OK, it’s Friday. AWD has had a hellacious week making multi-billion dollar business decisions in the exciting but dangerous world of plumbing fixtures sales. I can’t give details but let’s just say I have those bastids at Moen by the cojones!!!!
So one entire week in Texas without monsoons, a week of successful bidness, a good looking curvy babe on the agenda for tonight, and it’s Friday! So instead of talking about Our Corrupt Lady of the Cankles, wussypants Republicans, evil Joooos, or other annoyances, I thought it was time to take up a serious topic that begs discussion. And another episode of Music That Doesn’t Suck!
I’ll just say it. ‘Serenade’ is Steve Miller’s best song ever. I will allow dissenting views. No, I won’t. OK, I will, but watch it. I’m ready to go toe-to-toe with any fool who serves up some lame “Ohhh AWD, ‘Fly Like An Eagle’ is my all-time favorite song! It’s got all that freaky synthesizery sh*t going on in it and reminds me of smoking doobies at the beach with Jenny Sue back in high school.” I will beat your ass like a red headed mule if you come at me with that weak sh*t!
Even worse would be, “But AWD, ‘The Joker’ is Steve’s best because…well, just because.” Maybe because you’re a no-good-music-listenin’ tard who can’t piss and hit terra firma in the realm of knowing a great song from a monkey screwing a football! And what the hell is a “Pompatoose of love” anyway?
Speaking of “The Joker,” how many times have the Gods of Rock cursed me to hear that song! Yeah, it was cool the first 1,453,987 times I heard it. But that was back in ’75 in the 8th grade! I just did the math and calculated that I have heard ‘The Joker’ on the radio more times than I have taken breaths in my life! Sh*t ain’t right! Enough with The Joker! I got it! You had me in ’75. You lost me.
No, while putting on my body armor this morning for another day slogging it out with the evil American Standard comm-a-mists (your faucet gaskets suck, a-holes!) in the plumbing fixtures section battleground of Home Depot on Highway 12 in Dallas, AWD had this thought pop into my big, sexy melon: ‘Serenade’ is Steve Miller’s best song ever. I must inform the world.
Oh, and Steve is from Texas. So there.
So, for all you Yanni/Kenny G-listening, mini-van driving, Gap-dressing, musical infants out there, here’s Steve Miller’s greatest work in the history of Steve Miller great work. I present you…..Serenade!
I’m still prepared to kick your ass over this!