AWD, Male Bashing Commercials, Random Posts

MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT LINCOLN CAR COMMERCIAL?

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"IF ONLY THESE FINGERS HELD A BIG ASS DOOBIE!"
“IF ONLY THESE FINGERS HELD A BIG ASS DOOBIE!”

AWD has never wanted to drive a Lincoln before. I’ve never wanted to take drugs, either. But damn! That Matthew McConaughey car commercial has me itching to do both! It seems that a new Lincoln and a few doobs of the diggity dang work wonders for Matthew!

I have to give it to those NYC ad writers. Just when you didn’t think tv commercials could get any worse/insulting/weird, Lincoln breaks out Matthew McConaughey out toolin’ around in the middle of nowhere solving the mysteries of the universe.

Here’s Matt eyeball to eyeball with a longhorn.

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I’m sure there’s some deep meaning in this commercial about the existential competition/harmony of man and beast. Or the Jungian psychological concept of introvert/extrovert between Matthew and the bull. Or maybe the bull was just standing in the road because he got outside the fence. Maybe Lincoln can work in Matt ruminating over the age old Freudian debate between disk breaking and anti-lock brakes in the next commercial.

Funny thing about this spot is it doesn’t say sh*t about the car! It’s just Matthew riding around. Maybe he sounds so weird because he just got lost after smoking copious amounts of weed. Or maybe because he’s from Austin. But I repeat myself.

AWD is pretty damn sure Matthew McConaughey went to UT and lives in Austin. That means he’s nuttier than squirrel poop! And him riding somewhere/nowhere in his Lincoln debating why a cow stands in the road isn’t exactly making me want to go out and buy a Lincoln minivan. Especially when I can flatten that sumbitch longhorn with my F150 anytime I want.

Ford ought to do a commercial with AWD riding around Dallas! I guarandamntee you it wouldn’t be new age moonbat psychology like Lincoln and Matthew McConaughey. It would be a two hour rant with AWD inventing swear words cussing out Chinese bastids and illegal alien Mezcans who cannot PRY THEIR YELLOW AND BROWN ASSES OUT OF THE @#&* FAST LANE!!!!!

Or the crash du jour between a Chinese and a Mezcan that closes down the @#^& North Central Expressway!!!! Or the no-driving, texting, makeup puttin’ on retards that JUST HAVE TO SLOW DOWN TO A CRAWL TO LOOK AT THE @#&* WRECK!!!!! DO THEY REALLY WANT TO SEE BLOOD AND GUTS???? WELL, I’LL SHOW THEM SOME!!!! I HATE THEM SUMBITCHES!!!!!!! WORSE THAN A @#&* COW STANDING IN THE ROAD!!!!!

Sorry. Got a little worked up. But AWD’s driving experience is much different from Matthew McConaughey’s. Especially in Dallas. Maybe I should get a Lincoln!

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18 Comments

  1. Spurwing Plover

    This is the results of the 70’s drug culter wanks as adults their brains damaged by their years of LSD trips and sniffing glue as youths

  2. Dude,
    do not let Lincoln and Matt harsh ya mellow….
    consider Bernays ,Betty Crocker and Bacon…..
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Public_relations_campaigns_of_Edward_Bernays

    yep old Edward….
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_Bernays

    his methods are still going strong today..
    jigg

  3. I had a Lincoln once. It was in the 90’s. It was a piece of feces. I traded it in the day I paid the last note. I would not have a Lincoln if they gave it to me and free gas to boot.

  4. well , its just another commercial that the creators there of have forgotten what they are trying to sell.
    which brings me to fox news, it would be nice if they would squeeze in a little more news between commercials, i am just going to use AWD for my main source…… but wait.. oprah crying, helen degenerate crying, yeah never mind todo esta sux.

  5. My best friends mom in high school drove a Lincoln Continental March VII. She had breast implants and smoked pot with us. Good old Mat looks like he would fit right in. It’s a hipster commercial for the plastic type that tends to drive these cars. It’s almost a mental thing. More neutering of the white male with these fake people, movie type plastic commercials.

  6. “I was crapping in Pampers way before they paid me to crap in Pampers”

  7. Spurwing Plover

    Can anyone remember SEE THE USA IN A CHEVOLET? now a days the ad would be consitred offensive to illgal aliens of Future Demacratic Voters

  8. AWD don’t harsh Matthew’s mellow.

  9. I guess I’m the class doofus tonight, but I dig Matthew. I think he is special. I could watch him read the phone book. I ain’t no homo but damn that’s a good looking hunk of Texas manhood, Austin or not.

    • Wes I like some of Matthew’s movies but I’m more impressed by the seven big words AWD used in this post.

      • I think he must be feeling better these days. I understand during the depths of his bout with the gout and his ticker issues he visited the hospital shrink. Reportedly AWD said he felt like his readers didn’t understand him anymore. The shrink dead-panned, “what do you mean by that?”

  10. AWD, I have to say, you’re growing on me. Now, I just have to figure out if that’s good or bad. I’ll ponder that at the range later today.

  11. I am tired of McConaughey. He plays the brooding, sad, tough man over and over. He plays the deep thinking, detective or lawyer. I don’t like him and I would never be friends with him even if he were a regular person.

  12. carla florez

    Matthew made more money in those Lincoln commercials than you’ll make in 20 years. And he probably doesn’t drive a lincoln

    • Carla, and your point is? There are some things AWD won’t do for money. Unlike Matthew McConaughey.

      awd

  13. Why Lincoln??? Has to be a great deal of money. It would seem to me his first taste in cars would be a Cadillac………,because his wife is black……just sayin’.

  14. Doofus Boofus

    Then there is the other Lincoln/McConaughey commercial where he is remembering a party he attended. That commercial ends with Matthew sniffing his own finger. What is he trying to sniff, Monica Lewinsky’s musk?

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