OK, I’ll be here at sex rehab for a few weeks until the heat blows over..there, I said ‘blows’ again! I wish you could see what you do to me. After a few weeks, they say I’ll be cured from my online addiction. Or should I say ‘online a-dick-tion.’
Oh babe, I wish you were here to see the little congressman right now…he’s missing you and needs your special attention….mmmmm. Dammit! Must concentrate! Gotta run, my doctor is coming…oh, did I say that? Must concentrate!