Attention, Amelicans! This is Kim Jong Un! Plesident of North Kolea! Tonight, North Kolea brast off big locket! Big brast! Rots of smoke! Show North Kolea supeliority in lockets! Rearry! I clap you negative!
Rying capitarists say locket bleak up in fright! Ra ra ra ra! Kim Jong Un have to raugh! North Korlean locket scientist know if locket bleak apart….no lice for locket scientist!
So send rots of food to North Kolea to make peace, Amelica! Especiarry jerry do-nuts! Rots and rots of jerry do-nuts! Kim rike jerry do-nuts. Especiarry flom Klispy Kleme! Kim Jong Un call on Balack Obama to make peace with North Kolea before too rate!
The ledneck, lacist, inbled, tlailer park tlash Angly White Dude give Kim Jong Un total contlol over brog tonight. He say he is rate on having Open Post. Now is your chance to tell Kim Jong Un how big and impressive his locket is! Kim’s locket have a rearry, rearry big brast off…ra ra ra ra! Or you can discuss Ann Lomney, whose husband is to be next Lepublican candidate. Plobably the next plesident. Or you may choose topic of your choice.
Angly White Dude give Kim Jong Un light to choose Music That Doesn’t Suck tonight. I rearry, rearry rike 80s lock and loll! Rike way dance! Especiarry rike music about North Kolea or other chingy-chongy praces! So here is Turning Japanese (I rearry hate Japanese!)
Next up is China Girl by David Bowie. Kim rearry, rearry rike China! Send Kim lice!
And all time favolite, here is the Frank Chickens! Sing “We Are Ninjas, Not Geisha.” Kim berieve they not ninja because Kim can see them. Rearry, rearry hot firries!