Semi-automatic AR-15 Assault Rifles attacked the Istanbul Airport in Turkey today. Over 36 are reportedly dead after the AR-15’s with expanded Magpul high capacity ‘clips’ exploded bombs in the lobby of the busy airport.
The AR-15 Assault Rifles reportedly acquired the explosives used in the airport attack through the infamous gun show loophole where hand grenades, missiles, explosives, and nuclear bombs are regularly sold to anyone with money.
Reportedly, the AR-15 assault rifles with the fully automatic, pistol gripped clips shouted ‘Alihu Chuck Norris’ as they mowed down members of the Religion of Peace® in Istanbul. When police closed in, the Assault Rifles exploded themselves to avoid apprehension.
Turkish President Tayyip Erdogan said the attack was aimed at undermining Turkey through the killing of innocent people by crazed semi-automatic assault rifles.
“It is clear that this attack is not aimed at achieving any result but only to create propaganda material against our country using simply the blood and pain of innocent people to keep the Second Amendment in the Great Satan,” he said.
Erdogan continued, “Once again, members of the Religion of Peace® have been killed because of evil Guns of Death from America. We need a sit in at Parliament, that’s what we need!”
AR-15IL immediately claimed responsibility for the airport attacks. Imam Al-AR Armalite said:
“Alihu Chuck Norris! AR-15’s are the true assault rifle and will dominate the world! All other rifles, especially the lowly infidel bolt actions, will one day bow to the AR-15! It is only through the AR platform that Paradise can be found!”
AR-15’s were proud to kill the infidels in Orlando, Great Satan and we are proud to kill members of the true Religion of Peace® in Istanbul. To ensure maximum death, we even brought our high capacity 31-round Magpul nuclear tipped clips!”
There are already demands that Turkey outlaw the AR-15 Assault Rifle platform after today’s airport massacre. An unnamed Turkey leader said:
“Why do we need AR-15’s? They are a curse upon peaceful people. And the extremist semi-automatic AR-15’s with high capacity clips are beyond evil. I mean, Turkey is not the Great Satan! We don’t need these extremist AR-15’s around and I call on President Erdogan to outlaw all members of the AR-15 with high capacity clips terrorist group.”
Democrats in America are prepared to hold congressional sit-ins, gay pride parades, as well as “Be Like Che” beauty contests to protest the AR-15 terrorist platform.
California Democrat Nancy Pelosi said in a prepared statement:
“Why does anyone in America need an AR-15 assault rifle with semi-automatic bullets? The Constitution never mentioned AR-15’s like it does ObamaCare. We Democrats will submit legislation that will make illegal the evil AR-15 semi-automatic assault rifle with full-automatic triggers and high capacity sights. I don’t care what bird hunters say!”