AWD, Conservative Thought, Random Posts, The Gay Agenda, War on Men / Feminazis

METROSEXUAL BEARDS OF TODAY = MULLETS OF THE 70’S

Advertisement

HI, I'M LANCE AND I'LL BE YOUR GAY WAITER
HI, I’M LANCE AND I’LL BE YOUR GAY WAITER

I’m not sure where this metrosexual lumberjack beard thing started. Probably Nueva Jork or Mexifornia. Places full of sissified males who read GQ Magazine to learn how to be what they think are men. Like AWD has said on several occasions, if you have to read a mens fashion magazine to learn about being a man, you’re doing it all wrong, junior.

It seems that every time the filly and I go out to eat at a restaurant these days, our waiter looks like Paul Bunyan, only gayer. Instead of carrying an axe, they carry a moisturizing kit. And we can imagine the only ‘wood’ they are familiar with…and it ain’t found in the forest!

AWD Googled all this wussidity and actually found there is a term for all this bearded girly-man sh*t. These bearded Nancy-boys are called Lumbersexuals. I crap you negative.

Here’s what some website called Elite Daily says about these types:

The days of the well-groomed metrosexual man might soon be over as the “lumbersexual” trend takes precedence.

The lumbersexual man is essentially an urban woodsman.

He is brawny, wears expensive flannel, has an impressive beard that is painstakingly unkempt and represents the ultimate sense of manliness.

The look of the lumbersexual man can be described as something similar to a hipster-outdoorsman hybrid.

However, you won’t find him in the forest chopping down trees.

The lumbersexual man traded in his days of tree felling for hitting up hipster bars, and instead of wielding an axe, he now carries around a MacBook Pro.

This proves AWD’s theory on these Metrosexual poofter boys. They can’t be real men so they pretend to be real men. And wearing “expensive flannel” don’t make you no John Wayne, Lance!

AWD predicts that society will laugh at these bearded clam boys in a few years like we now scoff at the Mullet of the late 70’s and early 80’s. Of course, those of us with nothing to prove are scoffing like big dogs now at these fuzzy moisturizers. At least the Mullet was “business in the front, party in the back.” The lumbersexual is just gay all over. Huge gay.

Here’s Billy Ray Cyrus sporting a Mullet straight outta da trailer park:

the_greatest_mullets_640_17

Billy Ray’s spawn of Satan, Miley, shows the danger of ridiculously styled men and the danger to society they can do. At least we don’t have to worry about the Lumbersexuals procreating.

Advertisement

Advertisement

5 Comments

  1. And what about those goatees? Oh, wait… 🙂

  2. I can imagine that the bikers are happy to see this.

  3. Timmy T. Boe

    These tools actually come to mine gym here in NJ. We have a couple of flavors of them with all of them being ridiculous, stupid looking and oh so very gay. The first flavor has beards half way down their chest and are tatted up from head to toe. Not sure whats thats about. I mentioned to them one day that they kind of look like ISIS or the Taliban. When the sh*t goes down you may want to shave those beards off as you kind of well you know look like a TERRORIST. I was told to shut up.

    The second flavor has the the beards and wears incredibly stupid things to the gym. Things like what you may ask – how about knit hats INSIDE the gym. Are you working outside in the gym – nope. These tools we refer to as the cotton condom wearers.

    The last flavor takes the clothing up even a few more notches – how about the beard, the knit hat, capri sweatpants (you know pants that terminate below the knee but not at the ankle – I didnt know that men even wore capri pants), a striped sailor shirt like you would see in the Russian navy, a denim jacket and get read…. boat shoes with no socks.

    Yes this is how these asshats come to the gym. I am not joking. We pretty much laugh at them openly and refer to them as burma butt pirates. LOL.

  4. I have a sort-of-friend that thinks he is a metro-sexual. He is straight but he goes with the men’s fads and he tries to act like Matt Lauer on the Today-show. He makes me sick. He is only an acquaintance/friend because my wife is friends with his wife. I made the mistake of playing golf with him and a few of his friends (who were just like him) once. It was all I could do to keep from beating them all to death with a 5 iron. I was glad when it was over with. The fakeness and the liberal/PC s**t was deep on the course that day and I am used to playing golf with real Americans who think conservatively. I was asked once more to play golf with that group (believe it or not…they must have liked the sarcasm) and the quickness and meanness that accompanied my “NO…..thanks” got the message through. These metro-sexuals would not take up for themselves if someone was slapping them around and they had the gun.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*