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PLEASE NO MORE @#&* RECORDINGS OF LEONARD COHEN’S ‘HALLELUJAH!’

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LEONARD COHEN, RIP

Oh, I’m so damn mad I’m about to blow up and bust just like Elvis did! If I hear one more damn Hallelujah from one more damn singer, believe me, there’ll be more hell than a little bit! Try me!

I guess it was discovered by the world because of the movie Shrek. I remember watching Shrek and, when hearing Hallelujah, said, “Hey! That’s a Leonard Cohen song!” Of course, the filly I was with had no idea who Leonard Cohen was.

Over the past several years, Hallelujah has turned into the ‘must record’ song by everyone from Adam Sandler to Bon Jovi! What the!? Did Adam Sandler run out of stupid movies to make where he plays the same stupid part? And did Bon Jon Jovi run out of Hillary’s ass to kiss? Couldn’t have!

Just stop it, OK? There have been over 100 versions recorded (that we know of). Any singer should ask themselves before pushing the record button: what could I do (other than piss off AWD) that would make my version any different than 100 other tools who don’t have anything else of their own to record?

I suppose we’ll hear some rap versions of Hallelujah pretty soon. “I heard there was a muva-f***in’ chord my homie David played and it pleased da Lord! Check it out! Check it out!” Oh, and you can be damn sure they’ll be some “wavin’ yo hands in the air and party like you just don’t care” with any rap versions of Hallelujah! Why I get so damn mad!

AWD is a long time fan of Leonard Cohen. Saw him twice in concert. Front row seats in ’93! But saying “Hallelujah” is your favorite Leonard Cohen song is like saying hearing someone say they love Led Zeppelin “because Stairway To Heaven is just so awesome!” Note: if you hear someone mention Led Zeppelin and Stairway in the same sentence, you know you are most likely talking to the President of the Journey Fan Club. Nothing could be more awful. I mean, listening to Journey and being President of their fan club. Misery!

Leonard (may he rest in peace) passed last November at the age of old as dirt. But the man was a true artist who created a large number of amazing songs outside of Hallelujah. I’m pretty sure he’s up in Heaven trying to get the Big Man to hurl some lightning bolts to anyone who has recorded Hallelujah. I hope he hits Bon Jovi!

AWD is going to link some of my Leonard faves for tonight’s Music That Doesn’t Suck. If y’all write in and say Hallelujah was his best song, be prepared for AWD to hong kong on your no-knowledge-of-music ass with a spinning death kick to your throat when our paths cross.

Probably my favorite Leonard Cohen song is Suzanne:

I love “Anthem.” There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.

The romantic “Dance Me To The End Of Love.”

The first song I heard from Leonard was Closing Time. I love the lyrics in this. “The Johnny Walker wisdom’s running high.”

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