Original Angry White Art, Red's Corner

Rip Van Whitey, Part 3


After a brief hiatus, we return to our story

Rip Van Whitey

On nearer approach he was still more surprised at the singularity of the stranger’s appearance. He was a tall, slender young fellow, with slick-backed hair largely concealed under a derby, with a clean-shaven face. His dress was of the antique American fashion—a three-piece pin-striped suit with a club collar and gold bar under the perfect knot of his purple necktie, coordinating with the cufflinks in his French shirt. He bore on his shoulder a stout keg, that seemed full of liquor, and made signs for Rip to approach and assist him with the load.

Though rather shy and distrustful of this new acquaintance, Rip complied with his usual alacrity; and mutually relieving one another, they clambered up a narrow gully, apparently the dry bed of a mountain torrent.

As they ascended, Rip every now and then heard short cracks, like abbreviated thunder, that seemed to issue out of a deep ravine, or rather cleft, between lofty rocks, toward which their rugged path conducted. He paused for an instant, but supposing it to be the muttering of one of those transient thunder-showers which often take place in mountain heights, he proceeded.

Passing through the ravine, they came to a hollow, like a small amphitheater. Upon entering, new objects of wonder presented themselves. On a level spot in the center was a company of odd-looking personages playing stickball. They were dressed in a quaint outlandish fashion; some wore Oxford bags, others seersuckers, with suspenders or belts, and most of them retained their suit vests, of similar style with that of the guide’s.

Most discomfiting of all, was that they were all porcelain white. Every last one of them.

There was one who seemed to be the commander. He was a distinguished looking gentleman, with an amiable though aristocratic countenance; he wore an impeccably pressed suit, a skimmer hat, small spectacles, and—quite scandalously—clutched a cigarette holder between his teeth.

(The whole scene might have reminded Rip of some classic piece of art…were Rip ever exposed, at any point in his long tenure in his multicultural, diverse paradise, to anything resembling art.)

What seemed particularly odd to Rip was, that though these folks were evidently amusing themselves, yet they maintained the gravest faces, the most mysterious silence, and were, withal, the most melancholy party of pleasure he had ever witnessed. Nothing interrupted the stillness of the scene but the noise of bat on ball, which, whenever they met, echoed along the mountains like short peals of thunder.

To be continued…



  1. Spurwing Plover

    And from the pieholes of Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton comes cries of RACSIST as think as lawyers on a traffic accedent

  2. “I don’t think my education should be censored. We should be able to know what happened in our past,” said Tori Leu, a 17-year-old student who protested at Ralston Valley High School in Arvada.

    Because teaching America in a positive light is censorship.

    The school board proposal that triggered the walkout calls of instructional materials that present positive aspects of the nation and its heritage. It would establish a committee to regularly review texts and course plans, starting with Advanced Placement history, to make sure materials “promote citizenship, patriotism, essentials and benefits of the free-market system, respect for authority and respect for individual rights” and don’t “encourage or condone civil disorder, social strike or disregard of the law.”

    The proposal from Julie Williams, part of the board’s conservative majority, has not been voted on and was put on hold last week… “There are things we may not be proud of as Americans,” she said. “But we shouldn’t be encouraging our kids to think that America is a bad place.” …

    What a dangerous crackpot. How can you have homegrown terrorism unless you teach kids to hate America?

    The proposal comes from an elected board with three conservative members who took office in November. The other two board members were elected in 2011 and oppose the new plan…

    Note that the evil conservatives just “took office.” While the good liberals “were elected.”

    Participating students were not punished, school district spokeswoman Lynn Setzer said…

    Naturally. After all, their teachers probably told them to do this for extra credit.


  3. Somewhat reminds me of Thomas Aquinas’ spiritual journey to the top of the mountain. Difference is, that was a test of faith. Maybe this is too….faith in diversity and the destruction of ones own culture in order to express the love of diversity, with no tangible benefit of course. I cant wait to see what the porcelain white metrosexual hipsters say.

  4. The bumbling croak of former congressman Barney Frank should have been put out to pasture long ago. Frank retired in January 2013, but he is still solicited to mouth off his opinion in the media—for what reason, I have yet to comprehend. As a lawmaker, he was notorious for gay rights advocacy and trashing Wall Street. Even though his two favorite lovers, the government housing subsidizers Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, helped usher in an economic depression, Frank is given a pass. He’s allowed to pontificate about whatever topic strikes his fancy, no matter how clueless he is on the subject.

    In a recent interview with the supercilious lefty group Big Think, Frank does his best to explain the growing acceptance of marijuana use and homosexuality in America. He mentions the “basic libertarianism” of the country as the reason why attitudes are changing; specifically, folks becoming more liberal and tolerant of others. He says it’s difficult to get the votes to prohibit something a shrinking minority believes is morally wrong, especially when that action doesn’t affect anyone else.


  5. Funnily enough Red, I’m watching the opening ceremonies for the Ryder Cup at this very moment. Twenty-four white men plus two white men as team captains. Happy days. Enough to make a diversicrat’s head explode. Must be illegal, surely?

    Waiting for the complaints from some deranged hag at the Guardian/HuffPo/Pravda in 3, 2, 1….. 🙂

  6. Uh Oh!

    White Boys up in the holler? Drinking? And playing golf?

    Is it even legal, for more than two white males, to be in close proximity without the supervision of a minority, or homeland security?

  7. Pingback: Rip Van Whitey, Part 5 - Angry White Dude

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