Here’s a chart topper from AWD that ran about this time last year. From what I see, nothing has changed. Libtarded Yankees still believe all Southerners are uncultured rednecks. And most Southerners believe all libtarded Yankees are half-a-sissy, moisturizing Metrosexuals (i.e. homosexual in a metro). Only one side is right. And it ain’t the half-a-sissy boys up North.
AWD doesn’t watch much television. I’m much too intellectual. Plus, I do a lot of hog hunting. That hog hunting thing is for you, liberal Yankees. Because you love to see Southerners as ignorant, backwards assed rubes and rednecks. And, for the record, AWD does hunt pigs. Also clean them, put them on my smoker and then eat the hell out of them sumbitches, too. I also went to hear the symphony at the Myerson in Dallas two weeks ago. As you can see, I’m sophisticated as sh*t!
I’ve noticed when flipping through the channels on the way to the Hunting Channel (one still exists) the plethora of TV shows dedicated to make Southerners look ridiculously stupid. Shows with titles like “Duck Dynasty,” History Channel’s “Swamp People,” CMT’s “Redneck Island,” Discovery’s “Backyard Oil” and “Moonshiners” all pretty much are designed to ridicule Southerners from a Yankee or Hollywood perspective. Not to mention shows like Turtle Man that has a snaggle-tooth idiot who dives into cow ponds to retrieve gigantic snapping turtles with his bare hands. And the redneck Southern rubes always have gorgeous fillies in Daisy Dukes with them as their wives on the show. Yeah, that happens. As a Southerner I see that every single day! Actually, as a Southerner, I’ve never seen that.
Yankees and Hollyweird types put redneck Southerners on TV shows that fit their agenda to portray us all as ignorant morons. These ridiculous TV shows stereotype the South into the aquarium of leftist yankee beliefs of the South, our culture, and way of life. The shows are designed to ridicule what Yankees see as lesser culture. Unfortunately for Yankees, the Duck Dynasty family struck a chord with the America that still holds traditional American values and became the most popular cable show.
Yankees have looked down their noses at Southerners since the Civil War. They seem themselves as the highly educated elite of America. They fill the ruling classes of government with Ivy League educated highbrows who look down their long, pointy noses at the hoi polloi in the South who have the unmitigated audacity to believe in trite outdated concepts like family, religion, the Constitution, love of country, and traditional American values. Why, those backwards Southern men don’t even “manscape or moisturize! Chuckle, chuckle.”
This is why Yankee media types hate the Tea Party movement. They just cannot imagine that any sentient person or movement would not agree with their socialist utopian ideas! How could that be? No, no, they must be redneck Southern rubes who cling to their guns and religion. Oh, and racism! They’re all racists down there! You know, slavery! Yes, that must be it! Major character flaws with those Southern redneck rubes! Because how could ANYONE disagree with the federal government borrowing/printing $3 billion each day to fund non-essential government programs??
But the truth everyone knows but only Southerners will admit is the socialist North and California suck! Upper crust leftists have turned those socialist utopias into blue state economic wastelands. Blue states are bleeding producers who long ago read the tea leaves and moved to the South where they could (gasp!) keep more of their earnings! Blue states have turned into politically correct fascist states where the ruling class passes gun control laws in the dark of night when the vast majority of them have never held a gun! For example, New York passed a law making illegal any magazine (they called it a “clip.” Morons) that held more than 7 rounds. Any Texan worth his Gonzales Flag knows 7 round magazines are not manufactured anywhere in the world. Once the NY rulers recognized this obvious fact, they quickly changed the law where one could only put 7 rounds in a 10 round mag. Oh, OK. That ought to work.
So we Southerners watch the crumbling socialist states with arched eyebrows and ask ourselves “can Yankee liberals really be that stupid?” Experience proves yes, they can. All those Ivy League degrees and not one of them can figure out that high taxes and regulations destroy the economy and jobs? All the while we rubes in the South have a growing economy and growth even in the disastrous Obama years. Everywhere one travels in Dallas/Ft Worth is filled with new construction. We’re making room for those Yankees (hopefully conservative voting) fleeing their Peoples States of Stupidity up north.
As for being backwards, the South enjoys every little thing the oh-so-sophisticated North has except economic and cultural retardation. Ask uber-educated and sophisticated (but conservative supa-stud) AWD contributor RedStaterNYC who ate a “Manhattan quality” (as he called it) escargot appetizer at gas station in Fort Worth with AWD and a few other Dudes during Dude-a-Palooza! I crap you negative. A gas station in Ft Worth has NYC quality escargot. Whatever the hell it is! Plus, we have freedoms Yankees and Californians lost long ago. Try buying an AR in any of those police states! In Texas, the Chief of Police will help you buy an AR!
Liberals (Yankees) have always used ridicule as a weapon. Their Lord and Savior Saul Alinsky taught them ridicule is one of the most effective weapons against their political enemies. So they ridicule the backwards, redneck, racist Southerners who embrace their guns and religion and who are kicking the dog sh*t out of the progressive Yankee hellhole states in every measurement except political correctness and stupidity!
The Duck Dynasty debacle where the Head Duck guy said he doesn’t readily accept poofterism has everyone all in a little tizzy. I really don’t care that much about it because I believe it’s a smoke screen to take attention to the damage Obama is doing to the country. The Duck Dynasty family is rich already and I don’t really concern myself that much with people who have more money than AWD…which is about everyone! Everyone wants to boycott A&E until they put the head Duck guy back on. Who cares?
Want to really hurt A&E and other media outlets of politically correct propaganda? Turn off the @#&* television! Do something cultural. Go to a museum or a play. Or take your child pig hunting. AWD has never seen Duck Dynasty and don’t think I ever will. Don’t care. And A&E can kiss my Southern ass because they won’t get to count me as a viewer. Not unless they start airing hunting shows. Maybe they’ll come up with a gay hunting show! Douches? Meet bags!
Bluntly, Southerners wish leftist Yankee faschists would stay and wallow in the misery their well-educated, leftist educations have created in blue states. AWD cringes when I see the New York or Pennsylvania license plate with Obama/Biden stickers on it. Southerners will gladly clasp conservative Yankees to our bosom with open arms and ammunition supplies if they choose to enjoy individual liberty in a Southern state. But the leftist over-educated/under-smart intelligentsia leftards from up North…stay the hell there! You are not wanted nor needed down here. We will only ridicule you. And we don’t need a TV show to do that!
And for Music That Doesn’t Suck, here’s Matt and the boys from 1100 Springs from Dallas showing that we aren’t embarrassed by our Southern heritage but embrace it. Here’s “We’re From Texas.”
Hell, we can’t stop with only one tune about being a bad-ass Texan! Here’s Lone Star Attitude from Jon Christopher Davis. Last time AWD saw Jon at a show, Jon changed the lyrics to say “I’m gonna get a little rowdy and rude, I might even get an AWD tatoo!” I wept.
And the greatest Chuck U Farley song to libtarded Yankees of all time, here’s Ray Wylie singing “Screw You, We’re From Texas.” I can never get enough of this tune! Might have one of the best lines of all time.
“I like the US and the other states, they’re ok.
But Texas is where I want to be and I don’t care if I ever go to Delaware anyway.”
So libtarded Yankees…suck on that!